PARALYZED: Us Against The World

- Twenty eight

I sure did slept well, just a little bit later than expected. Sleeping by 3am in the morning wasn't so bad right? Is not like I'm the first person to be sleeping that late (─.─||).

Over at breakfast I kinda had mixed up feelings. Sad, not too happy, I don't just know; maybe it was because of what I read last night. Yeah maybe it was just that; I was kinda having thoughts of him on my mind right now.

Even on our way to school I was still thinking of him. During our class hours, I couldn't just get him off my mind. I never knew I missed him that much.

I sat alone at the cafeteria, the rest of the gang (Esther, James, Andy and Stephen) where probably somewhere around; close by maybe. I sure wasn't having any appetite for the packed lunch mom made extra special for me. Okay it wasn't so special, just the regular sandwich.

I took my lunch box from my bag and placed on top of the table where I sat. My wheelchair was just behind me.

I wasn't expecting anyone to walk up to me, not even Lam.

"May I join you?" He politely asked.

I went mute for a while.

" Sure." I didn't have any choice, for a desk built with a bench for ten, five each on both side, they was more than enough room for him and they weren't much reason to ask him to leave.

"Okay." He say as he sits at the other end of the bench.

"So? What you having over there?" He asks.

I wasn't paying any attention to his question. I was lost in my own head, still had the stuff I read from last night in my head.

"Hey!" I could see his five fingers waving across my face.

"Wa-what?" I felt startled, almost like I'd seen a ghost.

" What was you said?" I had to ask.

"I said Wal-Mart!" He teasingly said.

"Wal-Mart? What about it?"

He covers his face with his both hands shaking his head.

"What?" I couldn't get what was up with him; or was it me?

" What's going on?" I couldn't get the question. I had the confused look on.

"With?"

"You?" He completed the line.

Why was he even caring this much? We aren't even close enough to be friends. Or are we? I don't know what's up with me.

"The absent mind? Unusual quietness? And the awkward stares to space?" Too many questions from this guy. Which one was I going to answer first.

"Nothing!" The usual answer aside from silence.

"I was expecting that." He whispered to himself.

" I heard that you know!"

"How come you heard that one but not the other stuff I said?" A stupid question from him.

"I-I, ehmm, I don't know?" I took too long to answer that.

" Okay just forget! Let's talk about something else." I'm quick to change topics.

" Like?" And he's quick to ask for another.

" Like why are you here?" My brain worked fast on this one.

"ehmm, for lunch." Good answer but I'm not seeing any packed lunch or a tray on the table.

" Really?" I'm not buying it.

"Okay fine! I kinda noticed all your awkward mood and felt you needed someone to talk to. So there, that's why I'm here!" Not sure I get the point here but everything was definitely really awkward.

"Look, dude, I'm okay and what made you think if I needed someone to talk too I'll come crawling to you?" I had the look that said dude you're an idiot on.

"Ouch." He whispered but I heard it, just had to pretend as though I didn't.

"Look, didn't mean to sound that rude but I already have a lot on my mind right now." I place my head on my fore head looking down to my lunch box on top of the table.

"So you do have a lot on your plate?" What part in all I've said he doesn't get?

"Yes, I mean no, maybe!" What was I even saying.

We go mute for a while.

"How's your brother?" Why was I even asking this?

The question was like a big blow for him, he sustained his quietness for a while.

"He's good." He manages to say.

"Sorry I didn't mean to ask." I was only reminding him of his brother in a coma.

Come to think of it, we are kinda both the same. I have a dad I can't reach and he has a brother he can't reach; he's in coma.

I could see the coldness in him eyes. It was like he was gonna roll back into those shell of his, his unrelatable self of his.

I take him by his wrist. He stares deep into my eyes as I do same with his.

"I understand how it feels..." I honestly know that feeling, the one he was having right now.

Why did I have to raise the issue anyways? You're such an idiot Nimi.

"...I lost my dad, I mean it been years now but still kinda miss him." I had tears on standby waiting to drop.

He was quick to clean my eyes with his handkerchief before I could create a scene.

I wasn't suppose to cry, if there was someone meant to cry here, it ought to be him not me.

I can't get it. Why the tears? It hasn't gotten to this, I'm letting my emotions play me right now. Why did I open that book? Why did I have to remind myself? I thought I was over him? I thought the wounds were already all dried up.

"It's okay." The ugly voice of his were enough to stop the tears from shamefully falling and rolling down my cheek.

The bell rang, I could hear a student say lunch time was over, but then not sure I was ready to leave yet.

"Let's go..." Lam helped me got up from where I sat and helped place me on my wheelchair. He also went a step further by pushing my wheelchair to class.

He was even kinda enough to help pack up my lunch box, putting everything on the table on it.

Awkward? Maybe but for the first time I was caring less about that, but rather I had other issues at hand to deal with. My emotions where amongst those.

A/N

[I didn't want to play the emotion game, it just had to happen.]