PARALYZED: Us Against The World

-One

{I suggest you play the Yt video before you start reading.}

Well, ever since I was little, writing has kinda been my thing. It's where I found solace from the realities of this cruel world.

Writing in general has never been something I've actually taken to be something serious; creative writing in particular hasn't been something so serious.

At first, it used to be a normal hobby for me; I mean that was what it was until I had this accident, lost my dad, became paralyzed. Honestly speaking, I haven't thought much about my life with out my wheelchair and crutches. For the past four years, it's just been a part of my life.

Losing my father was a big blow but well, I guess we just have to move on. It's not something I'm that sure about though for myself. I still feel deeply hurt, after all his still my dad whether dead or alive, something I can't just get over.

There's this feeling of guilty anytime I think of him that I couldn't actually do anything to help him, to save him. Sometimes, I strongly wish that I was the one who died and not him. Losing a love one really sucks honestly.

Before dad's passing, both him and mom had a divorce, mom got remarried to my step dad and digesting the whole situation was something I was still trying to do before his passing, you know.

Not sure how it happened but I still remember our car running into a tree. I still hear those little whispers, those voices, his voices. The conversation we had that day, the screaming, the cry about the faulty break and then the loud crash.

I was unconscious but I still remember hearing those voices of those around us, the people that helped us, the good people that pulled us out of the damaged car.

I sustained injuries in my spinal cord that resulted to me having paraplegia, a kind of paralysis that renders the lower body such as my legs mute or paralysed. Kinda suck, right?

Although the crutch as being my closet friend, I still rely on a wheelchair for long distance movement.

I've made several attempts to walk on my own without the crutch, but we'll things hasn't really been that easy. I'm similar to a child, a toddler in particular trying to walk.

Baby steps is what mom calls them. I just stick with the famous tag 'leap of faith' or probably 'step of faith'. From clear perspectives, leaping seems to be more what I've been doing not really walking.

"Nimi, don't stress yourself out. Progress and movement takes time." That's what mom says anytime I try pushing my limits.

As you guessed, that is if you actually did,my name is Nimi. It's pronounced the way it actually is spelt. It means knowledge.

I'm guessing I'm the embodiment of knowledge coz of the name.

I'm honestly not sure why my folks chose the name. It doesn't sound cool or catchy neither it is anything I can I'm proud of. I would have argued about the name right from when I was born but I guess I was too young to engage in arguments, neither conversations.

I used to be jewel of the family while growing up. I still am but it's just that it's something I don't get to hear or feel that often. I think it's part of being a grown up.

Mom's currently a nurse. It's been her dream career and well she's been chasing it.

Step dad is more of an account. The guy is literally good in maths and business monitory related stuff. I'm still getting use to the fact that he's my new dad or should I say step dad. Though it's been 5years now, can't say I've really gotten to accept him as my dad.

Sure we're on talking terms,but just because we actually talk or have little chit chat,it isn't enough reason to say I really accept him as my dad.

I have a kid brother. He's really annoying, the most annoying in the world. He's always literally all over the place and sometimes I just can't stand him.

"Marcus! Stay far from my stuff...".

Marcus is the annoying being of the house. Though we fight over little things around the house,I kinda enjoy having him as my kid bro. Marcus is actually my step brother. Boys are literally annoying and if you've got a young sibling that's like mine,you can relate to my pain.

His mom died during labor,so,it had just been him and his dad,step dad. That was until mom and myself got conjoined into his their family making us one.

Honestly it wasn't easy getting to accept the fact we were gonna be brothers. It's been 6years now so I can say I've gotten over that.

ಠωಠ

I'm actually a day dreamer, spend most of my day being lost in my own head. Lost in my own thoughts of what it would be like if I could actually walk again.

You know, that's the only thing I can do. Don't really have much friends around the neighborhood, we just moved into the block so I could say it's still early to make new friends.

Maybe too early isn't the right word to be used coz Marcus is doing pretty well blending in into the hood. His even made a few friends.

Maybe people, kids in particular prefer people that can walk, people they could tease and enjoy seeing them run around trying to catch them. Something I perhaps can't do.

So far, my wheelchair and journal are my besties for now. I get to write and talk to them even though they literally don't talk much,or at all,at least I get to hang out with them right from when I get up from bed and get back to bed. Step dad and mom are optimistic that the right friends would come around when everything is right.

A/N

*Someone out there can relate*.

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