Elusive Dreaming

Just Another Hookup-Carl Gallagher

Just Anther Hookup-Carl Gallagher
Song:Post Nut Clarity-Alemeda

Warning: Swearing, Mentions of Underage Drug Use, Mentions of Sex, Arguing.

Weeks after a Gallagher rager you found yourself questioning yourself. You wondered if you should’ve stayed home that night. “Hey, baby!” Carl greeted being his usual cocky self. “What do you want, Gallagher?” You spoke back attitude laced with each word.

You were done with him, the lying, the makeup sex, because al you were was a fuck buddy.

“Damn you don’t gotta be so harsh.” Carl said, dropping his demeanor a bit. He could tell you were in your head. “Do you wanna get out of your head a bit?” Carl asked, looking at you as he ran his hand up your thigh. You looked into his eyes and your breath hitched.

“No, get the fuck away from me!” You shouted getting up from the wall you were sitting on. Carl sat there for a moment dumbfounded you never said no to a quick fuck.

“Okay, as your friend and not your fuck buddy I am asking you what is going on?” Carl asked, dropping his usual attitude revealing his true caring side. “I can’t talk to you about this.” You respond holding back tears, you can’t let him see you cry. “Why?” Carl asked. “I- I just can’t.” You stammered running your fingers through your hair. The teenage mind is a whirl”pool of emotion.

You truly didn’t know if you were okay with being another one of Carl Gallagher’s side pieces. Part of you wanted some clairty to what you were with him.

Yet, the adrline of not knowing was enough sometimes. Later that night you found yourself laying on your bed memorizing every speck and groove on your ceiling.

Only to be taken out of your trance by the sound of small pebbles being thrown at your window. You shot your head looking at the window.

Despratly hoping it wasn’t him, although you knew it was. That was the way you two communicated. “What, Carl!” You shouted passive aggressively annoyed with him. “Can I come in?” Carl asked with a sincer look.

Hestiatly you took a moment efore you agrrd maybe talking this through would help. Or just punching him in the face would make everything better. Situated on your bed, legs crossed staring face to face with him was torture. Overthinking your idea of talking your problem out was long gone.

“We’re alone, tell me what’s wrong.” Carl stated, scooting closer trying to balance himself on the edge of your bed. Looking in his eyes you sighed, burying your face in your hands.  “I don’t want to be your side whore anymore.

At the same time I don’t understand or know what I want.” You began the pressure built up and faded in a chain cycle fashion. “Really, this is what this whole fuckin’ thing is about.” Carl said proppin his hands up under his chin. “You make me wish I stayed celibate.

I wish I never let you in my bed but at the same time it’s all I think about.” You ramble Carl just listens silently. “I shoud’ve let you know sooner. Clearly I’m not your forte espcially with your new chick. What’s he name again Dominque?” You continue watching his movements.

That last remark caused him to shift himself in a position to make a b-line for the window at any given mooment. “So you're just jealous of Dom.

Jealous that I’m talking freaky to her now and not you.” Carl said as if it was obvious you could tell he parity zoned out. “I know you started to lose interest in me but damn you gotta choose her.

What can you show her about your mediocre dick?  Or the fact you think this phase is working for you, news fash when you show out to her and she fucks you over don;t come crawling back to me.” You raise your voice standing up to argue mimicking Carl as he backs away.

“I assumed you would be fine with me fucking others since we're not together baby.” Carl argued “Well you made another stupid assumption.” You told Carl “You are fucking a liar, that’s if she ha even let you fuck her yet!” You shouted “Are you done yet?” Carl was fed up with this fight from the moment it began.

“I wasn’t thinking clearly when we started this whole fuck buddy thing I guess. So get the fuck out and don’t come back to me when she fucks you over six ways from Sunday!” You say getting aggrevvatied with his laid back demnor.

With that Carl left watching him go back to his house it dawned on you that you just lost your bestfriend.

Tears brimmed your eyes, all you wanted was a hug now from you bestfriend but you pushed him away. Regret filled your mind you could’ve called Lip and asked him to talk to Carl. Or wait for the situation to cool off. Maybe you should’t of let him know.

Weeks pass by side eyeing in the hallway at school or before and after school when you now walk on the opposite sides of the sidewalk. Other than that you had nothing to do with Carl.

You were right and as bad as he wanted to crawl back to you for a shoulder to cry on he couldn’t bruise his ego like that.

Dom cheated on him that summer and he was falling apart mentally. He needed you and you needed him in a bonded friend way. Maybe the clarity was too real. And the clouded affect was back, and he needed to get high with you.

Hear your laugh one more time before he went insane. A knock at his front door ol for hm to smile seeing you from the front window.

Opening with a straight face tryig his best to hide the smile. “I’m here for Ian not you.” You say shoving past him keeping your head down as you run upstairs.. It hurts him to know that you seem to be doing fine without him.

“I’m sorry.” Carl says to you from across the bar you sit next to Lip figuring out a schedule for Ian. Ignoring him, “If he goes to work at this time he can-” You mumble looking at his work schedule for the week. “Look at me please!” Carl yells cutting you off.

You refuse to look at him although the sound of his voice breaking hurts you just as much as you not speaking to him hurts him. You must be stronger than he is. Carl finally has enough he comes over to you and puts his hand under your chin. 

Forcing you to look him in the eyes. “Don’t fucking touch me,” You say shoving hs hand away from you.

“Lip I got to go see you later.” You say slinging yur bag over your shoulder. “Okay, kid.” Lip responds. “What was that Carl?” Lip says the further you go you can only hear distant chaters of Carl getting chewed out for treating the way he did.

He took out his cornrows and finally dressed normally again. It was nice to see him figuring out himself if only it came with the courage to tell you how he really felt. For now you would be nothing to him but you wanted to be his everything.

Word Count:1242