Another: The Class of 1999

Chapter 4 - Real

Clarissa and I had been taken to the teachers office where we were given cups of water, which went untouched, and had teachers I'd never seen before attempt to settle our nerves.

Clarissa had been trembling the whole time, her hands and legs violently shook, whilst she kept whispering "I've failed... I've failed..." over and over again.

My mind just felt blank. Empty. I was stunned, my whole body just dumb . I had just wittnesed a boy in my class die. It almost didn't even seem real... Could I have saved him?

My father was called to come and collect me from school, and I had to be escorted around the side of the school so I didn't see the body again. Somehow I managed to hold it all together until the front door closed behind me. My father immediately pulled me into a secure, loving hug when we got inside, and I felt myself cry. My father was the only person who I felt safe with. He was the only person who could hold me without sending me into distressed flashback mode.

Yet I was scared, with no idea why. After all, Hisoka's death had been an accident. I had to remember that I was safe.

Somehow, I dragged myself up the stairs. Exhausted, I ended up crying myself to asleep in bed. When I woke up, I glanced to my side and saw a bottle of water and a plate of sandwiches waiting for me.

I didn't have much of an appetite, but I sipped the water as I tried recalling the events that had happened at school. Then I pictured Hisoka... His legs broken and twisted so unnaturally, his head split in half, all the blood...

Luckily, I had just enough to time to jump out of bed and race to the bathroom before I threw up.

My father told me that I didn't have to go into school the next day, which I was grateful for. As much as I wanted to go see if Clarissa was okay, I knew I needed to take time to settle myself. Saturday and Sunday were spent at home, mostly sleeping. I didn't eat much, which meant I lacked energy to do the simplest of things. Homework was waiting for me, but I just couldn't concentrate. I considered drawing, but had no motivation. My hands were itching to do something, but my mind was completely shutting down at every suggestion.

My legs somehow gained a little strength, and on the Sunday afternoon I suddenly decided to go for a walk. The fresh air might have made me feel better. The park seemed like a nice choice. It meant having to walk passed my school, but I was willing to brave my fears.

I looked at the place where Hisoka had died. The area on the ground had new cornered off with yellow tape, and the window was still broken. My heart dropped and my knees buckled, but I turned my head and walked away, as if I could convince myself it was just a bad dream.

Every time I closed my eyes, I could see Hisoka - one moment he'd have his cheerful, cheeky smile, and the next he'd be laying on the ground, a mangled and bloody mess. It must have been a quick death. But I could still imagine that he knew what was going to happen, that he might not survive the fall. All the fear rushing through his body as he plummeted...

The park was large and spacious, no part of the bright and colourful playground equipment unoccupied by a small child. I noticed a couple pushing a pram, and a distant barking of a dog.

I decided to follow the stoned path to my left, which took me through a maze of trees. Each tree looked different and unique, and it was calming. I felt a sense of tranquillity wash over me as I passed through natures wonders. All the trees were slowly growing blossoms, most still just pink buds. Late bloomers. But I made a mental note to come back when they had fully bloomed into all their beauty.

My mind still wandered, and I had to sit down and close my eyes. Of course I'd miss Hisoka and his cheeky ways, but his death was an accident, and my auntie Mai told me that things always happened for a reason, that it was the world performing wonders. I didn't know how death taking Hisoka could be classed as a wonder, but I felt like it wasn't something I should question.