THIRTY-SIX

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-MAISIE-

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-MAISIE-

MY ALARM HAS me out of the bed at three in the morning.

Since Mom isn't here, I have decided to take on the task of screaming my birthday brothers awake at the exact hour they came into the world.

Just like Mom always did. Or had done before losing a child and almost forgetting she still had other five.

I swallow the ache in my heart, willing it to vanish for a day only. Then, I follow the stairs up to the fourth floor, where the bedroom of my three oldest brothers is.

When the clock strikes three o two, I push Logan's door open. I have a sing song tone to my voice as I smile, "Rise and shi—"

But then my throat closes. I find myself frozen in place.

My brother is already sitting on his bed, eyes wide and chest heaving. He doesn't look at me, pupils fixed at no particular place. And when I force myself to step closer, he doesn't even appear to notice my presence.

His breathing quickens, his body shivers.

"Lo?" I mutter, brows furrowing. "What is wrong?"

His head moves from one side to the other. Through his lips, a mumbling comes out. I have to pay very close attention to make sense of his words. Or word, to be more precise.

"Isla," he says. Again and again and again.

When he stares at the darkness outside of his window. Isla. When he looks ahead, to the nothingness. Isla. When he glances at me, eyes void of any light. Isla.

It is like a slap on my cheek. I lose balance for a moment or two. Only when I taste salt is that I realize I am crying.

He is crying too. And then his legs are trashing against the mattress, tangling on the sheets.

"Logan?" I find my voice again. He only trashes more, whole body now. "Logan!" I think I scream. "Logan, stop."

But he doesn't and I am so scared to get anywhere closer. Tears turn my cheeks into rivers. Instinct flares inside of me and I run for help.

I go through the bathroom the twins share in a Jack-and-Jill style. The door that leads to Brody's room is locked. I try it three times but it doesn't budge. Behind me, I can hear Logan's painful groans. It is as if something is ripping him inside out.

My feet are fast. I move to the dark hallway. Brody's bedroom door is locked too. I want to bash it down but I don't have time for it. I move to Al's next.

Barging into his room, I find my oldest brother and Maya sleeping peacefully. He is stomach up, breath steady. She has her arm thrown over his chest, head resting on his shoulder.

I run to Alasdair, shaking his arm.

"Al," I beg. "Al!"

"Wha—" He blinks. "Maisie?" And then he quickly sits up. "Mae, hey. What is wrong?"

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