Amaguuji Oneshots

♡ 𝖫𝗂𝗏𝗂𝗇𝗀 𝖫𝗂𝖿𝖾 𝗂𝗇 𝗍𝗁𝖾 𝖭𝗂𝗀𝗁𝗍 ♡ - 💔

TW: M1y@d3r@ Shinguuji, Self Harm, Suicidal Thoughts/Suicide Attempt

Amami was asleep next to Shinguuji. He was cuddled into his chest, face calm and innocent as if the thoughts circling the others head could never exist in a world like his. Shinguuji was thirsty and hungry, but ignored what he could. Sister was angry. He could feel it. She was so angry at him, and yet she didn't lash out. Her silence scared him, if anything.

Shinguuji gently placed Rantaro onto the pillow, removing himself from the bed. He opened his drawer next to the bed and pulled out a fresh pair of underwear and put them on. Both of their clothes were discarded on the bedroom floor, and that was just the first clue as to what happened between them.

Shinguuji was stupid. Amami was intoxicated, and he thought it was acceptable to take advantage of him like that. Shinguuji grabbed a pair of sweatpants - to at least have a little bit of decency if Amami woke up - and made his way out of his bedroom, glancing back at the sleeping boy for only moment before descending the stairs as quietly as possible.

He walked into the kitchen, and poured himself a glass of water. He didn't drink it, just left it sitting in his hand and stared blankly at a wall.

"You're disgraceful, I hope you know that?"

"I do, Sister. Believe me, I know how disgraceful I am..."

"Sleeping with a man? Let alone your best friend, while he's intoxicated! Do you not love me, anymore? Did you forget how much I've done for you? How much I do for you? Was all of that nothing to you?"

"No, Sister! I do love you! I didn't mean to sleep with him, I swear! I-"

"You don't regret it though! Do you, Korekiyo? You don't regret it at all! You don't regret the sex, your just ashamed that he was intoxicated! Aren't you?"

"..."

"Disgraceful. I am so disappointed in you, I hope you know that. You are nothing but a traitor, to me and to him. Did I not raise you better than this? Did I not tell you, that you were to only love me because I was the only one who would ever love you? And yet, you go falling for someone's charms and lies, a man's charms and lies, at that! You are nothing but a failure."

"Sister, I apologise, please! Sister, you must believe me, I still love you! I only love you, Sister!"

Silence. It was deafening. Shinguuji couldn't hear her voice anymore, nor feel her presence. He tried calling out for her again, but she never responded. All he could feel was guilt. All of those years of her looking after him in her poor health, and this is how he repays her? She was right, he was disgraceful, a disappointment, a traitor. He was a horrible little brother, the worst. What brother betrayed his own sister?

The glass had fallen long ago, spilling water all over the floor. The glass was shattered and spread underneath him, some even stuck in his feet. It was horrible. He felt so guilty, so ashamed. He was frozen in place, feet unable to move. He was stuttering absolute nonsense in an effort to get her to respond. He apologised over and over for what felt like hours.

His eyes were darting around the room, trying to find her. His eyes landed on something shiny. The light from the moon reflected off it, making it stick out like a sore thumb in Shinguuji's dark kitchen. Immediately he ran towards it, ignoring all the glass shards he was stepping on. He ignored the pain.

He picked the knife up and immediately felt Sister's presence.

"Do it, sweet Korekiyo. You deserve it, for hurting him, for hurting me. You hurt us, so it is only right that you should hurt."

Her tone was kind and soft now, gently coaxing him into harming himself. He stared at the knife, turning it around in his finger. The blade was too thick, he'd need it to be thinner in order to draw blood. He dropped the knife, searching for a better one. He realised how absurd this would look to someone else, but it didn't matter. They wouldn't care, not like she would. He found the right one.

The blade was thin and sharp, as well as long. He pushed it against his skin, with no thought. Did it matter? No. Did anyone care? No. Is Sister the only one who loves him? Yes. Has he been horrible to her, betraying her like this? Yes. Does he deserve to die?

Yes.

He doesn't remember how long he was doing it for, but every inch of visible skin was seeping with pink blood. He was dizzy. He couldn't understand how he was still standing up, but it didn't matter. He felt himself get lightheaded, and took a minute to focus. He slid down to the floor because standing up was getting more difficult.

Was that a scream? He heard something. It was probably a cat getting run over by a car outside. Poor cat, maybe he'd see it in the afterlife.

He felt warm arms around him. Was it Sister? Yes, it must be. He didn't deserve her embrace, her kindness. He hurt her, like the disgrace he is. She didn't have to love him anymore. She should hate him. She should hate him like everyone else, forget him like everyone else. She should stop caring for him like everyone else. He doesn't deserve to be cared about. It's why no one cares for him. No one cares about him-

"Please don't die, Kiyo... I care about you..."