Ironic (Discontinued)

Sarcasm And Firewhiskey

Previously:
"I HAD A NIECE AND I DIDN'T KNOW?!" Someone screeched.

That sounded a lot like...

.•._.•._.•._.•._.•._.•._.•._.•._.•._.•._.•.

"Bella would you shut up? Please? A lot of us didn't know she was our family! And others, actually didn't get to meet her cause they bloody died before she was born! 2 months!! I died 2 months before she was born!!Stupid inferi." Someone else told her.

Wait...

Inferi?

R.A.B

"That's your fault for trying to get the locket." Bellatrix told him.

"Woah woah woah! Hold up! Who is everyone? Cause remember that some of you guys died before you met me! Or I met you and you were trying to kill me!" Harriet tried to get everyone's attention.

"Right. Black Family stand to one corner.
Founders stand at the door.
Peverell family and Potter family stand to another corner.
Merlin and Morgana stand with the founders.
The rest of yous, sort it out." Death tried to get it all done.

Wait...

Did he say founders?
And Merlin?
And Morgana?

Everything was all too much for the girl as she fell back into the armchair that she was sitting in before all this madness happened.

A few people ran to her aid.

One of them being Salazar Slytherin.
Another, Rowena Ravenclaw.
Another, Walburga Black.
And another, Helga Hufflepuff
And another, Godric Gryffindor.

Harriet was freaking out.
Badly.

She has so many family members, yet all of them are dead, or tried to kill her when she was alive.

"You alright kid?"
"Don't call her a kid. She's a woman."
"Yeah, a powerful woman."
"Yeah Godric, don't be mean to the Lady."
"Oh shut up with your teasing Salazar. Kid? You good?"

Harriet couldn't handle it.

She closed her eyes and was taking deep breaths trying to calm herself down.

"Does anyone have coffee? Or firewhiskey?? I'm more for the firewhiskey." Harriet asked no one in particular.

She heard a few chuckles and a few laughs.

"She's definitely your descendant Rowena." She heard another female voice from before.

She opened her eyes to see the founders kneeling in front of her or standing next to her.

"Oh shut up Helga." Rowena snapped back at her.

"Kid?"

"Hm?" Harriet was so out of it.

She wasn't focused on anything. Just looking around the room.

"You good?" The same man, Godric Gryffindor, in his house colours, asked her.

"Oh yeah. Definitely. I just found out I have a load of people who are related to me. Some tried to kill me. Some I didn't get to meet because they died before I was born or before I could meet them. And I'm sitting in front of the founders of Hogwarts and just found out I'm the Mistress of death. I'm perfectly fine."

"She gets the sarcasm from you, Salazar." Helga said with a smirk.

"Good. You can never have too much sarcasm in a world full of idiots." Salazar replied.

"Mortem? Before everything gets over the top, please explain everything so I can go back and kill Dumbledic- I mean. Dumbledore." Harriet stuttered with a smirk as she knew everyone caught what she said.

Bellatrix cackled.
Lily tried to hold in her laugh but it didn't work. She burst out laughing.
James and Sirius were rolling in the ground.
The founders were smirking.
The boy who looks like Sirius was laughing with a few tears coming out of his eyes.
Mortem was trying to look disapproving but the smile on his face said otherwise.

"Okay. Quickly. So you can start on this long journey.
Dumbledore manipulated you from the start.
You'll find some crucial information at Gringotts. Just ask for an inheritance paper.
Try and put Dumbledore into the spotlight so you can show his secrets to the public.
Read the prophecy. Nothing is as it seems.
When you get back to under the stairs, you'll be on the day you went to the zoo for Dudley's birthday.
You'll tell Petunia where you're going and tell her you're not going to come back, that you found family that is going to take you in so they don't have to care for you. Yes?"

"Got it. When am I going?"
Harriet wanted to stay with her family, but didn't at the same time.

She wanted to get to know those who she didn't meet and those who were trying to kill her unaware that they were related.

But she didn't want to, as she felt she will get too attached and won't go. She didn't want to because it would overwhelm her that all her family would be here, whilst she was there.

"Now if you wish. Oh, and 1 more thing. You're taking someone back with you. Aka my favourite Black.
Regulus sort your shit out! You're going to the land of the living!"

Sirius was whining.
"How come he's the favourite Black?? And how come he gets to go back! I should get to go back!"

"1. He doesn't acts like a dog.
2. You're already in the land of the living where I'm sending my Mistress.
3. He's my favourite Black and I have no reasons. He just is." Death answered.

"Why won't you let one of us go though?" James asked gesturing to Lily and Himself.

"That would be suspicious. My dead parents are somehow alive taking care of me, when Minnie, Hagrid, and Dumbledore know I was meant to be at the Dursleys. Don't you think that people would think you death eaters under a polyjuice potion?"
Hazel calmly told them.

"Ohhhhhhhhhh...Reggie. You take care of her."

Regulus was happy he got to go back to the land of the living as it meant he would get to spend time with his niece but also get to live his life.

With a skip in his step, Regulus walked up to where his niece is along with the founders.

"You ready to go??" Regulus asked looking smug at Sirius but the question was directed at the girl.

"I guess. Where are we going to meet? I assume you're going to be sent back to where ever you were when you died." The girl asked her uncle.

"Outside of Gringotts. The Leaky Cauldron will be full of people and they like to listen to other peoples conversations." Regulus replied.

And with that, the two looked at everyone, then everything went black.