Deranged Love - Hanma Shuji

Chapter 25

A buzzing. It's repetitive, but by the time I'm awake, it's stopped.

My body is heavy.

Do I have trouble breathing?

No, it's not that.

It's arms, wrapped around my form.

I slowly wrapped mine back around his. It's comfortable, nice... so much so it did not feel wrong for once. After all that had happened last night, I felt closer to him, more than I ever had—not just from the fuck he gave me, but from the things I had done, things that had changed me so much I wondered if it wouldn't be better to forget who I was. All I knew was that he had wanted that from me, and as long as he wanted me I could live with it.

But I had changed just for him, this so-called devotion he had mentioned last night must have been worth something. He wouldn't leave me... but the only thing that could reassure me right now was something he could never speak of out loud. Was it because he did not mean it? Or simply because it was too hard for him to say it? Whichever it was, I was never going to hear it from him, which would leave that seed of doubt slowly sprouting in my mind.

Opening my eyes, I let my hand drift up his arm slowly, tenderly, only to rest it on his cheek. He was peacefully asleep, I was surprised he hadn't woken up yet but couldn't ask for anything more because he looked absolutely beautiful like this. "I love you." I whispered, kissing his lips passionately as I brushed his hair back and smiled to myself, "You love me too, right?"

You do, or you wouldn't have gone all this way to turn me like this, I know it, I reassured myself.

I kissed him again then nestled against his chest, his hands subconsciously bringing me closer. Or so I thought, until that very hand moved to my ass and helped me on his lap in seconds; grumbling, he pushed my face from him and looked at me with tired eyes, "Why the fuck are you awake at this hour?"

"I think I heard your phone buzz, it woke me up." I smiled.

He sighed loudly and moved me off of him before reaching for his phone. The moment he glanced at the screen, he let out a chuckle that quickly turned into another drained sigh when he ran his hand over his face. "Your crying made me deaf, that shit rang five times." He scoffed, turning on his side to look at me with a half smile, a tired one. When he reached for my face, I didn't flinch because I wanted to take whatever he'd give me—why did I think he'd hit me? I had surprised myself with that very thought and almost apologized to him out loud but whatever was going in my head should stay there.

"You look like shit." He looked down at both our forms, I followed his gaze and did the same. My hips were slightly bruised, I had scratches all over my stomach along with the mark of his teeth on my breasts—I looked up at him and gave him a small smile. That made him quirk a brow, so I pushed him on his back and straddled his lap, "I think I look quite beautiful, don't you like it?" I then pointed at the bite mark, "You liked that one," Then I placed his hands back on my hips, his thumbs brushing over the skin absent-mindedly, "I think you liked that one too..."

He wasn't reacting yet so I grabbed his right hand and guided it between my legs, "Don't tell me you didn't, cause you were fucking me like a dog in heat." "'Think it must have been cause you were finally shutting the fuck up, that got my dick going." He smirked then snatched his hand away and rapidly grabbed mine to place it on his half-erected cock, "If you're already in a mood, suck me off. But I'm not fucking you, we gotta leave in 30 minutes and looking at you," He threw me a deadpan look, "I should wash you down with a pressure hose."

I playfully swatted at his dick as I stood up with a huff, rolling my eyes at his attitude this early in the morning. Wiping my hand on my torso, I showed him the lipstick, "Well, whose idea was it to use fucking lipstick, huh? Yeah, yours, so yes, you're gonna wash me up cause... cause..." When my eyes focused more on the red of my hands, I could remember the pool of blood in the hall. Her brain splattered on the wall, her eyes looking straight at mine and the desperation I felt when she told me we could still leave—