•𝗖𝗼𝗺𝗽𝗹𝗲𝘁𝗲𝗱• |𝗬𝗶𝗻𝗪𝗮𝗿'𝘀 𝗦𝘁𝗼𝗿𝘆
I don't know what I did wrong.
I really don't know...
Why aren't I good enough for you?
He's my bestfriend and I always treat him very well but honestly, I don't know what he thinks of me. Did he just...
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『𝙒𝘼𝙍 𝙋𝙊𝙑』
🅵🅸🆁🆂🆃 🆆🅴🅴🅺 🅾🅵 🅹🅰🅽🆄🅰🆁🆈,2018
This year was the last year of school before we graduated from high school and starting this year, I was determined not to go for the next chapter with him anymore.
When I said I wanted to stop being his best friend, I really meant it. I didn't look for him anymore, I didn't message him and I didn't call him. I also didn't see him for almost a month because we were on break last month, so I used that over a month to move on from him, erasing all the feelings I had for him.
After that day, he also didn't call, message or look for me. It made me realize where my position and my place in his life was because if he wanted to talk to me, he would. If he wanted to be with me, he would. If he wanted to make things right, he would. If he really appreciated me, he would never put me in a position where he was going to lose me.
There was always a rainbow after the rain, right? I hope so because I had been such a dead person for more than a month because I tried to move on from him.
I just locked myself in my room. I didn't even go out even before this I always spent time hanging out with my buddies but I didn't do it anymore. I didn't often respond to my friend's messages and I skipped a banquet that was hosted by our class last month. I informed them that I was busy and they accepted my reason. At that time, I was still unable to face Yin. My heart was breaking so badly.
I didn't talk to anyone about me and Yin because I didn't like to share about my problems, especially those involving Yin. Even before this, he treated me harshly but I never revealed his negative side to anyone. I really genuinely loved him and I didn't want my friends to have a negative impression of him.
I've always been known for my upbeat demeanour, yet theory has it that those who appear to be the happiest were often the saddest when they were by themselves was valid to me.
It was hard when I needed to pretend like everything was fine in the past but I actually am not okay at all. Yes, maybe I laughed in front of people a lot but in the middle of night, I cried a lot. The irony was that even though I know how it ended, I still got up every morning and pretended that everything was fine because I wanted him to be there for me forever and I want to hold him for as long as I can.
Finally, after more than a month in the process of healing, everything was starting to go back to normal, I guess. I finally accepted the fate between us and let him go. I wouldn't be a stupid War like in the past. I would be the new me, the new War Wanarat.
