Breaking

Chapter 21.

"Why? How could you...? What the hell would make you think that?"

"If I hadn't said anything about Alex," she whispers, and I exhale deeply through my mouth, dragging my hand down the side of my face. "You would've stopped at the stop sign and we would've never been hit."

That's why she kicked me out, because she thought she was going to hurt me. But she didn't.

"You didn't, Arabella, you-"

"But I did!" She snaps, lifting her head and looking at me again. "I picked the wrong moment you tell you about Alex and it nearly got you killed!"

"I blame myself for that night too. I hate myself too. I thought I could protect you too but then I nearly got you killed too. Can we just stop placing blame? It happened, we survived, and...but...I...I hate the way I talked to you." I groan softly and sit down on the floor, pressing my back to the counter. I wish I hadn't said that part. But I can move on, go back to talking about the accident and she won't notice. "The accident...I can't help blame myself but I fight those thoughts because, like in life, it just happened. That car didn't have to be there but it was. I ran the stop sign but I didn't put the other car there. I didn't make them hit us. It just happened. And I'm sorry."

She sits down next to me. "What do you mean you hate the way you talked to me?"

Crap. I moved on but she noticed.

"I was so angry that you lied to me that I yelled at you for doing the one thing I asked from you. Commutation. You trusted me and I yelled at you." I put down the ice bag, crack my knuckles and wince at the pain. "I was just so hurt that you didn't tell me about Alex, I was scared of losing you to some boy..." I shake my head and tug at the roots of my hair. "If I hadn't lost my shit and yelled at you...I would've stopped."

We fall into a silence that let my words scream volumes. I watch my teardrops fall off my face and land on my jeans. I continue to tug at my roots. I'm fighting and right now I'm losing the fucking battle.

Arabella's tiny fingers wrap around my wrist, and I force myself to release my hair as she pulls my hand away. "You thought you were going to lose me to Alex?" She whispers.

I nod slowly.

"That's ridiculous," she says, her tone lighter. "I love you, Tobias, I don't think I could..." she trails off as I lift my head and look at her, utterly shocked. "What?"

"What...what did you just say?"

"'What?'"

"No, Arabella, what did you just...? I love you too, kid. Come here." I pull her in and hug her, kissing the back of her head. "I love you, kid."

And for the first time in a long time, I'm not begging to be back in that damn coma. I'm glad I'm awake.

The next morning...
Slipping out of sleep's grip, I feel someone standing over me. My eyes pop open and I'm suddenly wide awake. I slowly sit up to see Arabella standing at the end of the couch, staring at the hole in the wall. "That's where I kept the money," I tell her.

She flinches as if I had scared her awake.

"I told you you were a pirate," she tries to smile then drops in the seat next to me.

"How'd did you sleep?"

"I tossed and turned for a while but it's the best I've slept in weeks. I think a lot of weight was lifted off my chest last night. How about you?" I can only nod because she has already said it all. "Can I ask you something?" She wonders then quickly continues. "What did you tell my mom when you went to the apartment last week?"