"You could at least put some effort into this couple."
"And you could've at least listened to me when I told you that it's him. That you're not gonna turn my head and that you should couple up with someone else, someone who is interested in getting...
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Signing up for Love Island was never my decision. My best friend had practically begged me for months to sign up and after I almost run her over, this was the only way she would forgive me.
I should clear up however, it wasn't my fault I almost run her over, she had left the car in reverse and we were switching seats so I climbed over rather than walking around. My leg had a spasm as I sat down and I had hit the pedal. She just happened to be behind the car when it happened.
So, that's how I ended up in a studio, surrounded by a crew and having hundreds of cameras pointed at me.
"We just need you to introduce yourself to the camera and answer the questions we give you." The producer was stood next to the camera with what I'm assuming is a clipboard full of questions.
"Okay. Just nod when you're ready and I'll start." After a few checks on equipment and camera angles, the producer nods and gives me the go-ahead.
"Hey, my name is Theodora Onasis, I'm 23 years old and I currently work in an aquarium whilst I complete my degree. I moved to Brighton three years ago when I got accepted into the University of Brighton but I'm originally from South London."
"How would your friends describe you in three words?" The producer read off the first question from her list.
"Can I use hyphenated words?" She nodded and gave me a few seconds to think.
"If my friends were to describe me in three words... they would probably say dirty-minded, judgemental and thick-skinned. I have to be, if not I'd be crying myself to sleep every night."
"What's your type?"
"I like them tall, but not like having to duck under doorways tall. I don't fancy having neck ache for the rest of my life. Tattoos definitely. They need to be very sarcastic and have a fun personality but also know when they need to be serious. A dark sense of humour would be perfect. Especially with this:" The camera is slightly titled as I raise my leg - what's left of it at least.
"I lost the bottom half of my leg when I was three years old and have had a prosthetic leg for around twenty years now. I don't need people walking on eggshells around me and being careful about what they say when they're around me. I need someone who is willing to make jokes about it with me and take the piss out of me as long as it's harmless. The pity I get on a day-to-day basis is horrible. I don't need pity, I can do the same as everyone else, well, except for touch my right foot." There's a few crew members who laugh at my final sentence before the final question is asked.
"You'll be joining the villa as the first female bombshell. Having already seen the islanders, who are you most interested in getting to know?"
"Definitely Luca. He's my type to a tee. From his physical appearance to the way he acts, he's like the perfect match. Liam looks like someone I'd like to get to know too. He doesn't have the tattoos but he checks off the rest of the boxes. So, yeah, Luca and Liam."
"That was perfect. We'll get a few different angles and shots and then you'll be ready to go." We move between set-ups and film the shots a few times each so they can find the perfect ones to show the public.
I discuss any equipment I may need during my stay that will support me. Mostly just medication and walking aids like crutches and a wheelchair. They had asked if I needed a shower seat installed previously and although I would probably never use it, there's always the chance that I'd need it.
"You will be entering the villa tomorrow night with another islander called Davide. You will both be entering at the same time but you'll be finding out how tomorrow. Head back and get some rest, tomorrow will be a big day."
