Forever and Always

Chapter 15: Deep Decitions

~Rachael~

You know that feeling when you're stuck between dreaming and waking up, and you can remember the dream to every detail, but you aren't in it anymore? Well I'm stuck in that place, except I can't remember. I think I will always be in that place until I do remember. Walking around knowing that something had happened to me, but not knowing what.

Now, here I am holding the answers, contained in a fat pink book. All the things I would ever want to know about myself is in my hands and all I can do is stare at it.

I know all the answers are here because I love writing. A lot. I write about everything from what I ate for breakfast to my feelings. Everything. So this journal must be mine.

I stroked the binding. It was smooth and cold. Like it was in a dry, cold cave for a long time.

I kept repeating all of what Nico had said over and over again. And that name. The name of the spirit Nico had talked to? Yeah. Every time I heard the name Jeremy Calvin I wanted to cry. It's kind of weird. Like, I thought I knew a Jeremy Calvin before I came to camp, then I didn't know one and I was hallucinating. And now, when I think of Jeremy Calvin, I know he is dead. And I have a feeling it's my fault.

I know, but I don't know. It's like, I know I have a past life full of tragedies, but I don't remember it at all. I know of Jeremy Calvin, but I don't know what he means to me, or what we had. I just don't know.

I hadn't gone to the oracle. Not yet anyways. I needed time to think about who I am. Heck, is Rachael even my name? Every thought is doubted every action is questioned.

I was staring out at the bay, with my bare feet sunk into the sand. The waves washed up on me, like a nudge of reassurance, just letting me know that everything is happening for a reason.

I breathed a sigh of anger, frustration, and fear all rolled into one. I wanted to cry, but I wasn't sad. I wanted to laugh, but I wasn't happy.

I felt a hot breath to my right shoulder. I looked over so see Susan, looking out at the bay with me.

"Where did you come from."

"I've been here the whole time. What are friends for? To be with you when you need them most." She replied, looking at me with her soft hazel eyes. They told me everything. She was true and would forever be my friend. It didn't matter I met her only a few weeks ago, time doesn't matter. Effort does.

"Thank you." I gave her a smile. She had no idea how thankful I was for her friendship. I knew I could tell her anything. Anything. Just like I write everything in my journal.

"No problemo amego"

"I'm dead." I just decided to come right out with it.

"Uh...what?"

I proceeded to tell her about my entire life, she listed to every word. She didn't even break eye contact. She is great.

" Now, I have all the answers right here," I pointed at the journal " and I don't know if I want to know them."

"Woah," she breathed. "Can I tell you something?"

"Sure." I said, not really knowing where this was going.

"If it were me? Yeah, I would already have ripped open the cover of that thing and had won the national speed reading competition with that. But you. You are different like that. You seem like the person to not want to know. Like, you don't want to know because you think everything would come crashing down on you and you would never be able to be yourself again. You would have a split personality or something. So if I was YOU, not me having a journal, but YOU having the journal. I would wait until necessary." She finished.

I looked at her. I had a new level of respect for this Apollo child. Like, she should become the oracle.

I reached over and threw my arms around her. She wasn't pressuring me to open it, or going crazy about the reasons I shouldn't open it. She was just showing me that it was my book, and that she had empathy on the greatest of levels. And I loved it.

"Hugs are GREAT!" She hugged me back tighter than ever.

I broke the hug and stood up. She gave me a reassuring nod and I started looking for Rachel. The oracle.

I found her sitting on the statue in the Hera cabin. That is a creepy place, but Rachel seemed to like it.

"Chiron said you would be coming" Rachel said softly "but I just don't know."

"Know about what?" This oracle thing man

"I don't know if the oracle will speak th--" she stopped talking.

Rachel stood up, dropping her crocheting, and turned around. Her eyes were green. I waited. Heck, I even sat down. I stared up at her, she walked towards me slowly.

She stared down at my criss-cross-Apple-sauce position. She spoke.

The daughter of war,
The son of the dead,
The daughter of the future,
And the thief.
You will go across the uncharted waters,
Where the whispers lie in sleep,
To destroy.
Only them will the Lethe be lifted from the minds of old,
Only then will he be bold,
Only then, will the whispers cease to exist.
But be aware of the traitor. Be wary of the weak minds of men. Know that it is not their fault.

Rachel finished and collapsed onto the ground. I jumped to my feet and ran to her side. She groggily say up "throuh me."

"Can I give you some advice?" I asked lightly, helping her up.

"Yeah sure." She smiled.

"Never ever, even in the slightest, doubt the oracle inside you."

"I guess it worked." She chuckled.

"You have no idea."

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Okay people! Hope you enjoyed this CHAPTAR! I'm quite happy with it. LOVE U GUYS. PEACE!
Leo: Peace?
Me: yea. Peace.
Leo: no. Just....no
Me: h-
Poseidon: either one of you guys seen Percy? Like where'd he go?
Me: right?! Idek man.
Poseidon: boys. Good gracious.
SUSAN: *iceskates her way into room carrying a basket of potato models*
Hey, seaweed king, wanna make out? *winks*