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The nurse pulled me out of the room. Tears still streaming down my face. "Wh-what happened to him?!" I asked. The nurse finally stopped smiling.

"He's dying." She said softly. My heart stopped my breath slowed. I wasn't at peace. I was lost. My mind stopped functioning. "The car hit his spin. The fluids leaking to his brain will kill him by tomorrow." She said looking at her feet.

"Please let us spend his last day together." I said. I need to be with him. I needed to kiss his lips one last time. Hold his hand before he passed. Smell his cologne while he cough breathe it in too. She needed and walked off.

I opened his curtain. He sat there numb. A small smile speed across his lips. "Hola mi amor." He said blinking slowly.

"You learned Spanish." I said grabbing his hand.

"For you. I take Spanish now. Or I did. The doctors already told me." Tears welled in his eyes. They ran across his tattoos. He quickly wiped them away.

"You can cry love. It's sad." I said. If he was going to die I wanted him to have let his emotions through to someone. He nodded letting the tears follow those stain his cheeks.

"I save dick by givin it cpr." He sang quietly. I kissed his lips. Letting his run his hands through my hair. The kiss was long. Our tears combined. I never wanted to leave this position. Luckily for him. He wouldn't have to remember leaving it. His heart beat started flat lining.

"Ash?!" Fez said jointing up. "Fuck ashtray! Get up! Don't die ash." I walked away slowly. My breathing heavier than before. I hugged fez. He was never a hugger. But he wrapped his arms around me.

"Ash.." I said through tears. By now nurses were surrounding him. Attempting to revive him. Me and fez both had our eyes closed. We couldn't stand to think about a life without ashtray. He meant so much to both of us.

"Time of death... 3:43." I jointed up. He was t dead. No he's not dead. He can't be. I ran over to him. I kissed him one more time. Hoping it would work like it did in the movies.

"No.. no... NO! Get up! It's not time to die! Your so young ash. Wake the fuck up!" I said shaking him. Nothing changed he was in fact dead.

1 week later.

Today was the day of Ashtray O'Neill funeral. I dressed in a black hoodie and leggings. There was no one to dress up for anymore. I hadn't left my room sense his death. I only got up to use the bathroom. I've only showered once. My mom brings me food. I've mostly slept but I still feel tiered.

When the ceremony started I felt that same numbness I felt the moment I herd that he was going to die. Tears dint start forming in my eyes. They'd never stopped coming sense he died. The last seven days I've done nothing but cry. I rarely checked my phone. If I did. I wouldn't open pictures of any social media. I couldn't stand to look at him when he was alive. It sent me into a flash of memories.

When I was called up to give my speech I whipped my eyes. "There's no way too repair yourself to give a speech at the love of your life's funeral. What I can say is he shouldn't be gone. Ashtray O'Neil was only 14. Many of you never got to meet the actual ashtray. He always had a wall up. That wall took me 6 months and 4 days to break down. That was the day he died. The kid laying in that casket was the most amazing person. He would do anything for the people who loved. He was perfectly imperfect. If he never mad you laugh you shouldn't be here. Ashtray... he only deserved the best. He deserved every kiss I ever gave him. Every second he breathed. He deserved it. Ashtray O'Neil will never be forgotten. Every time the sunsets or rises I'll think of him. Ever time the wind blows I think of him. Every rain drop that falls from the sky will bring me back to him. I moved to this town with a mission. To figure out if love was real. I figured it out. True love is real it will drive you to do anything. Love what makes you find each other after everything. Eventually I'll find you again ash. I promise."

I sat back down. Looking down at my tear stained hoodie. He was really dead. Nothing could change that. As I watched him be placed in the ground. I couldn't help but want to open the casket he layed in. Just to make sure he was gone. I didn't feel real. It felt like a night mare. One I could be shaken awake from. He was my everything with out him what was I? It truly felt like I was nothing.

Eventually Fez and I were the only ones left. Fez placed a blunt on top of his casket. I couldn't help but laugh through my tears. The sun seemed to shine less now. Ashtray was like the sun on a rainy day but even on the rainy days the sun was still there even when it was out of view. I took out a necklace I'd bought for our 6 month anniversary. I placed the gold necklace that had the letter E on top of the blunt. I decided to let fez be alone with his brother. I walked to my moms car. I sat down I felt like nothing. The world was irrelevant with our ashtray.

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