Left With Liam

Chapter 8

Mel

It's been a few days since my not-date with Liam. I feel like I don't know how to act around him now. It's not like he did anything strange or made any moves on me. He was just himself- kind, caring, thoughtful, sweet, funny.

I have no reason to act the way I have been since that day. Ever since we made it back to the apartment that night, I've been avoiding him. Well, kind of. I've been making sure our interactions are short and sweet- most no longer than five minutes.

Why am I doing that, you ask?

I have absolutely no idea!

Except, that's a lie...

I know the reason. I'm just afraid to admit it to myself or anyone else.

It's been years since I last felt like this. I still remember the way he held me, the way he loved me and made me feel so special...

*Flashback:

It was just your average Tuesday; I finished up with classes for the day and was heading home from practice. My coach had really put me through the wringer that day. She kept telling me my jumps could be higher and my spins tighter. I had to repeat my routine fifty times before she was finally satisfied. By then, I was so sore and ready to drop.

Justin texted me, asking how my day went. I told him how my coach was trying to kill me and that she may just succeed one of these days. He was supportive and told me he had faith that I would overcome anything she threw my way.

After a few more encouraging words, my stress had disappeared. He was always good like that, finding ways to make my worries melt away. Always my rock, my hero, my safe place.

When I got to my apartment, I said goodbye to Justin and got cleaned up, needing a hot shower to soothe my aching body. Afterward, I headed to my kitchen to whip something up quickly for dinner. As much as I didn't want to cook, I knew my body needed sustenance, and a trip through the drive-through wasn't on my meal plan.

I started setting out my skillet and other cooking necessities when someone knocked on my door. Not expecting company, I went to answer the door, wondering who was outside this late in the evening.

My heart leaped as I looked through the peephole. Justin was standing outside my door, wearing the sweetest smile. I pulled open my door, unable to hide my joyous surprise. "What are you doing here, babe? Don't you have an early practice tomorrow?"

He nodded as I led him inside. "I do, but my girl had a rough day. I just wanted to come by and make sure you have a wonderful night."

He leans down to kiss me. When he pulls back, his smile has grown. "I brought you dinner. Didn't want you to have to cook. It's from the grill- roasted veggies, grilled chicken, and a side of quinoa."

Everything he brought came right from my meal plan. I could have tackled him right then and there, but my stomach had other ideas. It started grumbling as soon as I opened my mouth to thank him.

We both looked down to the source of the noise before sharing a laugh.

"You have perfect timing, J. I was not looking forward to cooking tonight after the hellacious day I had."

Justin grinned at me as he started pulling things out of the paper sack, setting them in front of me so I could eat. "I figured, so I thought I'd take care of that for you."

I watch as he finishes setting the table. I can't help but admire him. His face is relaxed, and his smile is so pure. It's like nothing in the world has ever gone wrong. He looks like an angel. How did I get so lucky?

He stops what he's doing and looks at me. His eyes shine with such love they could knock the wind out of me. Slowly, he moves over to me, holding me captive in his stare. When he's only inches away, his hands caress my arms, moving from my fingers to my shoulders, leaving chills in their wake.

He gives my shoulders a light squeeze before moving his hands further, up to my neck. His thumbs dance gracefully over my cheeks as he pulls me in for a mind-numbing kiss.

"I love you so much, Mel," he says softly, placing his forehead against mine.

My heart stops for a moment like it does every time Justin says those words. "I love you too, Justin. So very much."

I pull him closer, crushing his lips against mine, wanting nothing more than his mouth against mine. He obliges me, deepening the kiss, letting our tongues meld together for several perfect minutes.

Then, he slowly moves away, leaving one more soft peck on my nose. "You should eat before the food gets cold."

He chuckles as I whine, no longer as starved for food as I was a few minutes ago. "We'll pick this up again after. I promise. First, you eat."

It didn't take long for me to finish my meal. I was far too excited to pick up where Justin and I had left off. And just as he promised, we did. We molded ourselves to one another almost immediately after my mess from dinner had been cleared away.

We didn't have sex that night. No, we just kissed- a lot- and he held me close as the night wore on. He made me feel safe and warm. The feeling I had, laying in his arms, was the best feeling in the whole world.

I remember the sound of his voice as he'd whisper sweet things in my ear as I drifted off to a peaceful rest.

*

I miss that sound so much. I miss the feeling of his arms wrapped around me. I miss him.

I feel a tear as it drips down my face at the memory. I swipe it away before it hits my neck. He was my soulmate, my one-and-only, my whole world. But now, he's gone.

My feelings for him burn so brightly in my memories; I never believed I could feel that way again. The way I felt the other day with Liam, though, makes me question if that's true.

The things I'm starting to feel for Liam are so similar to how I felt in the beginning with Justin. It's so light and refreshing and happy, but it also scares the hell out of me. Plus, my wicked mind keeps making me feel bad about feeling such things for another man.

A small part of me keeps chastising, saying how could you do that to Justin? He loved you so much! You're betraying your soulmate!

It crushes me, thinking that I've somehow sullied what Justin and I had, but I can't help how I feel. I tried to stop those thoughts of admiration from creeping in. I wanted to prevent them from turning into more, but it's proven difficult to control. No matter how hard I try, the feelings just keep growing. And I'm not sure if I really want to stop them anymore.

The small part of my mind that tries to make me feel guilty all the time- it quiets when I'm with Liam. I can't explain it. I don't know how or why, but it does. When I'm with him, I don't hear those voices quite as loud. The feelings he brings out of me cry out louder than the rest, and while we're together, I start to feel free again.

Sooner or later, I know I'll have to figure out just what I'm feeling. Is it love? Is it lust? Can I really do this again? I'll have to sort through the pain and the uncertainty and make a decision.

These last few weeks have been a rollercoaster of emotion for me. The more the time passes, one thing has become more and more clear- my feelings for Liam are growing.

And not just in a friendly way.

A/N:

Not gonna lie; I almost cried writing the flashback. 😭😭😭 What did you think? Do you want to see more flashbacks of Justin? And how is everyone feeling after this chapter? 

Excuse me while I burry myself in a tub of ice cream now...