Ideal Type (Park Sunghoon)

chapter fifty-one

60k special? maybe. maybe not.

italic - thoughts

P.O.V

Sunghoon froze onto where he was sitting. He was just looking at Ira, still couldn't process what the girl just said.

"You meant... what you said?" Sunghoon mumbled, but still can be heard by Ira.

Ira swore that she shouldn't have said her thoughts out.

Everything will just go complicated now. She thought.

Even though it wouldn't really, she just wouldn't stop cursing herself mentally.

"I'll be getting coffee, do you both need anything?" Ira's manager suddenly asked the both of them after pulling over in front of a small café.

Sounds sudden, but the guy badly wanna give the two some privacy. He might be Ira's manager but he surely knows when to listen and not on the idols' conversation.

The two shook their heads as Ira's manager went out of the driver's seat.

It was pure silence after, no one dared to talk first or even look on eachother's eyes. Both have thoughts running in their head but it just wouldn't slip out of their mouth.

"So—"

"About—"

Finally having the courage, but accidentally started talking on the same time. It wouldn't be telepathy though for sure. Maybe coincidence can still be accepted when someone described the moment in one word.

"You go first" Ira quickly said, as she was still unsure to what she was supposed to say. But at the same time, she wanted to go first and just go straight to the point.

Please, no sugar coating. She thought while biting her cheeks inside her mouth.

As for Sunghoon, he badly want to talk first as his patience starts on getting thinner than it usually do.

He badly wanna feed his curiosity and just get over all of this.

Sunghoon cleared his throat and focused on the girl's face, trying to examine any reaction she might do soon.

"You mean what you said...? Earlier... in the... interview?" Sunghoon slowly, but finally said what he was about to say earlier.

Ira sighed, feeling hesitation.

Should I say the truth? that thought of her kept on lingering in her head, almost like a broken music piece. It just kept on repeating.

But why though, when she already have the answer on Sunghoon's question?

Maybe she wants to change her answer by questioning that question on herself repeatedly? Or is the question itself her answer and wanted to change to the opposite of it.

She now doesn't know anymore. Her thoughts keeps on messing up her decisions.

A lot of 'what if'.

A lot of 'what will happen if'.

A lot of of thoughts, just generally about him.

Sunghoon.

She would be lying if she said she doesn't have feelings for him anymore.

Damn, who would get over someone when you can literally see that person almost everyday.

No one.

Besides, she know to herself that she still feels butterflies, when he touch her; nervousness, when he's around; wamrth, when he smiles directly on her; and his love, when their lips lock.

Though, the latter also do feel the same. Correction— exactly the same.

Now wondering, "why they won't just go back together?"

Well, it's not that easy...

Feelings can stay, but trust can fade.

Sunghoon obviously lost his trust, well not really to Ira, after what he witnessed right when he's drained from work and deprived of the girl's touch.

He might know the truth already now, but it wasn't enough for him to trust himself again.

Yes, it's the trust on himself that he lost.

He lost trust on himself and is now scared that he might do the same thing and hurt the girl again. He lost trust whether he could still make the girl feel what he made her feel back then.

Though the girl could still, and clearly feel the things he made her feel back then. Sunghoon just couldn't see.

As for Ira, might sound bad, but she lost trust on Sunghoon. She lost her trust on him right when he wouldn't let her explain and just let her go like that.

You might say that she could just explain when she had the chance, but how when she can clearly see that Sunghoon doesn't have the interest to listen to her.

Remember, you were not there, directly. You were just reading what she had thought in those times. So, you wouldn't feel what she felt as you couldn't see what she saw.

Plus, when Ira found out that Sunghoon got to know the truth through her manager. She might not thought of it deeply, but still, there was a thought inside her. To why did Sunghoon listened to her manager more than to her, herself.

Sounds crazy, but she thought of it without you knowing.

"No, I just said that I meant them because of irritation... and maybe tiredness I guess. I wasn't thinking of to what I was saying" Ira again, lied.

She do mean what she said. A lot.

A silent 'oh' left Sunghoon's mouth as he looks at Ira who seem to not care at all.

Well she do, not just that evident as she's thinking of a lot of things.

Not really things, but stuff about him.

Soon enough, Ira's manager came back and started driving the van again.

You don't know how thankful the both were when Ira's manager suddenly entered the driver's seat.

Well, now you know. (a/n: literally have lots of meaning)

*******

OKAY.

So, this is my first time writing a third person point of view THIS DEEP. Wasn't really my plan to write this but I felt like you guys needed this chapter lol.

Well this chapter is just obviously to remind you that not everything written in here is what it seems like. There are a lot of things on each and every character's mind that I just simply don't write down. Though you might have the glimpse of their thoughts, but they aren't full. Might sound weird but that's the point of this book. I want all of you to feel mixed feelings. I want all of you to make theories on your own that might actually be true and make you feel satisfaction once the whole story is written down.

And now that I have written both main character's full thoughts. Why not finish this book here now?

jk, we still have a LOT of things to go through.

Not really that much, but still there are the characters' phase you don't wanna miss right?

This chapter feels like a epilogue, but we don't know. There might be more on the actual epilogue *winks*

BTW, this is my favourite chapter out of the fifty chapters jshdjshajsjhd

^_^