Elusive Dreaming

Common Room Angst- Mattheo Riddle

Common Room Angst- Matheo Riddle

Warning: Abuse, Sexual Mentions, Arranged Marrige, Smoking, Death, Blood.

He was great in the beginning. They all are beautiful bouquets and clouded masks. Defeating the point of the mask until it consumed him. He wasn't happy or able to breathe. I knew he was suffocating and I was like his oxygen. He needed me and I told myself he would die without me. Love is constantly consuming its victims in hopeless butterflies. But the butterflies are your first red flag that the fog covers so you see pink. Pretty in pink, he said, I hope that you're okay. But please sorry never means sorry. And I love you never means forever. So please don't trick another as you tricked me. I will forever be marked on your lover's list. However, I will never be on the list of the ones who are blind to abuse. You never had a life planned with me it was a  mirage. Fuck you over so many times and he still wants you back.

Let go please he isn't worth it. All they could see was Mattho Riddle was toxic and you were slipping under. Slowly fading into his once-upon-a-time father.

The knife marks on your skin fade to pink. His intake is forever carved into your right hip and inner thigh. How he used to fool you with his blissful words. He made you understand your beauty but he also made you learn beauty kills. You an assassin trained to be an angel.

Life was angelic until the devil on your should become so heavily toxic. You must have slipped something to go underneath him. He may be the man as he flirts and flaunts around. In reality, you now had the power at your fingertips.

After meetings, he would come home with the smell of bourbon burning his body. His intoxicated mind spoke for his sober heart. Until morning you lay in bed with him. Combing your fingers through his dark brown curly locks. Gently soothing him to sleep like a child. You could sense deep down Harry Potter was planning something.

Big enough your toxic habit deemed lover would have to become a fighter. Would have to fight to not become an orphan. Fight to rewrite his family tree.

In the beginning, you were just kids, the way he wrapped his arms around you was protective. Now it was designed to give you false hope. His love wasn't forever surely enough three floorboards were loose. You hide your happiness from the times before he was a dickhead. You were just his little prize at the end of the party.

Everything about him is bittersweet. You would fuck than fight. In the end, he was a psycho, a manic, and worst he was a killer. Somber and mourn the death of your love. Mattheo Riddle doesn't understand love. You knew this before you started dating. However, you never knew how much it meant to you that he would hurt you. Everything became sexual.

Between you two in the end he would grab your wrists and pin them above your head. Raising the fabric of your shirt with one hand while the other pinned you to the wall. Biting along your neck sucking like a vampire. Sometimes you hadn't thought about it.

Other times it was the only thing you could think about. You shouldn't have had to wonder if it was a hickey or a bruise. Brick by brick the wall was built.

Until you were to be trapped alone in a cold, dark room. Bare with nothing but a concrete floor and a thin blanket. You used his old tricks against him. The never thought of him just being a normal teenager was out of the window. You took his bricks and made them your own. Building them as high as they would go Until the weight would collapse over your body. Making you mentally limp.

All you could do was stay. Because you told yourself that he needed you. When in reality he didn't need you. He has started a new life behind your back. Love wasn't based on hatred for one another.

Love wasn't forever and always or behind the vows of "Til death do us part," Your mind became consumed of him. He was dark and smelled just like his father. The knife marks carved into your inner thigh were a scar made with dominance instead of love. To him, you were another whore he had once picked up. However, he wondered why you stayed with him.

Your love was based upon him at one point. Infatuated with ideas of social policy. Your mother was a siver-spoon. As for your father he was once a great man.

Building his own life to provide for you and your mother. Once upon a time, you had a sister until your now lover's father killed her. Over the fact she stood up for herself, she was kind, caring, and a compassionate outspoken soul.

She was a bit older and a little piece inside of you was released negatively when she passed. You had a brother as well. Also older you knew no one wanted a sob story but you made it through the day he died as if you never had him. You didn't cry and didn't mope or write letters instead you took the time to be productive.

You knew if anyone were to find those letters stored inside of the filling of your winter jacket. The summer's secrets of them would come to an ending in your precious life. You hoped day you are successful enough to let go of the past but hold onto the memories.

Although familiar settings are comfortable. You want to branch out. You want the ones you care about most to be proud of you. You wanted the day to be a day of celebration and not of loss. You hope someday you no longer blame yourself for not reaching out as my mother said to. You hope they know you're okay and that you're sorry. You didn't understand how you were like him but you were.

You made it and he did too, you know he was with his family that day. You know he doesn't need to watch me because it was very hard for you to let go. Knowing he did something in this world helps. Knew he was kind and supportive. You miss him dearly but that stopped you from reaching out. The letters were frequent when you were younger.

When the wound was fresh. Now you know he is in the stars happy and no longer suffering. You know that those days will never be another day. It isn't a birthday but it is a celebration. In reality, it was the day before but your family found out from Mattheo’s father a day after.

You used the day you found out because it felt real that day. It's been 4 years but it feels like you were in the bathroom crying on the floor about it yesterday being able to remember it all so vividly. You still have nightmares about the times when he first came into your life and how your brother and sister were overprotective.

The battleground was littered with the bodies of your loved ones and you were filled with a venges hotter than the sun. You didn’t want them dying in vain. So you did it, you killed your husband Mattheo Riddle.  It's so much worse if you were to read the letters and just know they love you.

Therefore the crisp parchment in your hand reading the death of Matheo Riddle was real. The times for common room angst and romance were finished. Over time you healed from the abuse you rendered under the control of a boy and his father. Who thought they could rule the world. They knew nothing of the world's cruel intentions. You were meant to end the world to revive it. Thanks to Matheo you did as you were made for.