Faking Feelings (Muke)

Ch. 8 - My Best Friend, Ash.

'Ashton?' I scribble down on the notebook I had sitting in my lap.

"Yes?" Ashton asks curiously.

I'm at Ashton's house, half snuggled up to him while we watch movies- which is what we've been doing all day.

'I think I have a crush on someone...'

"Who?!" He asks excitedly.

'A guy..'

"I thought you were straight?" He says in confusion.

'Me too..'

"Who is it though?!" He asks, "Wait.. It's not Luke is it?!"

'.....'

"It's okay if it is, ya know? I don't mind" he tells me.

'But you hate him'

"No I don't, hate is a strong word... Calum & I may pick on him and call him a freak, but we don't hate him" he explains.

'You and the rest of the school pick on him'

"Sorry" he mumbles, "But is it him?".

'... Yes...'

"That's adorable" he smirks.

'Shut up'

"You're blushing!" He teases me.

'omg shut up!!!'

"Okay, okay!" He laughs.

'You know... I kind of... Wrote a song about him...'

"You did?!" Ashton asks in surprise, "Can I hear- sorry, read it?".

I nod and pull a folded up sheet of paper out of my pocket and hand it to him.

'I wrote it during English on Friday... I didn't know I had a crush on him then... Just that I was feeling these weird feelings towards him' I scribble down as he unfolds the sheet of paper.

"Voodoo Doll?" He reads the title. "Can I sing it?" He asks. I nod.

Ashton, in his oh-so-perfect voice, sings the song I wrote about Luke.

"It's really good" Ashton tells me with a smile once he finishes singing.

'Thanks... You know... I was kind of scared that you wouldn't like that I had a crush on Luke' I write down.

"Well, you had nothing to be scared about, Mike, your one of my best friends, I'll always support you" he says with a smile as he gives me a big hug.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Dear Stupid Diary,

So today, I found out that Ashton is actually okay with me liking Luke... And he told me Calum will be fine with it too!

I know I said I was scared about what the rest of the school thought, but Ashton pointed out that they don't have to know... He & Calum have been dating for three years and still nobody knows...

And my parents, I'll have to come out to them... But I'm not exactly afraid of doing that because when I used to get bullied about being 'gay', they always said that if I actually was gay, they would be happy about it... But I mean, at that age, I barely understood why people were picking on me for being gay, when I wasn't...

I still don't understand what their problem with me was, or their problem with gay people was... And they were just kids back then... And all that makes me think, now anyway, is that they must have horrible parents. (Offence actually intended to those horrible parents).

I was kind of bummed that I didn't get to see Luke today, and I think he was too, but I had already made plans to spend the day with Ashton, and he understood that and said he'd see me tomorrow at school anyway.

Anyway, I'm surprisingly tired, considering it's only 10:30pm, so I guess I should go get some sleep...

- Michael x