falling - chris sturniolo

eight - feelings

after matt had dropped me off, i walked into my house and i look around to see if anyone was home. no one.

flora was probably out with her own friends and my parents were probably working. i had the house to myself. i honestly didn't know how to feel at this point.

but should i trust my boyfriend?

was abby really a friend?

i mean why would i trust my boyfriend if he's friends with a girl 10x prettier than me?

i let my thoughts fade away as i  grabbed ice cream from my freezer and walked upstairs to my room. i got changed into comfortable clothes and grabbed my laptop from my night stand, i put on gilmore girls on netflix and began sobbing my eyes out as i eat my ice cream.

all my emotions had built up and i just let them loose. i just wanted to know what i did wrong.

was i not pretty enough for him?

was i boring?

was i ever enough for him?

an hour has passed and i had stopped watching netflix and stopped eating my ice cream.

i just sat there in silence.

my thoughts went away as i heard someone come inside the house from downstairs.

'el?' a familiar voice had yelled.

i hear footsteps coming up and i hear a knock.

someone opens the door and i slightly turn my head to see my sister.

'hey el, are you okay?'

the 'are you okay' got me and i had started to start sobbing into my stuff animal that chris had got me on one of our dates.

'hey, hey, hey what's wrong, it's okay!' flora came to me and wrapped her arms around me.

i sat up so i could just lay in her arms.

i start to calm down so i can speak.

'chris wanted to go to lunch with me but instead of us being alone, he brought company'

'who was the company?' flora asked moving my hair back so it wasn't in my face.

'her name was abby and she was literally perfect'

'elianna williams, you're literally fucking perfect shut the fuck up'

i smiled at what flora had said and told her what i've been feeling about me and chris's relationship.

she had understood and told me that i should tell him my feelings about it.

the next day

i called chris to come over and he was on his way.

i kind of didn't want to talk to him or anyone right now but it was the best thing to do.

i hear someone come in and i go downstairs to see chris. he gave me a smile.

'hey el' he came up to me and gave me a hug.

i didn't hug him back after awhile but i eventually did.

'so why'd you want me to come over?'
he said letting go of me.

'i wanted to talk,'

he nodded and we went up to my room.

'soo..?' he sat down on my bed waiting for me to talk.

'i feel like you don't give me enough attention like you did at the beginning of our relationship and i know it sounds stupid but i feel like you just been on your phone all the time and you like can't go anywhere without it and the yesterday when you said that we were going out to lunch i thought you meant us alone!! but you brought this random girl who is way prettier than me to eat and think i would be friends with her.' i catch my breath after saying what needed to be said.

i look up at him.

you've got to be fucking kidding me.

'what the actual fuck chris!!'

'what?'

'you're on your fucking phone!!'

'i just gave you a whole damn speech and you weren't even listening!'

'uh sorry i was texting someone chill'

'who were you texting huh?'

'who chris'

he sat there in silence. but before he even say anything i interrupted him.

'it's abby isn' it?'

he slowly nodded and stopped looking at his phone. he started to take this serious knowing that i was upset.

'i cant do this chris.'

'i can't date someone who i can't trust'

'you don't trust me..?' chris said standing up.

a few tears started to form in my eyes.

'so we're ending this, we're done just like that..'
chris walks towards me but a walk back.

i nod my head and we just make eye contact, i stare into his sparkly blue eyes, he stares into my brown hazel eyes. i look down breaking the eye contact and he just walks out of my house.

that's it.

we were done.

we just broke up.

i feel like i got stabbed in my heart so many times.

i feel like i couldn't breathe. i dropped down to the floor sobbing and after hours i never got up.