𝐒𝐰𝐞𝐞𝐭 𝐌𝐢𝐬𝐞𝐫𝐲 ( 𝑺𝒐𝒏𝒈𝒘𝒓𝒊𝒕𝒊𝒏𝒈 𝑺𝒆𝒔𝒔𝒊𝒐𝒏𝒔 )

Afterlife

i wrote this back in mid-june, when i thought i was going to publish a different book that wasn't 'déjà vu' and there were dark vibes. i decided to withdraw from that project and focus on something that'll make me laugh, something that'll make me happy. i think my new book 'déjà vu' is just that.

this song is about the eery depth of having loved and lost. it's not just that they moved away or you grew apart. this song, focuses on the su!cide of a beloved, and how you always feel like it was partly your fault, because you could've been there, to stop it from happening.

i've been there before, with an online friend. the last thing they ever told me was 'i guess we'll figure out in the afterlife'. i don't know what happened to them, because they never replied back to my messages nor left me on seen. they never replied back to our other online friend either. 

they were depressed and su!cidal, and i really wish i knew they're okay, or at least alive. because, they were someone i was extremely close to, so it hurt letting them go. to this day, i'm honestly not over it and in denial, that they'll come back to me, eventhough it's been a long time and i never got to tell them what my real name was. 

after all that, part of me aches. part of me, just doesn't know what to say. they were running up the rooftop and i don't know why. ok, i'm going to cry, so just-

1ST VERSE:

i hope you know, you better know

you know i miss you

i'm on the verge of vacant tears

there's nothing i rather do

than be with you

yet instead, i'm faking fears

the height from here is all too sheer

yet if i were you, i'd erode

maybe i'm wrong about that

i never were you, so how i know?

i can still picture you at the rooftop

you said you'd never dare jump

yet you did, you did

i wish i could rewind time

undo everytime i were too oblivious

to realize you're the only one i'll ever love

loving you was my light, spirit and life

i never wished to lose you

PRE-CHORUS:

everytime you ran, i'd seam dark blue

i could never conceal

i was see through, and so we're you

you washed away, sinking in high tides

i hope it's nice, does the afterlife treat you right?

CHORUS:

my ghost, the only one i'll ever know

your shadow comes back to haunt me

all hail the rituals, maybe they'll bring you back to me

fading dimly, slightly creased from reality

you deserved better

guess you'll never read these letters

2ND VERSE:

it's for the best i guess

here's to all the text messages i've sent

i rather be left on read

i don't want to pretend

while i demise in regret

you always denied the fact

that i left us ruins

you'd constantly defend my actions

even when they were cruel

i knew something was wrong

the second you stopped answering them all

it's like, i'm conversing with a wall

one that'll never budge

one that should've stood tall

yet i left her in ruins

and you never dared to consult me

about your sudden moving

PRE-CHORUS:

everytime you ran, i'd seam dark blue

i could never conceal

i was see through, and so we're you

you washed away, sinking in high tides

i hope it's nice, does the afterlife treat you right?

CHORUS:

my ghost, the only one i'll ever know

your shadow comes back to haunt me

all hail the rituals, maybe they'll bring you back to me

fading dimly, slightly creased from reality

you deserved better

guess you'll never read these letters

BRIDGE:

running was fun for you

especially after mischief

that's would you said

out of the blue, on the roof

what more can i do

 other than tell you that i love you

and you left me too soon

did you have to?

all my words pour down, soaked in grim defeat, a little too late

you knew me, more than i knew myself

you were, you dragged yourself into my hell

and i watched you burn

burn down, i did nothing

OUTRO:

do you know, you better know

you know i miss you

It turns out that after 2 years, she came back to me. She returned my texts and she' s okay! This song still slaps hard, because she thought I forgot about her. 2 years later and I continued to remember her all too well. I love her and glad she's okay :')