Only you

Chapter 10

Warning: homophobia and panic attack, skip the first half if u need to.

My bubble was fun. After that I did mehndi on a couple people I knew but it was mainly the bride's side. But my bubble had to burst eventually, and that happened when I saw my mother walking towards me.

She looked older, had a couple more wrinkles, some grey hairs, but other then that she still had the same poise and judgy figure, her and Meera were literal twins.

She gave me a dirty look before sliding into the seat in front of me, she didn't even look at me before pointing towards a design and closing the book, she put out her hand and just sat there looking at anything but me.

I wanted nothing more then to just reach out and hold her hand, I missed how her soft skin felt when she'd hug me, or held on to my hand, or when she'd put her hand on my cheek, I would give anything for her to just do that again.

I lightly touched her hand to put on the mehndi, it still felt the same, her hands felt so comforting, like home. The memories of me spending so many nights practicing on her while she was just so encouraging of everything I did, even if it was bad, flooded through my brain.

I just wanted to hear her voice, I wish she would just talk to me like before all this. Just if she'd look at me. I felt so tense, like at any moment she would just break and yell at me for the tiniest thing, just like she did before.

"Your doing it wrong." My mom said

There it was, her need to tell me something bad, but it felt nice, her voice was nice to hear, I just wish what she was saying was nice.

"I'm sorry." I whispered, I felt like that seventeen year old constantly trying to make her mom love her again.

"What? You need to speak up, I can't hear you." She said aggressively.

"I-I'm sorry." I said again, this time a little louder.

She hummed in response and kept watching me do the design on her hand.

We sat in silence for a couple moments before I spoke. "How have you been?"

"Don't ask me that, I don't consider you close enough to me to ask me that, you're just the lady doing my mehndi." She said angrily.

I wanted to cry, I knew she didn't consider me her daughter anymore but a part of me was so far in denial.

"I'm your daughter mama." I managed to say while my voice was breaking, I could feel the tears threatening to spill from my eyes.

"My daughter is dead." She said blankly.

"You don't mean that." I said quietly, tears were spilling from my eyes at this point.

"I do, you killed her." She replied.

"Please stop." I said, people had started to look by this point.

She got up before yelling, "Why should I! You should have never come here!"

"I didn't know." I replied, flinching from the loudness of her voice.

In the corner of my eye I could see my father coming over along with my siblings, all of them. The bride, Esha had also come over, she was the only one that had looked concerned.

"Stop harassing my mom!" My sister Khushi had yelled to me.

"I-I'm not, I swear." I felt more tears running down my face.

"What's going on?" Esha asked.

"You shouldn't have hired her Aman!" My mom yelled to my brother.

"Why?" Esha had asked, she looked so confused.