Reach Out And Open Up (Criminal Minds)

Chapter Eleven

Taven's Pov
It was very cold and damp. It's was a room I hadn't been in forever, get it hasn't changed much, still a large see through mirror were agents and officers were looking in on you, a large camera in the corner of the room catching every moment. My estimate guess since both our arrest. It was a full day, possibly two, resting my temple against the table playing with the rough cold material of the handcuffs.

I was wondering if it was gonna be Emily this time, or maybe JJ again. It was just hard seeing the look of judgment laced across their eyes. I could hear the door open, briefly lifting my head up for a moment my body relaxed a little at the sight of Spencer sitting across the seat from me flashing me a small little smile.

"Hey Taven how are you feeling?" I gave him my own small smile speaking gently.

"I'm doing fine, this isn't my first time uhm being integrated you know." He cleared his throat quickly opening up the file as he spoke to me holding his shaky hands.

"I just wanted to inform you, you aren't placed under arrest, or charged with anything. No in fact Hotch just wanted to get your side of all this." Carefully placing my hands on top of the table, I spoke to Spencer gently looking in his eyes.

"You know the feeling you usually have when you wanna hide the ugly part of you?" He gave me a quick head nod my way.

"That's how I feel about my past, it's just something I am greatly ashamed of cause it's me at my weakness state at a time in my life were I was fearful of my life that I hurt people to insure my own survival. I have nightmares a lot you know because.. It's sad and pitifully. I only use fake aliases because I'm ashamed of what I was and of course that doesn't make anything better I mean I'm dating a federal agent I should have known I couldn't have kept it a full secret." A small sigh left lifting my cuffed hands to rest under my chin.

"I suppose all I can really say is I'm sorry for not only lying to you guys, but to Aaron.. And Jack it's all I can really do." Spencer was watching me closely.  He had always been hard to understand but in the moment, I for once saw all his emotions come to the surface his fingers rubbing across the table.

"Be it as it may, you were only doing what was right to have your own safety and I forgive you and I'm sure Hotch does too. I want you to just start from what you remember when you get Terry and then you can make your way down year by year." My hands stayed firm under my chin speaking with ease.

"Terry was like every asshole, charming playing sweet at first. I was young you know fresh out of college just drifting to wherever. It wasn't bad at first just silly dates here and there. I would say it was about seven months into the relationship, he started doing odd job request and bringing me along. I normally stayed inside the car." For a moment I paused for a second staring at the table. "Then one day he snapped coming out of a house covered in blood screaming at me to help him. It was when I learned he was an assassin for hire. I tried to break up with him right then and there he just ended up blackmailing, said I would go to jail anyway for just being in the car, threatened my mom and my siblings. So after a while I just went along with it." I carefully nibbled at my lower lip speaking gently.

"I never was afraid of blood till after I saw it so much it doesn't wash out of clothes you know? Not enough bleach gets the smell of iron from your nose.. Even after a while it was my own."

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"Are you sure this is okay...? I can always just go back to my place were all those agents raided my place." A weak smile grew on my face hearing the light chuckle coming from Aaron watching him fumble with his keys shoving them into the lock unlocking the door to his apartment.

"I'm very sure it's fine, this place is still yours Taven. Go take a shower, Jessica should be dropping Jack off we can do a little movie night make you comfortable." Once the door was pushed opened. I looked around the place a little uneasy at first, Aaron carefully urging me inside his hand pressed on my lower back the door shutting behind us. I grabbed at his arm for a moment causing him to look back at me for a moment.

"Can.. We maybe take a shower together?" I asked surprised not only by myself but the look across his face was shocked, before he smiled nodding his head slowly.

"Of course come on." Taking my hand in his own lifting it up to press a kiss to the top of it he urged me to stare at him fully.

"Taven I know it's gonna take a bit of time for our trust to be once where it was, but I don't look at you any different I still love you, you still are who I fell in love with." Exhaling a harsh breath, he moved to pressed my head on his chest.

"I'm just really sorry I lost your trust in the first place." Aaron let a soft shush noise kissing the top of my head all he gave me was a deep squeeze.