No Help

Chapter 16 | Savannah

"So let me get this straight. You've been flirting with one of the hottest guys on the hockey team - who likes you as well, you've become friends with his roommates, you almost kiss him several times, and then give your virginity to him only to leave while he's in the bathroom and avoid him for several days?" Jia tossed back her tequila, grimacing a little. "Did I get that right?"

Siannah and I had been sneaking off to Jia and Tink's house so I could avoid Jace needing to get my thoughts, as well as my speech together before telling him how I truly felt.

Rubbing my finger along the clear shot glass I looked at the devil liquid. "I was saving my own heart- and before you say anything, I know it's selfish of me," I rubbed my temple, imagining the look on Jace's face when he walked into his empty room. Did he shrug it off and go on with the day? Did he rip the sheets off with a smile happy that he conquered another virgin? "but I needed to think of the ways it would affect our friendship now that it happened."

"So your first time was a spur of the moment kind of thing?" Tink asks, receiving only a nod in return. "Was it . . . bad?"

Shaking my head the memories replayed. My heart beating harder in my chest remembering the way he kissed me. How gentle his touches were and his sweet words of reassurance. "It was amazing." I whispered.

"We all thought so too." My sister mumbled.

"Siannah!" Covering my face, embarrassment burned at my cheeks.

Feeling her arms wrap around my shoulders she rocked us from side to side, "Don't be embarrassed little sis." She laughed. "From the sounds I heard the rumors must be true."

"Siannah." I groaned.

"What? You don't have to give me the details but -"

"I need the details." Jia almost fell out of the chair trying to unwrap her arm from the blanket so she could raise it. "I need all the juicy details."

"No." Tink threw a mini marshmallow at Jia's head. "You don't have to tell us anything, Savannah. We all know how special you wanted your first time to be. I just want to know if you regret it or not."

"Regret?" Siannah asked, shocked, then turned to me, "You don't do you?"

"Of course not! I . . . I really enjoyed it and if my afterthoughts didn't swarm me with questions then I would have stayed, maybe even hinted for a second round but," my throat felt like it was closing as tears blurred my vision.

"The thoughts." I heard Tink speak for me sadly.

"What thoughts Kat?"

Giving a poor smile to Siannah as she slid a cupcake across the coffee table while rubbing my back, I told them how I made my head hurt trying to push away the questions of what would happen now. Was he expecting me to be gone when he got out of the bathroom? Was this a one time thing now that he could put a checkmark next to my name?

It made my stomach turn. I felt so embarrassed and disappointed in myself that I bolted. Grabbing my clothes and dressing with the speed of light I ran down the stairs telling Siannah we had to go as I walked out the door. The soreness of love making in my thighs hurt with each step.

I wanted to be more than friends with Jace. I wanted something beautiful and not temporary. I wanted the strings because I deserved them but my heart was too afraid of rejection. To see Jace scratch the back of his head trying to figure out the best way to let me down easy. It was something I never wanted to witness from the receiving end, especially from Jace Carter.

"Hello?" I jolted out of my thoughts seeing Siannah on the phone. "Hey Nate . . . Oh really? Shit, that's amazing! How'd you fix it? . . . Wow, you're the greatest . . . So we can move back in today? . . . Okay, we'll be there soon. Bye." Ending the call she smiled widely at me. "Our place is fixed. We can move back in!"