Breaking Vows • LT

2 || Bakit

"What are you wearing?" Liam asked with a laugh, his eyes turning into slits as he tried his best not to guffaw right in his friend's face. "I did tell you I was inviting the boys - not the parish priests!"

Louis frowned and looked down at his attire. He was wearing one of the two long-sleeved shirts he reserved for special occasions with a pair of black slacks and black leather shoes. "What's wrong with it?" he asked casually, tugging on his neckline. Fine, it was probably a bad idea to semi-formally dress up (especially in this hot weather), but he couldn't help it. Being around teenagers was different. They were probably expecting someone really wise, someone who looked accomplished--

The sound of Liam's laughter almost made the frown on Louis' face deepen. Brushing imaginary dirt from his shoulder, he shrugged. "I figured you'd be relieved I wasn't wearing my muscle-tees." He was obviously overthinking this, but he won't let Liam know that.

"Just take off your shirt, they're already here!" Liam exclaimed, quickly forgetting why he was teasing Louis for looking like a businessman rather than the resident cool bloke of the orphanage. He went out the door and greeted them loudly, "OY, OY, OY! Guys, bakit late!?"

Bakit, Louis thought in his head, that word meant "why". He could hear the group chattering lively, giving their "Kuya" (older brother) excuses as to why they took so long to get here. It amazed Louis how "Kuya" Liam was ever so naturally conversing with them with bits and pieces of Filipino words and phrases. That was part of Liam's charm -- his complete devotion and genuine happiness in literally everything he did. The guy was always so full of energy, so grounded that Louis wondered how Liam's kids would see him -- all prim and proper-like. And perspiring.

Beads of sweat dripping down his temples, Louis asked himself bakit. Bakit am I wearing this shirt again? Laughing at his foolishness and the pit stains forming on his "special occasion shirt", Louis cleared his throat and decided against changing.

The young boys out there needed to see that Louis was here on business -- not on vacation. He snickered as he watched Liam -- who donned one of his many trucker caps and a plain t-shirt, thinking that his brother in the faith was probably envious he had the opportunity to look so classy in the mini event. Well, that's what Louis told himself. Besides, wearing this would make the teenagers feel like Louis took his time to prepare for them. He had something to say, didn't he? And he wanted and needed them to listen.

If there was one thing he learned in his own ministry back home, To The One Direction, was that teenagers who were lost in the faith didn't just need a big brother or a dependable friend. They needed someone stable in their life, a figure of authority who sought not only their friendship and company, but someone who also cared about their well-being, their future, and most especially, for them to understand God's will in their lives.

And with that, a well-dressed Louis smiled confidently, and stepped out to greet the waiting crowd.

_ _ _ _ _ _ _

Louis knew he was on the right path.

After speaking to the group, albeit very slowly to make sure they understood what he was saying (Liam told him most of them understood basic English), despite his shaky hands (he always did this thing where he would touch his chest you'd think he was singing in a concert or something, and whenever he would realize he was doing it, he would fumble with his words), he actually managed to make the group laugh a few times. He didn't know how he did it, he just did. He was quick to thank God, of course, because it was lost on him how he -- despite not sharing any cultural background with them, had crossed language barriers within a few minutes. He felt like he had gained their trust, and that was more than enough. Even Liam gave him a big hug and a warm smile of gratitude before their group returned to their church.

A few minutes after Liam's group left, Louis noticed a huge white van parked in front of the orphanage gates. Manang Mila was already out of the office then, fluttering about like the mother hen she was, and informed him that another group of visitors were waiting there to meet the kids.

That was his cue to leave. "Meet & Greet" sessions meant the visitors would be the one taking care of the little children. Manang Mila, however, with one of the resident midwives of the group, would remain on the multi-purpose hall to help facilitate whatever event the guests had in mind for the day.

So now Louis was walking into the bushy unkept gardens behind the orphanage, slightly eager to get to his place -- a little spring that was surrounded by a rainbow of wild flowers. It was where he liked to pray and meditate whenever he had time to himself. He even did a little carpentry to place a small bench for two there, making it the perfect place to sit and relax when he was exhausted from all the day's work.

The orphanage behind him, Louis could already here children's music playing out loud. He sincerely hoped the kids would have fun -- some of those little tykes took their sweet time before warming up to strangers. Before sitting on his bench, he gazed at the spring, then at the soft orange hue of the vast sky. Taking a deep breath, he exhaled slowly, feeling the post-tension of speaking in front of a new crowd finally dissipating from his body.

Louis was at peace, and he relished in it. Because everything made sense to him. Not all men were blessed as he was, to see things so clearly, to be enlightened -- to find purpose. It was as if God himself had shown him his path. Father Gregory was right; Louis had to remove himself from his comfort zone and find his own voice in this drowning world. It was always refreshing to acknowledge the fact that with each day he spent here, the more he realised that he belonged to Him. Seeing the world in a different light -- far away from Doncaster, it gave him a different kind of inspiration to push forward towards his calling. No doubt that he would be able to preach to the younger crowd with more conviction, more hope, and more love. Who knows, maybe one day, he can bring his kids here?

It would be nice to return to the Philippines after being ordained as a priest. He would return to Rehoboth Village and when they finally call him "Father Louis", he could finally answer with a confident smile on his face, yes. Yes, I am--

"Father Louis?"

"It's not Father Louis ye--" Yet, he snapped in his head as he turned around, all thoughts about enlightenment suddenly forgotten. The world came to a complete stop as he laid eyes on a woman he had never seen before, her breathtaking visage enveloped in the beautiful sunset glow.

Was this the faerie the old people were talking about, the "diwata"? When she asked him a question, all he could do was stare at the way the sunlight had struck her light brown eyes, giving her seemingly gentle eyes a fiery glaze. And when the mountain breeze had danced in their midst to ruffle her hair, Louis felt like tugging on the collar of his shirt for he feared he was short of breath.

Dying.

She spoke to him, asked him something, her voice taking its sweet time to cross the grassy space between them, and once it reached his ears, Louis felt something inside him collapse. And one question resounded in his brain, repeating over and over again, rewinding and playing with his distinct Yorkshire accent...

Bakit, Lord?