DEAR BUTTERFLIES [ COMPLETED ]

10

Tw* mentions of blood

Elizabeth's POV

"Doc-", he tried saying but instead of words, it was blood that rolled off of his tongue, running down his chin, falling down to his neck. His eyes were filled with panic, swiftly looking straight at me. I rushed towards him and handed him my now empty coffee mug. 

"Spit it out, it's okay, I'm here", I told him, slowly rubbing his back. He looked reluctant, maybe a bit hesitant, looking at me as if I were crazy but did it anyway. After he was done I got him to gently sit down on the chair that had been padded next to the coffee table, causing him to let out a small yell as a response to the quick motion . He looked exhausted, why wouldn't he be, it's painful for us to watch people go through these, it's hard to imagine how painful it must be for them to actually go through it. Blood spots were a common occurrence for cancer patients, especially leukaemia patients, the radiation makes the gums weak, hence causing them to bleed. 

I took a rag that was kept next to the medication pile, dampening it with some water slowly with the water jar that was kept right next to the meds, cleaning his blood stained face. His skin was soft, smooth, effortless even. I dabbed the wet cloth over his neck and that's when I saw it. 

Petechiae and boils. 

One symptom that people with leukaemia might notice is tiny red spots on their skin. Parts of his neck were covered in them. No wonder he yelled when he sat down. 

"How long have you had these ?", I asked pointing to his neck, at the tiny red blobs..

"What ?", he was confused, maybe he didn't hear what I asked. 

"The boils and Petechiae, Myles?" 

"I don't know ? Since I started higher chemo", he said as I made a mental note to reduce the density of radiation and chemo drugs. 

"I need you to stand up", I know I was asking a lot but I had to check the severity of the spreading petechiae. He nods and I offer him my hand, helping him stand up. "Um, I need you to take your shirt off and turn around.", I said , looking down at my feet , not being able to see my gaze. 

"I don't know how to ask this of you but I need some help unbuttoning the shirt", he said, his voice was filled with guilt, guilt he shouldn't be feeling. The pain he shouldn't be going through in the first place. It felt so unfair for him to suffer like this. 

"No need to feel guilty to ask for help, we all need a little bit of it no matter how strong we are or we pretend to be", I said slowly, taking a step forward, "May I?", I asked, looking at him, earning a nod. I slowly started unbuttoning his shirt which was soon discarded to the side of the chair. He turned around facing the way and I was facing his back. 

An audible gasp left my mouth upon the sight in front of me. His back was filled with a cluster of red dots, they formed their own galaxy in his back, a navigation map, one that will only lead to tremendous amounts of pain and despair. The clusters of stars formed in the sky fell pale to this. I was left speechless by the look of them. Not only were they filled with blood but some of them were filled with pus, which made things ten times worse, it wasn't his hygiene that caused it, it was the chemo and radiation. I reached out to examine them only to have him shudder and move. 

"That bad huh?", he asked rhetorically. 

"I-" 

"God", he breathed out as a reaction to me running my hand down his back. 

"I'm sorry", I said with a crack in my voice, hoping it wasn't audible trying my best to swallow the golf ball sized lump in my throat down. This hurt me, looking at this made me feel privileged, privileged enough to not go through this pain, this extensive ache. I hated it, hated seeing someone go through all this, begging for their lives in front of gods and deities, even the ones they might not know of, fighting and struggling to keep on fighting, whilst there are people who are ungrateful for the life they have been gifted. 

"I'll need you to come in tomorrow and get some tests done since we haven't been provided with your past results of your bloodwork and some extra tests just to make sure the radiations aren't worsening your health", I told him sliding the sleeves of his shirt up his arms and helping him turn around. 

"I'll be there", he said as he turned and now facing me, I looked down as the single tear spilled down my cheeks, I hope he did not see anything. 

"Are you okay?" 

"I should be the one asking that" 

"I'll be fine" 

"Are you sure?" 

"I'll be okay, don't get upset over those, they come and go", he said , "I'll be gone before you know it too", he muttered under his breath.  

"I'm not going to let you die"

"You can't promise that, just try your best not to get hurt, sometimes it's better to let go of those expectations" 

"Well it's time to change those expectations and the things you've accepted, I'll make sure of that. Be there in my office by 9 tomorrow and we'll start from there." I told him to make him smile. I couldn't stop myself, the emotions took over and hugged him one last time before I left, "I won't let you die or wake up alone in pain ever again and that's a promise." 

The older I get the more I see people begging to live, I've seen people on their deathbeds, with every little fight for life line. I know how begging for life is, I know how it goes. I'm not letting him go through that, I won't let him beg to live, living is hard I know but I'll make sure he lives, make sure he doesn't lose to this battle.

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Here's the 10th chapter, pretty emotional for me, but this is just the start, the real story takes a course from here. I hope you enjoyed reading it. Make sure to vote and leave your thoughts about the same in the comments.

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Word count : 1118 words

Until next time 🤍🎀

EDITED AND REVAMPED *