Bloodline ✦ Nomin

44

⊱ ─── { Jaemin } ─── ⊰

Jaemin lies on his back in the middle of a beautiful meadow filled with bright yellow flowers surrounding him. Birds softly chirp from a nearby trees while a gentle breeze makes the leaves rustle. The sky is a beautiful baby blue with pure white clouds adorning it. Everything felt so serene and calm: like time didn't exist here and he was free to peacefully lie without a single worry about anything or anyone else.

"That one looks like a dinosaur," a soft-spoken voice remarks from beside Jaemin, "Like a t-rex."

He looks to his right and finds Renjun lying down with his hands resting on his stomach. At first, Jaemin feels his entire body jolt with excitement, but it fades away quickly as he becomes vaguely aware that this wasn't real. Still, he lies there with a soft smile as he admires the details of Renjun's beauty.

The soft rays of afternoon sunlight shine on his face and produce a sort of ethereal glow from his perfect skin. His eyes glimmer like they contained the brightest stars in the sky. Jaemin always felt like he could easily get lost in Renjun's beautiful eyes if he gazed into them for too long.

Jaemin sits up, causing Renjun to focus on him rather than the clouds.

"I'm sorry, Junnie," he practically whispers.

Renjun smiles fondly at Jaemin, and it makes his heart skip a beat.

"You haven't called me that in forever," he points out, causing Jaemin to feel his chest constrict.

"That's because you'd always bully me for it," Jaemin  retorts with a pout.

"Yeah...but I always liked it. I liked the way you said it," Renjun admits.

"What do you mean you 'liked the way I said it'?" Jaemin cluelessly asks him.

Renjun laughs, but it's nothing more than a forceful puff of air.

"I liked how sweet you made it sound," he answers with his cheeks turning a soft pink hue, "I noticed you would call me that when you thought I was being cute...or when I wasn't doing anything but you would look at me like I was the most endearing creature on Earth."

"Because you were," Jaemin's vision begins to blur as he tries not to let the lump currently forming in his throat cause him to choke up, "No one will ever be able to compare to you. You were one of a kind...Meeting you was a once in a lifetime experience, and I'm glad the stars aligned so that I got the chance to know you. I wouldn't change it for the world."

Renjun's eyes light up so brightly that it was almost enough to send Jaemin into a fit of tears. He was so beautiful...so perfect...and he missed him so very much.

"God...you're as sappy as ever, aren't you?" Renjun teases him.

"I guess I am," Jaemin confirms with a broken smile, "Renjun, I...I didn't get to say it back to you last time I saw you, but...I love you, too. And I miss you. I wish there's more I could've done to save you. I still get nightmares about it. I'm surprised this one is so...nice."

Renjun sits up and turns his body to face Jaemin. He places a reassuring hand on top of his, and a surge of electricity runs through Jaemin's body at his touch.

"Its okay. You didn't know any better," he responds in an attempt to put Jaemin's mind at ease, though it doesn't do much else aside from confuse him.

"Didn't know any better?"

Renjun's bright expression slowly morphs into that of sincerity and seriousness. He peers deeply into Jaemin's eyes, and it brings the younger a sense of comfort before he speaks again.

"I'm trapped, Jaemin," he states as fear dances behind his eyes, "I don't know where I am, but it's cold and empty. It's pitch black, and when I try to run, it feels like endless nothingness. It's like I'm stuck in a black void with no way of getting out...I'm scared."

Jaemin feels his heart sink as the corners of his mouth draw downward into a frown.

"I'm so sorry...I wish there was something I could do," he remarks helplessly, "but I can't...You're dead, and there's nothing I can do."

Renjun lowers his head and shakes it dismissively.

"I'm not dead...I don't think so, anyway...I'm trapped," he insists, and it becomes harder for Jaemin to listen to.

Renjun is dead. He died with his stomach sliced open and his intestines coming out of the wound. He was unable to be healed and took his final breath in Jaemin's arms. If there had been any hope of Renjun still being alive, he would have known about it. He would have chased after that shred of hope with every ounce of willpower he could muster, and he would have moved Hell and Earth to bring Renjun back.

But Renjun is gone. He's gone and nothing can bring him back.

"Please, Jaeminnie," he speaks with a pleading voice, "Find me."

Jaemin abruptly jolts awake, gasping as he sits up in bed.

He had anticipated potentially meeting Jeno in his sleep, but in retrospect, having another depressing dream about Renjun seemed very much like something he should have equally expected. But this one felt different, somehow. Maybe it was because he felt fully conscious of the fact he was in a dream, or maybe it was because he was doing something other than reliving Renjun's death in some sort of variant, he wasn't sure. All he knew for certain was that his heart was incredibly heavy, just like all the other times he's dreamt of Renjun. He wanted so desperately to believe his dream meant something and that Renjun was still alive, but he knew better than to hold onto that sort of hope when the only hunch he had to go on was a dream version of his best friend insisting he wasn't dead. It was stupid and irrational. He cursed his brain for conjuring up something so painful and cruel under the guise of a sweet dream.

It suddenly dawns on Jaemin that he must've had that dream because of his fallout with Jeno. A part of him desperately wished Renjun was still alive and well and simply waiting to be rescued. He wanted to believe there was hope in reuniting with the man he knew loved him so selflessly that he gave his own life to save his. He wanted Renjun back, but he was gone. Forever. And he needed to accept that, no matter how much it kills him inside to do so.

"I'm sorry, Renjun...I'm so sorry."