Connexion

Part 119

Minutes later when both summoned the energy to move, they both looked at each other. On their backs, shoulders touching, their eyes traded messages and they grinned.

A few minutes later, Caleb raised himself to look at her, propped his head on his hand and whispered because he could not find energy to be loud, "Fuck, Jena, that was bloody amazing!"

Jena could not help the smile. She would analyse this later, she thought. She said, "Yes. Incredible, and I am not sure I can move."

He dragged the duvet over them, cocooning them together. "We do not have to move."

"Is this normal for you?" She turned her face towards him.

"What?" He glanced over at her. 

"Aftershocks unabated. My body is still strumming." She muttered. Even now, given it is ten minutes since they uncoupled, why was she still registering sparks and shocks.

He grinned, and she could read his eyes, and he was definitely proud! And he moved closer. "Can I stay tonight?" Caleb asked as he burrowed closer.

Jena nodded. And they cuddled.

In the morning, Jena woke up, with a smile on her lips as memories surfaced. She turned her head around, expecting to see Caleb beside her. But he was not there.

She dug her elbow into the mattress, and wiggled until she was sitting. He would not leave without saying something, her heart told her. But she bit her lip and wondered if her heart was wrong. So she was pleased to spy his jacket, his shirt, and her dress was draped over the chair that was closer to the deck doors.

Surely she would have heard him, picking up their clothes, which she knew, they had left strewn on the floor, last night.

Dragging the sheet over her nakedness, she got to her feet. He must be here, given his shoes, shirt and jacket were still here.

Resurrected her smile, she padded over to the chair. She would have to find something to wear and go find him. She dropped the sheet, and spied his shirt again. She giggled and donned his shirt. She rolled the shirt-sleeves, buttoned the shirt, and smoothed the shirt, and grinned at her image in her mirror. The shirt covered her from her shoulder to mid-thigh. She ran her fingers through her hair, to ensured some control when she caught her hair in a bundle and pinned it up with a pencil. She all but bounced as she walked the corridor heading towards the kitchen and lounge. He was not there, but the deck door was open, so she inched forward, thought she would surprise him.

She noted he was wearing his trousers, and clearly without his shirt, because she was wearing it. His elbows were on his thighs, his chin on the platform made by his palm, and he was staring out at the water. Unseen look. 

Even from this distance, he looked miserable.

And it robbed of her smile.

She studied his face, and she saw that he was despondent. Surely he should be happy. But he was rubbing his forehead and she could see he was not happy. Melancholic. Actually, as if he was carrying the whole worlds' problems on his shoulder. Clearly he regretted this, she thought. She didn't. And she was going to tell him, but first she wanted confirmation, about her opinion, about his mood. So she asked him, "Caleb, are you regretting it?"

His head whipped around, surprised to find that he did not registered she was there.

"Sorry?" His eyes drank her in. He thought the metallic dress she wore yesterday elicited his reaction. And now, seeing her in his shirt, he knew it wasn't just the attire, it was her. He gulped. And said quietly. "Good morning Jena."

"Good morning." She resumed her interrogation, narrowed her eyes, "You are regretting it, aren't you." She said quietly.

"What?" But at least he found his composure and he realised what she was talking about. "No, of course not. Jena. Last night was bloody amazing! Incredible."

She frowned, "So why are you so, er unhappy? The expression on your face, you were definitely not happy. Even depressed!"

"I am not depressed." He frowned.

She came closer, and bit her lip before she continued with her interrogation. "Well, you gave the impression you are sad, and looked like you were carried everyone's problems on your shoulder." And clearly was because they had sex.

He shook his head and smiled. "Ah, that is my pensive look."

"Pensive look." She snorted.

"Yes. Thinking. Brooding, possible."

"About?"

"My feelings?"

"Your feelings?"

"Yes." He took a moment. It was something he was trying to work out, before he approached her about this. But it appears that Fate was taking over. He exhaled and looked at her, "Jena I have never felt like this." Ran his fingers through his hair, " And I do not know what to do about it. This is all new to me." He left his hand at the back of his neck, and rubbed as he tried to stem the stress. "Was trying to work my way through it, trying to work out what to do, and whether I should tell you. Hence my pensive look." He inhaled, and a blew out a sigh, before he said, "Last night, as I said, making love to you was bloody amazing. More than bloody amazing!" He sighed again, "And, this morning, I was trying to work out what is going on here."

"I know you have had sex before." 

"Exactly. Jena. I am not a monk." He ran his hands through his hair, "So feeling, what I feel at the moment, is mind blowing, for me. And trying to work out what is going here, and what ever it is, it special."

"You think something is going on here?"

"Don't you?"

She nodded. He smiled.

"And it worries you?" She asked quietly.

He got to his feet. "Not worry, exactly. Just not in my repertoire." He came closer, "Jena, I can't even pigeon what I am thinking. All I know," he put his hand on her shoulder, and drew her closer, "is how happy I am. With you. How I feel about you is difficult to categorise. But this morning, sitting here, reviewing my feelings for you, I feel grounded and at the same time,  enervated. It feels so bloody good! Confused, and insane, and weightlessness while grounded, and the utter wonder. I think I am in love!" He pressed a chaste kiss on her forehead. Jena blinked in shock. Caleb continued, "You are right, Jena, I have made sex before, and have no regrets, and while being great, it does not even touch what I felt last night," He kissed her lips. "and what I feel now. Just holding you, just a simple kiss. I think I am in love." 

In shock she asked quietly, "And that worries you?" She hoped that was not true.

"No. What worries me, how you will react if I told you." His eyes met hers, "Yesterday, last night, in that dress, I thought it was responsible for the way I felt about you." He moved his hands, and framed her face, "I what I know, now, even with you wearing my shirt, it is not the clothes, it is you." Placed a quick kiss on her lips. "I have just spend the last couple of hours, rehashing my plans! I was worried that you might not entertain those same feeling and was trying to work out how I could persuade you to fall in love with me. Wondered if I have a chance with you. You are so bloody independent, so bloody self-sufficient, I knew I could not wield my wealth to persuade you, because you would ignore it. So what could I offer you?" He moved his hands, and moved back. His eyes met her eyes, "What can I offer you, and do, to persuade you to love me?"

"Nothing." She whispered. Elation swamped her. Her eyes smarted with tears of joy.

"Nothing." He blinked, seeing her eyes flooding with tears. "Jena..." He revealed his confidence was a mask.

She interrupted, "Nothing, Caleb. Because you do not have to persuade me." She placed her lips on his, and whispered against his lips, "I love you, Caleb." And sealed that statement with a kiss.