𝐓𝐇𝐄 𝐒𝐄𝐂𝐑𝐄𝐓 𝐃𝐈𝐀𝐑𝐘 𝐎𝐅 𝐃𝐑𝐀𝐂𝐎 𝐌𝐀𝐋𝐅𝐎𝐘

Chapter 9

The Secret Diary of Draco Malfoy: Aristocrat, Ne'er-do-Well, Rampant Homosexual.

Chapter 9: March 1st – March 16th.

Tuesday 2nd March.

Dear Diary,

Well, I think I'm almost definitely going to fail my final year. The reason being that Harry and I can't seem to drag ourselves out of bed. Oh well. Of all the reasons to completely screw up all my future prospects, that has to be the best one. I can't believe how fantastic Harry is!

We fooled around in the prefects' bathroom last night. Harry is even sexier when he's wet. Rather embarrassingly, we got so caught up with how fun the various types of bubbles were that we almost forgot to get to the sexy stuff. Harry had got some of the pink foam and had shaped my hair into devil horns, and I'd got those bubbles that don't burst for ages and was throwing them at Harry so that they stuck to him. We were giggling uncontrollably and generally having a grand old time. Then we both just looked up at each other in bemusement. "Seriously?" Harry said. "This is what we're doing with our alone time?" It was a bit of a worry. The rest of the evening went a lot more smoothly. Soapy sex is fun.

The whole episode has left me rather concerned, however. I'm not sure that Harry doesn't have some weird predilection to exhibitionism. We were just drying ourselves off and putting our clothes back on, when Harry says, cool as you like, "Hey, I hope Moaning Myrtle wasn't around this evening."

I looked up in bemusement. "Who's Moaning Myrtle?"

"Oh, you know, she's this ghost who likes to hang around in bathrooms. I hope she hasn't been spying on us."

I looked around the room in horror, then dragged Harry outside, despite the fact that his trousers were still around his ankles.

"Draco! Steady on! What's the rush?"

"What's the rush?" I cried in outrage. "Are you serious? Harry, please tell me you're not talking about that hideous, whiny ghost who, not content with getting hit once by the ugly stick, asked it to move in with her so she could indulge in a masochistic relationship with it? She could have been watching us? When we were doing stuff?"

"Well," Harry said awkwardly, "there's a chance. She travels through the pipes and sometimes spies on students in the bath through the taps."

"And you know this how?"

"Well, I snuck in there once in fourth year, and she came out and told me."

I stared at him in outrage. "And you've been going back there since? Oh God, Harry, you don't know how many times I've used that bathroom! I've sung in there! I've practiced my sarcastic comments! I've had imaginary conversations with you that bordered on explicit! Ooh, I feel violated! I can't believe you waited until now to tell me!"

He grinned. "Sorry, baby, I really did forget."

I decided to let it go, but I'm going to have to keep an eye on him. I suppose all that pressure Harry's under to be a good boy is bound to result in some sort of rebellion. Or some sort of weird ghost-voyeurism sexual kink. I mean, if that's the case, I'd be very understanding. I'd be willing to help him with his problem. I could even find a way to accept it – there must be some sexy male ghosts out there, right? We could get one of them to watch us. I mean, it would still be weird, but I could live with it every now and then to keep Harry happy. I draw the line at ugly, zitty girl ghosts, though. That's just not right.

I stayed over at Harry's last night. Weasley and Granger were out when we got back to Gryffindor Tower – probably had some sort of bad hair convention to go to or something. We hung out with Ginny for a bit, along with Dean Thomas (who is actually pretty cool) and Seamus (who scares me). Ginny isn't too bad, when she isn't threatening to kill you. We talked about Quidditch for a bit, and Ginny has promised to teach me the Bat Bogey Hex. It will be awfully handy the next time I have a run-in with Blaise. I think I might set Pansy up with Dean, actually. He's intellectual and artistic, which she really likes in a man. Ooh, and then we could go on double dates! Oh dear, Harry and I have become one of those couples, haven't we?