Deranged Love - Hanma Shuji

Chapter 5

When I woke up the following morning, Koko was nowhere to be seen. Not a trace of him anywhere around, I made sure of that by checking every room and corners in my house. It felt lonely for a moment, to not have anyone around the place, but I wanted to get back to being used to it. I had been living like that long enough to not shed a tear simply because criminals had left my house, how odd of a thought to have.

Even as I thought it stupid to feel like something was missing from their absence, I could not find the strength to act as if nothing had happened, nor was I allowed to do so. The adrenaline I had felt during those two days was addictive and without it, everything seemed dull now. For the few days during which Hanma said he would be gone, I barely heard of him. My routine had returned and no one at work found it strange that Eisuke was gone; as I asked around, they told me he had gone on holiday with a woman he had recently met. A knot formed in my stomach at the mention of that woman because I knew who it was, I had been the one forced to play the role of the love-struck woman that adored her little CEO. It made me sick.

On Tuesday while I was at work, I received a message from Hanma that made me lock my screen right away. For some reason, I thought it would be smart to check the message while my Junior was watching over my shoulder to see how I did things. With the skin exposed on the photo, it did not take a genius to guess what the context was, so I closed it and set my phone facing down on the desk. "What is it?" she asked curiously, her hands planted on the desk as she leaned over to check the screen I was working on. With a rehearsed confident chuckle, I shook my head, "Just a friend."

Her reply caught me off guard when she exclaimed, "You have friends?!" She quickly realized it was rude. I did not take any offense in her words—it even made me smile at how genuine her shock was—but it did put in perspective how little of my life revolved around socializing. "I mean, that's not what I meant but like, I'm sorry, I never see you when we go out drinking with the firm on Fridays, so I assumed you did not like doing that kind of stuff and—" "Alright, alright. You are forgiven, I do have some friends albeit a scarce amount." Once more, I lied to the girl. Sure, I had a few people I hung out with, but we were all very busy with work. While I could count on them no matter the issue I encountered, I no longer felt safe spending time with them if it gave Bonten leverage on me to know I had people I cared about.

"Although, this one is more of a... how should I put it..." Colleague? How would one call someone who threatened them into joining their awful criminal organization, to then flirt with you in the worst way—was it even flirting or was he just vulgar? Sighing, I covered my face in frustration trying to find the right words. "Are you flustered? Is it someone you're interested in?" I heard Rai ask in excitement. I was quick to uncover my face and shake my head, "No, absolutely not. No such things, it's someone very annoying and bad—" "But you have their number... how bad can they be?" Her hand slid to my phone and tried to unlock it, in vain. It made her sigh in disappointment as she handed it back to me, pouting slightly. She was getting comfortable around me, which was reassuring. I liked that she was not being as fearful as in the first weeks she had started working alongside me.

Seeing how dejected she was, I sighed too and smiled softly. "I sometimes work a business on the side, to help... this friend out, and he finds it fun to send me..." inappropriate photos? To jerk off on the phone with me? To traumatize me and force me to use a gun against my will? Nothing was right with any of those things, yet here I was, feeling relieved to see a message from the bastard. "He has a lot of free time, let's say. And he likes to show off where he goes, I suppose." Rai's face lit up and she rested her elbows on the desk, her face cradled in her hands, "Does he travel a lot? Does he have money? Do you see him a lot? Is he cute?" Without thinking much, I answered rapidly, "Yes, quite. Yes. Unfortunately, yes. Yes."