Confessions Of A Vixen

16| Above The Water

October 20, 1997

October was the start of the swimming season. It was one of the times I looked forward to and was going to miss when I left. I started swimming when I was 5, and I've been on every swim team in my school.

It was great. That's how I got into Georgetown University. I damn near drowned to get the recruiters to see me. Not that I regret it, though.

Now, my time was more cramped. I had training and classes and work. Yes, I could've ditched the job, but I loved it. The beautiful people I met, the atmosphere, and the pay were great for me to begin making my own money.

Anyways, with me having more on my plate, that meant limited time for Prince. I knew he would be upset, but I didn't care. We had this 24/7 thing, but I still had my life, which I hadn't even started, technically.

Speaking of Prince, the last time I talked to him was when we went to Shake Shack. Which I wasn't worried about because we didn't talk every day. But as soon as I don't answer the phone, World War 3 is about to start.

We usually ghosted each other. I didn't call him; he called me. It was like an unspoken code. He was the leader, and I was the follower. Or at least that's what I thought.

8 AM

I stood in front of my mirror every day and looked at myself. I smiled at the progress I'd made with my body. Not just looks-wise, but I like it for what it is. If I hadn't gotten help before I did, I would've depended on men to give me validation.

I had a feeling that I might go back into that same hole. Even if it was a bad thing, I needed someone to keep me above water.

Miranda called me the night before to ask me to meet her at her office. I still called her Mrs. Black or Professor Black. She was my favorite professor during my senior year. I would say my whole college career.

I think what made me like her more was her connection to Prince. She made me like journalism more. I wondered if she kept tabs on me to tell Prince. It was in the back of my mind every day. It was like she had an eye on me.

My closet was filling up by the minute, but I couldn't stop shopping. I still had unopened boxes and bags in the corners of my room. I decided to indulge in my new findings. The Chanel bag was begging me to open it.

I pulled a folded white mini dress out and matched it with my body. I liked it, and it was a part of the fall 1997 collection. I slipped it on and buttoned it up. My hands soothed the material and moved it into place.