Left With Liam

Chapter 15

Mel

After what happened on the plane, I find myself wishing for that feeling of safety and comfort Liam gave me. I want him to wrap his arms around me and whisper sweet things in my ear. The feeling I got when he did that was so pure, so real; I don't think I can deny it anymore.

What I feel for Liam, whatever this thing is between us- it's growing. I smile at the thought as I stand in my room at the resort- still frozen in place, unable to move. I've been glued to this spot since I left Liam in the hallway, standing here, lost in a daydream.

When I look up, I'm staring at my reflection in a mirror. A couple of years ago, I wouldn't have recognized the woman peering back at me. She looks happy and light, almost as if the weight of the world isn't on her shoulders.

Her skin has this strange glow to it- you know, the one you see in romance movies when the girl discovers she's in love and her love interest loves her back. Yeah, that glow.

I study myself in the mirror, wondering how long I've looked like this. Have I looked this way for a while now? Is it new? Is it because of a certain green-eyed hockey player that seems to make my heart stir?

Has anyone else noticed?

Has he noticed?

I study my reflection more closely. That's when I see it- the tiniest hint of sadness behind my eyes. So minuscule that you'd hardly notice if you weren't paying very close attention.

It's that tiny detail that reminds me that I'm staring back at myself. That small reminder that the woman in front of me lived through a tragedy. The sadness in my eyes is still there. It's not as prominent as it used to be, but it's still there. It has been since that day- the day we lost Justin.

I feel the tears start to well up in my eyes. The memory of that day threatening to push to the surface, daring me to remember every vivid detail of the worst day of my life.

I close my eyes tightly, shaking my head, trying to shove the memory back down. Instead of letting it come to the surface, I try to think of a happier memory, one that won't turn me into an emotional disaster.

My tears are still nearly spilling when I finally think of a happier time- I remember a happier memory...

The first time I met Justin.

*Flashback:

It had been a long, grueling day. My coach had been working me incredibly hard, trying to work out the kinks in my routine for a local competition set to take place next week. She had me run through everything at least thirty times and then had me practice individual components of the routine until they were perfect.

I'd been spinning, jumping, and skating for hours now, starting to regret signing up for this competition when my coach was finally satisfied with my performance. She gave me a quick word of praise before leaving me with instructions for what to do over the next few days until my next session with her- eat this, do that exercise, practice these skills...

I was thoroughly exhausted by the time she finally released me from practice. Even so, I felt a need to wind down from the session. I wanted to feel calm. I wanted to remind myself why I was doing this- why I love skating.

Instead of packing up and leaving for the day, I stayed a while longer. I changed the music to something soothing, something I've always done when I need to refresh. I started skating, making random patterns on the ice, and inserting random jumps when the mood struck.

I skated without a routine, without an end goal. Out there, with my music and no one watching, I skated for myself. I did it for the fun of it, for the freedom I felt just letting the music in, and my feet feel the rhythm. In those moments, it was just me and the ice.