Lover Boy💔(A Changlix Story)

xlii ⚠️

JEONGIN heard a loud thud and he jumped up from his bed from shock. His roommate Jisung had already left the dorm an hour ago, so it couldn't have been his clumsy self tripping like every other day. Jeongin ran up to the door and heard frantic knocking. He immediately looked through the eyehole and his eyes widened when he recognised the familiar face. "Chan-hyung? What's wrong?"

The older's hand was placed on the doorway for support as he inhaled and exhaled rapidly, attempting to catch his breath from his recent sprint.
"W-we really n-need to- to talk... could I please come in?" Chan asked, gripping onto his shirt from his nerves. "Yeah... of course- come in."Jeongin fully opened the door and watched as Chan slipped his shoes off and flopped onto the couch.

"What did you want to talk about?" The younger asked as Chan shuffled to sit up.
"I've been sort of thinking about Felix and Changbin... their problem is communication which is key to a relationship." Jeongin hummed in response and took a seat next to the older.
"Jeongin... we haven't gone on a date in weeks..."

The younger looked down to his hands that he fidgeted with in his lap. "I just want to know what I did wrong..." Chan stammered. "I really care about you Innie and I'm sorry for what I did, whatever it was, I'm incredibly sorry." Jeongin turned his head to see Chan nervously biting his lip and breathing heavily. "You didn't do anything wrong hyung."

"Then what? Are you sure? How come everytime I ask you to hang out, you always say no... I must've done something wrong, this is my fault right, it's all my fault!" Chan felt his heart skip a beat when his lips met with his lover's. Jeongin wrapped his arms around the older's neck and kissed him with every ounce of his being and with all the passion he had to offer.

"Please... please don't apologise hyung..." Jeongin whimpered as looked deep into Chan's eyes.
"Never let me go again..."
"Of course... I should've told you the truth when I had the chance. I don't know what's wrong with me."
"What's the truth?"
"I fell in love with you... and I got scared."

"You- you love me..." Chan sighed with relief.
"Yes... yes, of course I do."
"I love you too.. I'm never going to hurt you Innie, you're too precious to me. You know that right? If you ever have something bothering you, please tell me."
"Yes Channie-hyung..."
"Promise?"
"Promise."

The two smiled and pulled each other into the most comforting and loving hug possible. The two embraced each other's warmth and touch as they each snuggled into each other's necks.
"But... there is something I want to know..." Jeongin muttered. "And what's that, baby?" Chan replied as he cupped the younger's cheek. "W-why... why did you cut yourself?" He asked as he traced his finger along the older's scarred thighs.

"Y-you really want to know?"
"Of course. If we want to be honest, I would want to know why you did this to yourself, only if you're comfortable with telling me though..."
Chan softly kissed Jeongin's forehead and sighed. "Of course I'm comfortable with telling you."

⚠️TW⚠️

a few years ago ~

Chan ran. He just ran. He couldn't unsee the look of disappointment. It was engraved into his mind and it stained his thoughts. He couldn't think about the fact that he was in need of food or because he been running for so long that he was thirsty. All he could think and see was the face.

He failed. He failed the evaluation. He forgot his lyrics, completely messed up his choreo. He couldn't bear to step foot into the building again after his show of absolute humiliation and failure. He somehow hadn't been kicked out or had his contract exterminated, he had been given a very severe warning.

16 year old Chan took refuge at one of his best friends dorms. Seo Changbin. The younger immediately knew something terrible must've happened when he saw the look on Chan's face when he had arrived at his doorstep. His eyes were red, puffy and he looked extremely exhausted.

"I'm gonna go to the bathroom..." Chan softly croaked as he stood up from the couch.
"Yeah sure..." Changbin replied.
The older took the opportunity immediately. He found the utility knife in the kitchen and he had slipped it into his pocket whilst Changbin was fixing the two, cups of hot chocolate for the rainy day.

Chan ran up the stairs and locked the bathroom door. He waited not one second. The sleeves of his shirt had been rolled up but... he started to think. People could see the scars easier.
He sat on the floor and rolled up his shorts.

Why was he such a nobody.
He had so much and he deserved none of it.

He counted 10 cuts, 5 on each leg. He sighed with relief and he dried the blade and placed it underneath the sink. He washed his tear stained face and went downstairs to see Changbin with a large smile on his face.

⚠️END⚠️

"The company sent me an email, they are considering 3RACHA for debut! We need to get Jisung here NOW!" The younger exclaimed excitedly.

Chan couldn't pluck up the courage to admit how poorly he had performed in his solo evaluation. The proud and cheerful look on Changbin's face only made him feel even more guilty. Today wasn't the day. He painted a grin on his face and he sat next to the younger and hugged him tight.

"Thank you Bin..."

~

Eventually the company found out about Chan. His contract finally had been exterminated closely being followed by Jisung and Changbin who both respectfully left the company as well. Chan still regretted it til' this day.