Flower Girl | h.s.

14.*

Daisy

"Have you been listening to anything I've been saying?"

I look up from my laptop when I hear the one-sided conversation continuing; Cara is staring at me from her place by her bedroom door. I had been camped out on the sofa for the past few hours, trying my best to get some work done before the weekend started, even though it felt like I had been here for days.

The truth was, I hadn't totally been listening to everything she'd been saying. There were a few pieces that I'd missed, but I could definitely think of a solid few key pieces of it that could please her if I made them known.

"Uh, yeah, I have been– you're talking to a girl from your history lecture," I confirm, when I notice that Cara is rolling her eyes back at me, like she knew that I was piecing parts together. There seemed to be a bit of a disconnect, or I must've heard something wrong– probably a little bit of both. By the amount that Cara talked, I knew that I would hear this story again– probably even later that day, if I was so lucky.

The past few weeks had been extremely busy, to say the least. I hadn't really been able to keep up. Since student teaching had started at the end of August, it was taking over my world. It was taking over classes, my free time, everything else. Mrs. Schuman was giving me a lot of work to help her with. I was grateful for it, of course, because it meant that I was really learning something about what the future of teaching would look like for me.

Turns out, there's a lot more to learn about how to manage middle schoolers than I had originally thought. 

A lot of projects to research, readings to compile, lessons to plan– it felt like I was being overwhelmed with that on top of my classes, and I had figured that everything would have been a lot smoother than this. She had given me a bit of free range when it came to teaching, though, which I found to be challenging and rewarding all at the same time. It meant that I was able to add my touches on what I wanted to talk about in certain lessons, and learn from the kids' reactions on how it went.

It also left me with little to no free time outside of any of that, which meant I didn't see my roommates outside of living with them daily, I hadn't seen my sister or family in quite a few weeks, and I hadn't really seen Harry in... well, it hadn't been that long, but long enough for me.

As those were the primary people that I had been gracing with my presence, it seemed a bit more lonely, but I hadn't even given thought to it since I was so busy.

The last time that I saw Harry, I had left his house that morning after I had found some breakfast to throw together. It was really only a few frozen waffles that got left in the fridge with a bit of a berry topping to go with it, but nonetheless I had been able to feed him, Brooks, and I masterfully.

If he didn't text me most mornings, I received a text most nights, just letting him know that he was thinking about me and hoped that school wasn't dragging me down too hard. The thoughtfulness anchored me, and I truly couldn't have asked for someone so supportive in my work.

It felt nice to know that someone cared enough to take a few minutes out of their day just to let you know that you were on their mind.

I shut my eyes, rubbing on top of my eyelids gently with my fingertips as I let an outward sigh through my nose. My mind took a minute to collect as I tried my best to live in the silence of the room for a moment.

Hearing footsteps in the living room made me open my eyes to reveal that Cara was coming to sit in the room with me now, her sweatpants drug on the floor as she made her way into one of the chairs. She sat criss-cross, mirroring me, as she settled into her seat with her bowl of cut up kiwi and apples that she prepared for herself.