I HAVE NOTHING LEFT FOR YOU

PART FOUR ( in cursive )

1.Eric

It was a June it was June it was a June
I'm echoing a poem in my empty room
Can't talk about it because I don't have to
But it harms my being because I only fall through
I wrapped my body with the coldest pillow I had
I've stopped eating since I fell for him
My relationship with my body was paused so I could rewind what we had
We were sending emojis which got me so delighted
A happy kid , a teenage rage
I smiled so hard my ribs had to ache
I've sent a voice message blushing in secret
I was convinced that I was loved like those before me
I was convinced that I was so happy
But he said he said he said
I can't recall it
But I know I know for sure
That it made it all unfair
His words his words his words
Always yearning to be said

I can't believe I'm dating you
We look so silly too

A joke a joke a joke
And I puke and work and work
Build a body I had lost because of you
Then I cried knowing I'm trying to please you

2.Sally

" everybody moved on "
" I stayed there "
" I'm right where you left me "
- Taylor swift

This is not a love story  nor a self love journey , this is me telling myself that I've been stabed in the back multiple times and what was in the air that got me so hooked on him ? His eyes so inviting and his neck terribly revealing spots where I was supposed to leave hickeys with his lips pursed and his warrior looking-like silhouette , he wasn't that muscular but I thought he'd lift mountains for me , who wouldn't?
She started speeding up , the car that I referred to it by " she " because she smelt like strawberries and I see things with colours , pink and white that's why the vehicle felt like but th feeling that got me after that burned .
Red and oceanic blue kind of burning.
About the car thing, I do have a car , I don't drive it that much I fear to become like my father  .

" he was in a mental hospital " the mother confessed focusing on the road with her hands grabbing the steering wheel .
" What ? " I could only gasp feeling my teeth shaking a little bit as an announcement of a near urge to puke .
" There was an accident . Had he ever mentioned a guy named ' Ethan ' ?"
The conversations I had with Eric were few and i digged deeper through the memory but no Ethan came to surface so I just said " No , I suppose not "
Well yes . I remembered.
" they were in the car, he - he never faced it nor admitted it , it hurts me to see him like that "
Like what ?
Her lips trembled and so did my legs , I placed my hands between my thoughts just to focus more .
" what happend ?" I asked , looking at myself in the rearview mirror .
" my husband and I assured to provide him the safest place for getting better . With proper help , guidance , medication "
" medication ? " my hands moved to my hair finding something to pull .
" What is important to know is , that he is not mentally stable to - "
" to what , just spit it out "
" To love, to function like a human being , how could he live without knowing who he really is , what really happened , it's like constantly walking on egg shells , constantly begging for fresh air , for an escape "
I had my arms crossed around my stomach and I had one last thing to know " What happened  to Ethan ? "
" It was a mistake , it was a mistake "
She started skipping red lights and driving faster my head turned and like a broken CD it felt like she was was in a scene , rehearsing the words and i wondered if she was in desperate need to convince me that it was a mistake or to convince herself .
And as the windows started to shiver , I yelled " Stop the DAMN car , now "
She starred at me apologetically, wiping her tears , fixing her hair , I grabbed the door handle , and when her lips moved , I pushed my head out of the car , had my throat  itching , I gagged then puked it all .
He died in a car crash .