𝐥𝐨𝐯𝐞𝐫 | 𝐜𝐨𝐧𝐫𝐚𝐝 𝐟𝐢𝐬𝐡𝐞𝐫

X

"dude im so bored" steven cries. him and me, jere and conrad are squished onto a two seater sofa.

"tell me about it. at least laurel is happy though" i add, glancing over at her signing booth, where she's engaged in conversation.
Still, there is an overwhelming sense of dullness in the air.
"so i heard you ditched your lifesaver job today" steven asks Jeremiah, striking up a conversation.
"yeah for your smoking hot sisters and their debutante debut" jeremiah answers, winking at me. "it was so worth it" he grins.
"duuuuude" steve groans. "you're such a slut"
"not my faut your sister is a baddie" jeremiah glances towards me, wiggling his eyebrows suggestively. I laugh at his flirtatious confidence. Conrad visibly recoils at his cringey choice of words, rolls his eyes and removes himself from the sofa.
"Look, you've made Conrad sick" Steven laughs. I watch him leave and my eyes follow him towards a display of alcohol. I drown out the conversation on my left and unwillingly place my sole focus on him, yet the boys choose to ignore the removal of his presence. I guess it's nothing new to them though, he has been reserved this summer.

No longer involved, nor interested, in anything else,I just sit there and bask in the silence of my own mind. Who am I kidding, after a few minutes, I excuse myself from the boys and follow Conrad up to the drinks table. He must have drunk beforehand, because with only two drinks down in the time that I reach him, he's slurring his words.
"Woah connie go easy on the whiskey" I laugh lightly, putting the lid on the decanter, restricting his access.
"Did you ask Jeremiah take you to the country club lunch?" He asks, his brow furrowed and completely changing the subject.
"What?" I counteract, baffled. "No, he offered. He was lifeguarding, and happened to see me and belly arrive" I explain.
"Oh" he mutters, reopens the decanter and pours himself another drink. Before I can get him to stop, Laurel calls him over.
-
"Are you in on it too huh? Did my mom talk to you?" Conrad shouts at laurel. Woah.
The boys and I snap up in attempt to see what has gotten Conrad so heated.
The one sided shouting continues until he walks away from the signing booth and back towards us, and the whiskey. He takes another drink.

"what the hell connie?" i ask, bewildered. "what was that about"
"my mom and laurel trying to intervene with my life. its bullshit" he slurs.
"she just cares about you Conrad. that doesnt give you the right to lash out at her"
"what so you're on their side"
"what?" i ask confused "im jsut saying you have no right to raise your voice at her. shes my mom at the end of the day, remember?"
"Whatever" he mumbles before throwing his glass back, setting it in the table with a force, and storming outside.
"What was that about?" Jeremiah asks, and I shrug.
"No idea" I answer, and for the second time that night I find myself following the magnetic force of the fisher boy.
I down a glass of whiskey for courage and make my way outside.
He notices my presence, but doesn't acknowledge me verbally, so we stay in silence for a while. He has that broody look on his face and I can tell he's thinking about something.
"You know I'm here to talk if you need to, don't you connie?"
He looks down at me and sighs. He takes a long stride forwards, so are bodies are almost touching.
"I-" he opens his mouth but is interrupted.
"Guys, get your asses in the car, we're going to the drive in" Steven exclaims.
I look at him confused, "isn't belly on a date there?"
"Exactly" Jeremiah winks.
I roll my eyes. "Seriously guys? Its her first date" I look up at Conrad, expecting him to talk some sense into the guys. He looks at me.
"Coming" he answers them.
Unbelievable.
Still in close proximity, he snakes his arm around me and into the back pocket of my jeans to pull out my blue lighter. He goes to light a joint that he unveils from behind his ear.
"Seriously? Give me the fucking lighter back Conrad" I say annoyed. He's already out of it as is, getting high would just make him worse.  Plus I don't like anyone using my lighter.
"Just give her the lighter and let's go" Jeremiah says, impatience in his voice.
He ignores us, and his hands continue up towards the joint that now hangs between his lips. I reach up to grip his wrist, and it pauses before it's able to spark the lighter. I stare up at him, feeling as if I'm almost begging. Begging him to not get high, to not crash belly's date, to not leave me, to not be this drunk jerk.
My efforts prove unsuccessful, or he just doesn't care, because he lights the drug anyway. The force of my hand against his now slack wrist causes the lighter to be thrown back as his grip lessens. I hear the cheap plastic clatter against the concrete first, before I locate it near Jeremiah's feet. It's transparent blue shell is splinted into shards, the broken casing leaking out lighter fluid.
"Aw shit addy it's broke" Jeremiah notices. I look at Conrad. He's stares at the puddle of plastic for a second, before turning away towards the car. He knew what that lighter meant to me, how to me it's a way of helping me forward, yet he doesn't give a shit. It infuriates me.
In blind rage I shout out to him, uncaring of the other boys, in who I've only just been reminded of their presence.
"maybe you should actually fucking talk to people instead of this self destructiveness"
His head whips around, and his eyes burn into mine with anger.
"Hypocrite" he spits.
"What's that supposed to mean?" I ask. I know the answer. The real question is whether he'd have the audacity to even say anything, especially in front of Steven and Jeremiah.
He glances at the boys. Then at the places in which my clothes cover my scars.
"I think you know."
"Fuck you Conrad." I yell with a broken heart as he gets into the car. I turn around in a poor effort to conceal the tears that escape from the anger I feel. I feel a hand on my back, and it's accompanied with Stevens voice just a second later.
"Addy are you alright I-" I cut him off.
"Just go Steven, please" I shrug his hand away.
"I'm here to talk when you're ready" he adds before walking off and joining the others.
I wait until I hear the roar of the exhaust pipe and the screech of the tires before I let myself be enveloped by my feelings.
I kneel down beside the broken lighter and begin to pick it up as the tears stream from my blurry eyes, hoping to distract myself.
It's no use though. The shattered lighter just feels like a pathetic metaphor for the way Conrad fisher has just broken my heart and left me to pick up the pieces.