Faking Feelings (Muke)

Ch. 30 - Our Angels

"Mum, I'm okay, I promise! Just a few stitches"

"And what about-"

"I don't want to talk about him."

"I'm sorry..."

"Uh, Ashton's mum is going to drop Ashton & I off soon, we are just talking to Michael's mum"

"Okay, sweetie! I'll see you soon, I love you!"

"I love you"

"As I was saying" Karen says once I hang up, "Michael isn't doing too well, but the doctors are sure they can help him".

"I hope so" I choke out, looking over to Ashton, who was crying on his mother's shoulder.

"I should let you guys go now" she sighs, "You're coming to see Michael tomorrow?".

"Yeah, I'll be here" I nod slowly, "I'll see you then".

"See you then" she says, giving me a quick hug before letting me leave.

Ashton & I had both hesitated to get in the car when we went to leave, our hands automatically reaching up to touch the stitches on our foreheads. We eventually got in the back of the car and snuggled up together.

It ended up taking an hour and a half to get to my house, for two reasons; one, we went to Ashton's house so he could pack an overnight bag, and two, traffic sucks.

When my mum opens the door for us, the look on her face looks sympathetic and upset, and it terrifies me because I have the feeling it's not because of the cuts on our foreheads or because of Calum.

"What?" I ask her in confusion, hoping she's not going to say what I fear she is.

"Honey, I'm so sorry" she apologises, and I suddenly notice she's been crying.

"What?!" I ask again, getting frustrated, "What's wrong?!".

"It's about Michael" she says nervously.

"What about him?!" Ashton & I ask together, giving each other a worried look before looking back at my mum.

Mum bites her lip as if she's trying not to cry, she shakes her head slightly and says "He passed away".

"No" Ashton sobs, falling to his knees and dropping his head in his hands.

"What?! No, he can't of, we just saw him today, before the accident" I say in disbelief, though my heart is breaking already, "We were just talking to his mum, she said he was going to be okay".

Mum just shakes her head, tears slipping from her eyes, "I didn't want to tell you, but his mother had called and she told me to tell the both of you".

A wave of anger and sadness washes over me and I slam my hands against the door. The bang startles Ashton and causes him to jump back to his feet. "Luke" he says softly.

"He can't be gone" I choke out as tears start to run down my cheeks.

"I'm sorry" mum apologises, already in tears.

I shake my head in frustration before grabbing Ashton's wrist and dragging him towards my room. "Leave us alone" I order before slamming the door shut.

"Luke" Ashton sniffs, "Are you okay?".

"Do I look okay?!" I snap at Ashton.

"M-Maybe she's lying" he stutters.

"She can't be, Ashton, she didn't know what had happened to Michael, nobody told her!" I tell him seriously, "She only just found out".

"Oh" is all Ashton manages to say in response.

I flop down on my bed, face first into a pillow and let the tears slip my eyes. I just want to be left alone... But at the same time, I just want to be left alone with Ashton.

I don't know if he knows this or not, but Ashton is all I have left now. Maybe he does know that though, because all of a sudden Ashton is snuggling himself up to me.

We don't speak. What would we even say? We both knew exactly how we felt, both knew what we were going through, why would we need to talk about it?

My brothers, Ben & Jack, came in later, telling us they were going to go get fish & chips for dinner and asked if we wanted some. We just told them to leave us alone, so they did.

They came back half an hour later with a plate of food for each of us. Every piece of food went cold hours ago, as we didn't even touch any of it.

The only time we got out of bed was to go to the bathroom, only to quickly return to the warm embrace of each other's arms.

All I've been able to think about for the past few hours is that the last thing I said to Michael was that I wasn't going to let him die.

I failed.