lxxvi 🔓

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~PART IV~




















4 months later...

"CHANGBIN!"

"Changbin!"

"SEO CHANGBIN..."

"Seo Changbin..."

The boy groaned when he felt a ruler poke his shoulder. "Changbin... we're still in class. Come on, it's only another 15 minutes and then we have lunch." Chan said, attempting to reassure the younger. "Y-yeah sure..." The younger replied with a stammer as he was suddenly anxious.
"Thank you Chan, now back to-" He whipped his head to the board where finally the teacher was able to resume his lesson.

Changbin took careful notes as he glued his eyes to every word and every diagram he could replicate in the small amount of time. Once he made a minor mistake, the boy would immediately stop his actions and silently cursed to himself as all of his attention now was focused on the small misplaced dot of ink on his piece of paper.

Every little sign, every little detail had to be noted, so he would never be surprised, never left behind... not again.

~

"I can't find him anywhere... we don't have any of the same classes today and he wasn't even at break." Changbin said worryingly as he scanned the school's garden.
"I'm sure Felix is not far away, but can you blame him for wanting space? You did act irrationally towards him." Hyunjin replied.
"Yeah- ugh I'm such an idiot..."
"You realise now?" Seungmin chuckled.

"Not the time, Minnie- but he does have a point. Felix is literally an angel, an angel sent from heaven and you treated him pretty shittily if you ask me. You both got hurt because you both weren't honest, you're both in the wrong, but I know you guys. Your relationship, no matter what is stronger than one argument. If anything, I would've been more concerned if you guys never fought."

"Is it not too late? I don't think we can come back from this and he's leaving so soon-"
"Why are you giving up so easily?

You're not the Changbin I know..."

~

"You're not the Changbin I know..."
The boy snapped from his thoughts and he looked up to see his teacher with a concerned expression on his face. The rest of the class were gone as he had realised the bell had rung.

"Changbin... for the past term you have been very distracted through my classes and I've heard from other teachers that you are having difficulty with their classes as well. Are you doing alright?" The older crouched so he was now slightly below Changbin's eye level and he tilted his head as he waited for the student's answer.

"Yeah... I-I'm fine. I guess I've just had a lot on my mind." Changbin responded with a slight shrug.
"If this is about your mot-"
"I SAID I'M FINE! CAN YOU JUST LEAVE ME ALONE?!" The boy snapped as he slammed his fists down onto the table, his aggressive voice booming  and echoing through the classroom and his stationary vibrating and shaking from the power of his hands. The teacher slightly lowered his head and showed no reaction, he simply sighed.

"I know that you're going through something, I don't know what exactly, but it's clearly taking a huge toll on you emotionally. I guess today must be really hard, it's your mother's birthday right? You told me last year you visit her grave every year when it's her birthday."

Changbin silently winced. He was hurt by the sudden thought of his last visit. The sky cried and the rain was so heavy that the ground almost flooded. The whole world was like a cold shower and the water poured like waterfalls yet it seemed pathetic as it hadn't matched the extent of Changbin's tears.

He too frowned as he was reminded of the day's significance. Changbin was so distracted by his competing thoughts that he had so foolishly forgotten his mother's birthday.

"Yeah- she's been on my mind a lot."
Amongst other things,
"And I don't know how to stop."
But that's not what is holding me back.

"Changbin... please don't think you have to stop thinking about your mother. Just let me know if you're feeling overwhelmed and you can talk to me about it. Have a nice lunch, finish your last two classes and have a good weekend. Go hang out with friends, go to a fun party with your fellow students. Distract yourself and you'll be ready for next week. You'll be ready for anything."

Changbin smiled and the teacher nodded.
"Thank you so much Mr. Wang."
"Of course- now... I also want my lunch so- go to the cafeteria! Join your friends and have some good food." The teacher encouraged the student. The younger bowed and immediately sped walked to the cafeteria.

He looked as his friends were waiting for his arrival. Chan and Jisung immediately pointed to the spare seat that they had saved especially for the boy.
"There you are! Are you okay? Did Mr. Wang scold you?" Jisung asked the older.
"No- it was- uh well he comforted me. He noticed my recent behaviour and was really nice about it."

"I know the past months have been very difficult ever since Fel- he... he left and I applaud you for staying strong. Just remember that 'Sung and I will be here for you no matter what." Chan said with a smile. "I really appreciate you two staying by me even though your boyfriends are currently sitting with Hyunjin and Seungmin."

The three turned their heads. Jeongin was sitting with Seungmin whilst on a seperate table, Minho was sitting with Hyunjin. "Those two both hate my guts and I don't know what to do... I don't know how I can make it up to them for my mistake."
"All we can do is hope that it will be better soon."

Changbin sighed and he watched his friends enjoy their lunches. He wasn't in the mood to eat. Those two boys were the only people close to him who he's trust with his life, the only two who truly had his back.

If he hadn't been controlled by his emotions, the rest of his friends would've never left him, he would've been happier and the boy he loved would've been at his side.

He threw it all away for what... jealousy?

Changbin did and he regretted it more than anything.






















Changbin did and he regretted it more than anything

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A.N - Have fun deciphering this 😘

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