LOVE YOU TO DEATH | TAEKOOK

8. Hard to Hold

*content warning for all kinds of things. Adult themes, mature language, substance misuse, reference to unlawful behavior*

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NBC News: An NYPD Officer was seen entering The Palace Hotel where JJK and Park Jimin have been staying. What remains unclear is why Mr. Park is not at his apartment, which is here in Manhattan. Park Jimin is a known consort of JJK and the public is wondering, what role does Kim Taehyung have in this saga? Why hasn't he been seen exiting the hotel? What is the real story and who's going to tell it?

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"Morning, my love," Taehyung blinked groggily as he opened his eyes and was immediately met with Jungkook's omnipresent apologetic stare.

"Hey, Tae Tae," he murmured, head still on the pillow as he gazed across the bed, trying to memorize the details of the older's face.

Taehyung allowed a thin smile to cross his face, "What did you dream about?" He asked, finding immense comfort in just the fact that they were able to look at each other again.

"I dreamt we were back at home, in LA," Jungkook answered lightly, and surprisingly quickly. It was all he could think about, how much better everything had been before.

Taehyung took a deep breath and nodded, "I wish we were, baby," he whispered, as though it were some kind of secret between them.

He reached for the younger's hand beneath the blanket, finding it to be tucked away, out of sight and out of reach.

Jungkook pulled his hand out from under himself and pushed his fingers between Taehyung's, studying how their hands fit together. Did they fit better or worse than before?

"Do you think if I had told you I was married to Lili, that we'd still be together?" He asked introspectively, though it came right out of the blue to the older.

Taehyung made a low humming sound, "I don't know, Koo. Maybe. It's always hard to tell. I wouldn't have cared though, if that's what you're asking," he promised, releasing the younger's hand and softly touching his cheek with one finger.

Jungkook nodded, staying quiet for a long while as Taehyung watched him intently.

"Can we just not talk about it for a little while longer?" he asked, pursing his lips and waiting for the older to nod.

Eventually, Taehyung nodded, "I'm just following your lead here, Koo. This is uncharted territory," he admitted reluctantly.

Jungkook bit down on his lower lip, the pain nothing compared to what he felt seeing the fear and distress that was now a constant presence in Taehyung's eyes.

"I miss you. And I promise you don't have to be afraid of me, I just wish you didn't need to see all of these parts of me right now," he murmured, not sure why he needed to say that right then.

Taehyung blew out a long, slow breath, letting his gaze drift, "I get that, I just wish you could be honest with me, my love," he replied, though sounding somewhat sheepish. It felt like he'd said those words a lot.

Jungkook rubbed his face with one hand, nodding downwards, "I, um, I'll try, honey. I'm trying," he muttered in submission, before starting again.

"You know, it seems so shitty to say right now, but you changed my life, and I'm so grateful for that, Tae," he continued, a hint of optimism glittering in his eyes.

Taehyung ran his fingers through the younger's hair, "Oh Jungkookie, me too. I'm trying too. I'm just trying to understand. And trying to be patient," he divulged, feeling his cheeks warm up.