Wings Of Despair - Book 2

Chapter 15

A couple of days passed, it was early in the morning. Yuta and Greg packed all their belongings and escorted themselves out their motel room – Greg smuggling the first aid kit under the clothes in his bag. As Greg handed their room key over, Yuta kept glancing towards the tablet in her shoulder bag nervously. She hoped James would find the damn Negative Emotion soon, she was becoming antsy.

Once they left the building, Greg huffed. "Man, we really need to get some better bags. My back is killing me."

Greg didn't get a gullible response he expected from Yuta.

"You know, its almost like its actually killing me... Like a murderer stabbing me in the back...?"

He was met with a quiet chuckle, but nothing more.

"Yuta..." He didn't know how to start, so he went the easy route. "Are- Are you okay?"

Yuta swallowed, then smiled back. It wasn't her contagious, signature, toothy smile Greg grew to love. "You don't have to worry about me, I'm alright."

Greg was sceptical, though gave her space. "...If you say so."

"That's it? She's not okay and you're going to push it aside like it's nothing? What is it with you people and bottling shit inside? It's like you want to die or something!" The voice rudely piped in, wanting to confront Greg about his unhealthy way of coping.

Greg wanted to scoff. 'I will talk to her! We gotta find a place to stay first-'

"Fuck finding a place, Yuta's health is on the line! What, you gonna find a deathbed for her when she's on the verge of dying whilst you're at it?!"

"NO!"

Yuta flinched.

"L-Let's just find a place to stay..." Greg answered to both Yuta and the voice, as he coughed lightly.

The air felt thick, as the pair were dead silent. Ten minutes passed.

"I... I might have gone a bit overboard with what I said before."

'Really? I couldn't tell.' Greg rolled his eyes and scoffed – he didn't miss the way Yuta side eyed him nervously.

"I forgot how sensitive the topic death is for you..." Regret was evident in its voice. "I apologise."

'It's fine, I guess. I need to stop overreacting over stuff like that, anyway.'

"Don't, you have every right to feel that way. Just don't reflect that feeling onto others, okay?"

Greg slightly nodded. 'Of course.'

"Hey, Yuta?"

A hum. An acknowledgement.

"I'm sorry for my sudden outburst-"

In a blink of an eye, Yuta grabbed Greg's shoulders in a death grip as she gazed into his soul.

"Please, please, stop apologising for shit that doesn't matter. You're almost making the word lose it's purpose." Yuta hushed, anxiety evident in her voice.

Greg gulped, as Yuta realised how hard her fingers dug into his shoulders. She let go and brushed her palms against her sides awkwardly.

"It seems like we're both on edge, we need a breather from everything. Lets just find somewhere shaded and settle there. My Warrior job shouldn't be long now, it'd be a waste of time to try and book another place."

Greg blinked for a couple of seconds, but agreed – it caught him off guard how mature-like Yuta sounded, she was almost a different person. They found an abandoned bus stop, as they sat down and placed the bags under the seat. The sun was a quarter of the way up, though it was covered by the light, overcast sky. The pair lent back against the wall, the pair each sharing their respected sighs and exhaustion.

Greg decided now was the best time to talk. "Are you alright?"

Yuta kept silent, wondering if she should burden him. She decided to spare him the trouble and keep it vague. "Not really, guess its just my sudden need to cope."

"With what?" Greg spluttered out. "Oh, sorry- I mean, I didn't mean to blurt that out."

Yuta huffed through her nose, as she tucked her knees against herself to ease the buzzing pain within her stomach. "Its fine. What about you? Seems like you're not okay as well. Wanna talk about that?"

"I don't know how to explain it, so no."

"Pussy."

"That's okay. We all have our troubles."

Greg slightly scooted closer to Yuta's side, her doing the same once she noticed. The pair then laid against each other and glanced towards the sky.

"Do..." Greg wasn't sure how to start the previous conversation again. "Do you want to talk about it? The 'needing to cope' part, that is."

There was a bit of silence before she answered. "Ak- I-..." Yuta choked up, then swallowed the huge lump stuck in her throat.

Greg placed his palm onto Yuta's. He gave it a gentle squeeze, a subtle nudge that she had all the time in the world to tell him.

Yuta glanced towards Greg, then inhaled. She felt like she was going to explode, plus she wanted to help Greg open up as well. She hoped she wouldn't regret this.

"I'm just- I don't understand these feelings I'm currently having. They showed up when I first saw Aki like, um, that." It was evident Yuta was uncomfortable at the mere thought of her lifeless sister – Greg didn't blame her. "She didn't deserve to be taken away so quickly, both at birth and now. We always dreamt about living our new profound lives together, of course giving each other the needed space. I... just didn't expect to see her like that anytime soon, or at all."

Greg gave an encouraging nod, as he rubbed his thumb on her palm.

"I know she's in Heaven, and I know she's safe. It just makes me feel uneasy? No... sorrow? That she never got to experience life to its fullest while I'm still here alive, it makes me feel selfish."

"But-"

"I know I'm not. You don't have to lecture me about that." Yuta cut Greg off. "But no matter how much I tell myself it's not the case, those thoughts still linger. You know?"

Greg understood that too well. "...Yeah."

"Well, there's this new feeling now – it doesn't help that it mixes with my abdominal pain – where I'm almost angry. I don't know why. Am I mad at God? At myself?" Yuta shrugged it off. "All I know is that I feel like beating something up and letting out that pent up anger."

Greg didn't know how to react. It was evident she was going through grief beforehand, but it seemed to fully daunt on him now. A deep pit formed in his stomach, he knew how that felt – even if said feelings were almost a blur.

"I understand. I don't really have any good advice at the moment though, sorry- I mean... yeah." Now he realised how much he apologises in his sentences.

"That's okay, I don't expect you to fix all of my problems. I'm just glad you're here listening to me, even if I feel a bit bad burdening you."

"Don't worry about it. It kinda makes me feel justified with some of the emotions I experienced when my parents first passed away. It's been almost similar so far, except for wanting to beat the shit out of someone." Greg snickered lowly.

Yuta shared the same laugh. "I want to beat something up, not someone. That'd defeat the whole purpose of my job as a Warrior, unless something provokes me into doing so. I meant like beating a boulder with my Lance or just punching a leaf."

Greg let out a laugh similar to a shriek. "A leaf? A singular leaf?! What are you, some kind of leaf hater?"

"Would you rather me punch a tree whilst I was blinded by rage and break my entire hand?" Yuta genuinely inquired, though with an amused intent.

Greg was glad he was making her feel better. "Of course not, your answer just caught me off guard."

The pair kept sharing small banter amongst themselves, giggling and having their fair share of Vegemite sandwiches for lunch.