𝐓𝐇𝐄 𝐒𝐄𝐂𝐑𝐄𝐓 𝐃𝐈𝐀𝐑𝐘 𝐎𝐅 𝐃𝐑𝐀𝐂𝐎 𝐌𝐀𝐋𝐅𝐎𝐘

Chapter 8

The Secret Diary of Draco Malfoy: Aristocrat, Ne'er-do-Well, Rampant Homosexual.

Chapter 8: 14th February – 28th February.

Sunday 14th February.

Dear Diary,

Omigod, it's Valentine's Day! See, usually this wouldn't be a problem. Usually, Pansy and I would boycott the entire thing and spend our evening making ritual funeral pyres for all the cutesy teddy bears and love-hearts we could get our hands on, and bitching about how pathetic all the romantic couples are. This year, however, I have an actual boyfriend. Who wants to take me on an actual date. And naturally, this changes everything. Pansy is in a grump because she says I've betrayed her and violated the rules set down in our 'Anti-Valentines Pact.' She's just bitter because she hasn't got anyone to take her out. I told her that she should have waited until after today to dump Theo, then at least she would have got some chocolates out of it. She seems to think that there is something morally wrong with this idea. I don't know; it's what I would have done.

Anyway, Harry and I are going for a romantic dinner in Hogsmeade later tonight. To say that I'm a tad nervous would be an understatement. I think I might pass out with terror. I mean, something's bound to happen tonight, isn't it? All this romance is nothing more than a pretext for some hot boy sex, isn't it? And I still haven't found a way to tell Harry about my little problem with his more dominant side. What if he jumps me again?

Oh, this is stupid. I mean, I've wanted to have sex with Harry for well over a year now. I can't believe that now it's almost certainly going to happen, I'm backing off. Well, I'm just going to have to get over it. I'm leaving for our date in exactly one hour, and I still haven't decided for definite what I'm going to wear.

It's so involved being me!

Later.

Wow. Just wow. It's about three in the morning and I just got back, but I can't go to bed without writing about everything that happened tonight. Oh, wow.

Harry had booked dinner for two in the Three Broomsticks. I have to say, the evening didn't get off to the most promising start. We decided to walk to Hogsmeade because we thought it would be romantic, but sadly it started to pour with rain when we were half-way there. I chivalrously conjured up an umbrella which saved the situation until we actually got to the Three Broomsticks. Sadly, my conjuring skills leave much to be desired (knew I should have taken Charms), and my umbrella was far bigger than I had intended it to be. Harry went inside, and I attempted to close the gargantuan umbrella and follow him. Unfortunately, I ended up closing my own head inside the umbrella, then hitting the top of it on the top of the door frame. This caused me to fall backwards into the street, my head still stuck inside the treacherous pseudo-parasol. Luckily, Harry had already gone inside. The only witnesses to my humiliation were some hoi-polloi who were loitering outside the pub, and a quick Memory Charm sorted them out. By the time I caught up with Harry, I was all sweetness and smiles. It's amazing, actually, the extent to which the Malfoys' reputation for grace and propriety is the result of our talent for erasing people's memories of our all too frequent disgraces. Cunning folk indeed.

Harry had booked us a private table, which was very sweet. Somehow, he managed to consume an entire steak with chips, followed by a chocolate soufflé. How does he manage to stay in such good shape? I was so nervous about what might happen later in the evening that I could hardly eat any of my chicken salad. Unfortunately, this prompted him to query whether I had an eating disorder.

I sighed. "You've been talking to Crabbe and Goyle, haven't you?"

"They might have mentioned something, yes. They were concerned about you. Draco, I never realised how much you obsessed about food before. They told me about your weird diets and your crazy obsessions with your weight. You do realise you're gorgeous, right? You don't have anything to worry about."