The Beautiful and the Faultless | Cami O'Connell

Chapter 12

Ingrid was ready to cry.

Not because they'd started talking. But because she knew that when they did, she was going to break down.

"Today, I want to start by mentioning a common treatment that most of these disorders have in common," said Cami once they were seated by the window in Ingrid's armchairs. Irene had chosen to settle on Cami's lap, purring while the psychologist caressed the back of her neck. "Cognitive Behavioral Therapy. Have you heard of it?"

She assented. "Finn mentioned it, but he didn't go into detail about what it is."

"It is meant to help you with your problems by changing the way you think and behave. One part that I think might help you is keeping a diary or journal of your thoughts, while I assign you homework that can help you confront your fears or recognize unhealthy patterns in your life."

Ingrid frowned, not sure if she understood. "For example," said Cami, "if you're nervous about being in large crowds, I'd assign you to attend a jazz festival with a friend. You'd be exposed directly to the root of your anxiety, and in a positive environment with a friend, it could help you feel better about that situation."

"Okay," murmured Ingrid. "And is that... a requirement?"

"It depends. Depending on what we discuss today, the memories that are brought up, I might not assign you homework. At future sessions, it's also a maybe. Sometimes you just need to vent about everything and it'll help you recognize problems right away, which will allow you to feel better about situations without CBT. In your case, it'll be a learn-as-we-go kind of approach to see what will meet your needs best. Anything you want to say before we get started?"

Ingrid shook her head.

Cami shuffled her notes. "I want to talk to you first about Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder, commonly known as PTSD. Are you familiar with it?"

"Yes," said Ingrid. "I read that section... there are a lot of different diagnostic criterias for that."

"Yes, there are. In your case, for section a to determine what you experienced, I have noted that you directly experienced a great deal many things, witnessed others, and heard of them from people you knew. The most general term for what I think you might have PTSD for is death. You experienced death. Witnessed it when Freya and her son died. You were made to kill many people, and you gave your life to kill Dahlia. Are there any specific deaths you want to add to the list, so that we may talk about them all in detail?"

Ingrid squirmed a bit uncomfortably. "Um... a few. Most of the murders kind of blurred together but one sticks out. Aiden."

Cami noted that. "Freya mentioned you spoke with Josh. Do you feel better after the fact?"

She assented. "Yeah, I do. I think we're friends now. Irene likes him. But then again," she gestured at the cat, who was now showing Cami her spotted belly, "she seems to like everyone. Um... I was nervous when he approached me. I tried to duck away, I didn't feel like talking about what happened because I felt so guilty. But Marcel kind of made me speak to him, and it went well."

"Do you normally extend to avoid discussion of all these memories and events?"

"I guess so. I don't like to talk about it because I get distressed."

Cami scribbled onto her notepad, causing Irene to start gnawing at the edges of the papers. "Is there anything more you'd like to say about Aiden's death?"

She shook her head. "I think that one was worked through, mostly. Getting to talk to Josh about it... getting to tell him my side of it... it helped a lot. I feel more at peace. And I told him that when I get my powers back, I'll bring Aiden back to life."