Our Baby (Finished)

part 17

⚠warning ⚠

this section may be triggering. please read with caution lovelies. ❤

The pain in my chest was unbearable. it wasn't due to the cancer, or the chemo, but from the guilt. All of this was my fault; the debt, the reason Mikey was in the hospital, and the reason he could potentially die. It was all of my fault.

if I just ended it, I thought, everyone would be much better without me.

I let a tear roll down my cheek and grabbed my phone. I logged onto twitter. I was flooded with both positive and negative tweets, both leading me to only cry harder.

"I'd like to thank everyone for their continuous support. I hope everybody understand and accepts my decisions... I love you all."

I got up slowly and worked my way to the bathroom cabinet. I was on a very strong antibiotic that I was only supposed to take one of. I placed the bottle on the counter and grabbed a pen and paper.

"Luke,

I'm so sorry. I just didn't want to be the burden anymore. Please take care of Ana, and if Mikey wakes up, tell him I've returned to the stars. Thank you for all that you've done for me and my family. I can't explain to you how greatful I am for all that you've done for us. You're a fanominal human being with one of the biggest hearts I've ever been exposed to. You deserve the word, and much more than that. I hope you find happiness in this world, and just know that I'll be watching down on you. Please tell Ash and Calum that I am sorry as well. I wish I had gotten to know them better, but unfortunatley, it is my time to go. Please take care of Mikey for me if he wakes up. He deserves to live and needs to strive on for Ana and the fans.

Love, (Y/N)"

"Mikey, my love.

I'm really hoping you never have to read this. I've decided to leave this world behind. I'm a burden to you, to Ana, to the band, to your fans. Basically everyone. I couldn't stand the thought that you may lose your life because of me. I also can't imagine the amount of money you've had to pay to support me and Ana on top of that. You don't deserve any of this burden I've brought upon this family. You deserve much better than what I'm providing. I'm so sorry it had to end like this Mikey.... Please find a lovely woman who can take care of you and provide for you and Ana more than I ever could.

Luke has Ana for now. Please take care of our baby girl and tell her mommy loves her. I couldn't take be the burden anymore... I'm so sorry. I love you so much. I'll be waiting for you at the gates my love.

Forever and Always.

-(Y/N)"

"Anastasia, my baby girl,

Hello darling. It's your mommy. I'm sorry I had to leave so soon. I hope you become all that you can be and make the best out of life. you deserve the world and I'm sorry I couldn't give that to you. You're my world, and I'll be keeping watch over you. I can't explain how much I love you baby girl. I'll be here every step. Take good care of your dad for me. I'll be keeping you two safe, and I hope you forgive me. When things get tough, hang in there. I believe in you. You can do anything you put you mind to baby girl. I love you to the moon and back and I'm sorry I couldn't be a better mommy to you. I'm sorry I couldn't still be here to watch you grow and raise you, but the world just wasn't ready for me yet. Someday, we'll meet again, and I will embrace you just as I did when you were a baby. Until then, baby girl.