Left With Liam

Chapter 39

Liam

"Dude. Liam. Liam!" T.J.'s voice cuts through the fog in my brain, startling me.

My head snaps in his direction as I silently wonder how long I zoned out this time. "Huh? Sorry, man. What did you say?"

He frowns as he studies my face, running his eyes up and down my features, trying to figure out what's up with me this morning.

"It's your turn to order," he tells me, nodding toward the cashier, who has been patiently waiting for me to place my breakfast order.

I look at the girl behind the counter. She's giving me a look of concern, masked by a polite smile. Shit, she probably thinks I'm in the middle of a mental event.

I cringe at myself internally before I give the poor girl my order. After I pay for my meal, I follow T.J. to an open area near the pick-up counter, where we'll wait until our food is ready.

T.J. leans against the wall as his arms cross in front of him. He's still eyeing me cautiously. "Are you okay, dude? You seem really out of it this morning?"

Fuck, way to be obvious, Liam!

I let out a muffled groan as I run both hands down my face. "I honestly don't know."

T.J.'s brows furrow as he asks, "Did something happen last night? You and Mel seemed pretty eager to get home after the game. Is that what's bugging you?"

Damn, he's more observant than I give him credit for.

I hesitate, thinking about how to answer his question. My silence causes him to add, "Hey, if you don't want to talk about it, I get it. It's none of my business. I'm just trying to help if you feel you need to talk to someone or unload anything."

That's one way to put it.

I know I need to get this off my chest. It'll eat away at me if I don't, and I'll be worthless at practice. I look around the café, making sure there's no one else within earshot.

Taking a deep breath, I start to explain what's going through my head. "Last night, Mel and I almost..."

I let the words trail off, leaving T.J. to fill in the blank. Immediately, I know he's figured it out. I see his eyes widen as he leans closer. "Shit, really? You two finally did it?" He asks in a hushed voice.

Shaking my head, I correct him. "No. We almost did."

I let out a sigh before explaining what had happened. "She was giving me all the signs. Pushing herself closer, letting her hands wander. The green light was there, staring me right in the face. And..."

"And...?" T.J. pushes.

"And... I froze. I couldn't take the dive," I manage to grind out as the images surface in my mind. She was ready to go, and I let her down.

When T.J. doesn't reply, I bring my eyes to his. He looks confused, almost like he's trying to solve a complicated puzzle. I know the question he's refusing to ask.

Why did I freeze?

Hell, I think I know why, but I don't want to say it. I froze because I was afraid. If we took that leap, we couldn't take it back. She might end up regretting it or having a flashback of Justin. And the last time things got steamy between Mel and me, I almost lost her.

Just when T.J. starts to say something, I cut him off with the only explanation I have. "I'm a coward. I was afraid to mess things up with her. I choked, man."

I lean my head back against the wall, letting my eyes close, not wanting to see his reaction.

After a minute, he claps a hand on my shoulder, drawing my attention again. "Don't stress about it too much, dude. Just talk to her when we get back. Explain what happened, and let her know where you stand. I'm sure it'll all work out."

I nod my head, willing myself to believe his words. "Yeah, you're probably right. Since when did you become a couple's counselor?" I ask with a chuckle.

He laughs as he grabs our orders that just came up. "Life experience, man."

We head toward the door, taking our orders to go. "Life experience? How do you figure? Isn't Tay the only woman you've dated since high school? Or ever?"

He nods as an amused smile forms on his face. "Yeah. But do you know how many times I almost blew things with her before I got it right?"

I always forget that those two formed a relationship long before any of us knew about it. Tay tried so hard to convince everyone that she couldn't stand him just so we wouldn't suspect the truth.

As we make our way to the complex, I decide to ask, "What's the worst thing you did?"

He smirks before saying, "You mean, besides being an arrogant douche?"

I laugh as he starts thinking of an answer. "Hmmm..."

T.J. shakes his head as a memory hits him. "One time, back when I was staying with you guys because of my apartment situation, I kind of cornered her in the kitchen and accused her of sleeping with you."

I stopped in my steps. "You did what?"

He stops next to me, grimacing at the memory. "Yeah. It was before I knew she was your other roommate. I told her I saw her come out of your room that morning and made some comment about her claiming she didn't sleep with the guys on the team."

I felt my jaw drop. Holy shit!

When I gathered myself, I replied, "Dude, you're lucky she didn't kick your ass for that."

T.J. chuckled. "I know, man. She's a spitfire. She quickly corrected me and made me want to eat my words. But after that, I thought I'd lost any chance I'd ever have with her."

I shook my head, starting to feel a little better about my situation. "Wow."

That's when I remembered something. "Wait! Is that why you were in such a piss poor mood at practice and jumped down mine and Chase's throats about not telling you Tay was our roommate?"

T.J.'s head bobbed up and down. "Yep."

My eyes widened as events from that time started to make sense finally. He and Tay were acting so weird. They barely spoke and avoided each other most of the time- until we got back from Upstate. After that, they still acted strangely, but the tension between them was definitely different.

"Damn," I said, mostly to myself.

T.J. laughed as he clapped my shoulder again. "See. Compared to that mess, your situation doesn't seem so bad now. Does it?"

I felt a half-smile form as my tension started to lift. "I guess not."

Maybe T.J. was right. There are far worse situations I could be in right now. The worst part of mine is that Mel might be mad at me right now for leaving her hanging last night.

If that's the case, I think there's something I can do to earn her forgiveness. My smile deepens as a plan starts forming in my head.