Bad Sanses x Reader: Parody Version

Parody Ten - The Valentines Cliché

Y/N stood up abruptly a bit surprised. "What is the date today again? This is unusual of me but tell me I just heard wrong." Y/N said.

"February 14. Valentine's day. Something wrong with it, sweetheart?" Killer said and chuckled. "You're scared we might do something, aren't ya?"

'Ah shit. Another one of these filthy cliches. Valentine's day isn't the best. In fact, it is the worse a fanfiction writer would do with these goons. Seriously, what's wrong with people and their crappy romance these days?' Y/N thought a bit concerned even if they didn't want to admit it. They can handle whatever cliche throws their way, but Valentine's day can be unpredictable especially to different authors. They weren't exactly anxious, they were annoyed.

'I'll just assume the writer dislikes Valentine's day, considering their story writing and plot so far, it's possible. Especially in the previous chapter.' Y/N thought. Correctly.

They walked out on the room not long before Cross appeared with red roses. "Happy Valentine's day." He said. "Will you be my partner for this day?"

"I prefer black roses." Y/N said and walked out. They met Nightmare on the way with black roses. He seemed to stalked them, which Y/N already expected. "Will you be the person to sit beside my throne?"

"No and, don't stalk me like a creep. It hinders my thinking."

"So, when are you gonna write me a poem?"

"Gee, haven't you moved on? That was like, seven chapters ago. Oh right, you can't. The writer won't allow it. Poor you." Y/N said whole maintaining their usual poker face.

"Ugh, you're so cute. Too bad the writer can't make you fall head over heels for me. Why not?" Nightmare lifted their chin smirking wickedly. Y/N pushed it aside and replied "Because this story is dedicated to making fun of you non-canon goons."

At the library, they met Dust sans this time. He was waiting for them earlier. "Hey." He said and waved his hand, smiling like an innocent friend. "You do know what I would like to do, right?"

"Of course. I know it just by looking at you. Sharp smell of perfume even from this distance, properly cleaned and wearing a clean jacket with no dust and baby perfume, fingers tapping nervously on the table, white roses hiding under the chair, chocolates stolen from Cross. You wanted to ask me out." Y/N answered.

"And all that was just spoiled and ruined. Just sit down." Murder said throwing away the roses. He hasn't forgotten what Y/N did to him in the previous chapter. They sat down and read a book as usual. Dust asked why his heart can't stop fluttering whenever he sees Y/N. "It feels like heaven whenever I see you. Don't you know how excruciating this feels?" He said.

"A pity." Y/N said with zero sympathy. "The writers do this to make the readers scream like fangirls or fanboys. Here's a trick to stop that tomfoolery: ask yourself why you like me and that'll fix it."

Murder applied the suggestion. Why did he like them? Because... "Because... yeah, why? I have no reason to like you when we exclude feelings and impulses aside, and I actually have tons of reasons to hate you." Murder looked at them. "Thanks for the tip. With this, I can slap myself to reality and see that you're not as pretty as the angels."

Y/N flipped the next page. "I don't have a face, moron."

"That's exactly it. How can you live here without a face? I mean, who does this shit?" Murder said.

"That's a question we're better off not answering."

Horror barged in the library and approached Y/N. He suddenly grabbed their arm to stand up, and about 0.2 seconds, Y/N presumed this was an attempt to have an immediate kiss. They countered it by quickly sliding behind Horror and crossed his arms. "Pardon me, glutton, but you're under arrest for sexual harassment."

"I surrender." Horror said.

They let go of him and went back to reading. "What do you want?" Dust asked Horror. He also hasn't completely moved on from the jam incident.

"To eat. With them. A date." Horror said pointing at Y/N.

"Too bad then. They're denying. Now shoo." Murder said.

"You too. Shoo." Y/N added.

"Oh sorry, human. But you're the one who needs to leave. Because I got here first. Now shoo with Horror."

"Hm... fair point."

Y/N left the library and lied on the couch. The book was pushed aside by Killer and they were pinned down by him. He smirked. "Something wrong with it, sweetheart? Afraid I might do something to you?"

"You are the worst fanon Killer the people have ever created. Get off me." Action sprang on the couch, and not some kind of dirty action idiot, it was the two of them battling on whether Y/N stays or leaves. They were hand wrestling. "Hahaha!" Killer feigned a laugh, but it was no light matter. As mentioned in the previous chapter, Y/N has great physicality here.

"Something wrong with it, Killer? Afraid I might do something to you?" Y/N said. They won and kicked Killer to stand up and punch him. "Are you in your right mind now?" Y/N asked.

"Oh Y/N. Let's die together."

"Go jump off a cliff yourself."

Error sans teleported and pulled Y/N to a room with a table, candles, roses, yada yada. "I *BEEP* Iii don't remember wanting to set that up but I did aaanywway. Stupid *BEEP* creators."

"Why bring me here, then?" Y/N asked. "Is it because you can't help it? I can tell you a suggestion then." Y/N told the same thing they said to Dust. "Ttthat *BEEP* that makes a lot lot *BEEP* more sssense."

"Get it, now? It's all an illusion-"

"Get out of here." Error said.

"Rude. I'm not an intruder. Okay then." Y/N left the room and was greeted by a Papyrus servant. "Oh hi, Steve." Y/N said.

"How did you know my name-?

"Heard Nightmare call you that several times. I can tell the difference because the cracks on your forehead have subtle edges compared to the others. You're Steve."

"Oh..." Steve found it rather relieving than annoying. He didn't have to keep introducing himself again and again anymore. Y/N knew that. "About His Majesty... he wants to see you in the throne room."

"Tell him I know he's just going to give me a crescent shaped necklace. No, thank you. Bye." Y/N said and headed to the library. Steve respected the human already.