Night Shifts | Billie Eilish

Chapter Ten

CW: Suicide + Attempted murder

UNCONCIOUS 

"Trauma call, code blue, paediatric female, ETA five minutes," I heard over the loudspeaker as I was walking back to the nurses' station. I quickly turned on my heels and headed straight for resus. When there's a trauma call for paediatrics, I'm expected to go since it is my expertise, after all.

Once I got down there, I quickly got my PPE on and gloved up. But as I went to go into the room to get briefed, Elle stepped out and stopped me. "I think you should sit this one out," she said quietly. "Why? What do you mean?" I asked, trying to get past her.Elle didn't respond. She just looked very conflicted. "Elle, let me go in, move," I said and shoved past her, walking straight into the room where a blue-haired teen was being resuscitated.I froze, and my body went stiff, my heart falling through my ass and onto the floor.

"...B-Billie?"

Before I could do anything else, Elle pulled me away and dragged me into a spare consulting room. She sat me down on the bed before my legs gave way from underneath me. "I'm so sorry," she apologized as I put my head into my hands. "How? What happened?" I asked after a moment of realizing what the fuck I just saw, my voice breaking as a sob got caught in my throat.

Elle sat down beside me and wrapped her arm around my shoulders. "Apparently, it's attempted suicide, but the police on the scene said it was suspicious of foul play," she explained quietly. Hearing those words felt like an elephant had just sat on my chest, constricting my airways.I started to taste bile in my mouth.

"H-Harley, can you hear me? Harley?" Elle's voice brought me back to reality suddenly. "The code blue's been called off. She's breathing," she told me, relief evident in her voice too. The second she finished her sentence, I collapsed into Elle's arms, finally breaking down into tears. My whole body was wracked with sobs.

"She's gonna be okay," Elle repeated as I cried into her lap.

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I watched through the window as the trauma doctors changed Billie's intubation on my way out from finishing my shift. Her parents still hadn't shown, and it had been nearly six hours since she first came through the door. I felt so bad, like it pained me.

I was just about to leave when someone approached me.

"Why didn't you help?"

I turned to see Kerrie. I gulped, "Uhm..."

I looked back at the girl in the hospital bed and then towards Kerrie. "I'm not permitted to," I told her. "What? Why?" she asked. "I'm too close to the patient," I said.

"What? Just because she's a regular patient—" Kerrie started, but I cut her off. "No. I'm too close to the patient," I said again, a small tear rolling down my cheek. "Harley, no," Kerrie suddenly said, realization dawning on her.

"A relationship with a patient?!"

I nodded, biting my lip as I started to cry. She scoffed. "You're fired. I knew I should've never hired you. You have too much heart for a job like this."

Kerrie walked off, taking my nurse badge and key fob with her. My head fell against the glass window of Billie's room as I broke down once again, this time without Elle by my side. My tears blurred my vision as I watched Billie's monitor.

As long as she's okay, right?

Eventually, I was able to tear myself away from the window and go home. I went through my recent calls and called Billie's brother on my way back to my apartment.

"Hey Billie, is this you again? It's Finneas?"

"No, but it's about Billie. You're her brother, right? I've been, uh, taking care of her, and I don't know if you know, but she went into cardiac arrest today," I said.

"Yeah, fuck, really? Shit. Is she breathing now? Is she okay?" Finneas asked. "Yes, she's stable now in the hospital. I just thought I'd tell you since I don't think your parents would have the courtesy," I said. "Yeah, thanks, uh... I don't live near Billie anymore, and my parents can't know I moved away. Could you visit her? I don't want her to be lonely in there, and she seems to really like you," Finneas asked.

"Uh, okay, okay. Yes, I'll go visit her for you. I'll tell her I spoke to you as well," I said, just registering now that I was fired, she wasn't my patient, and I could see her. "Thanks, uh..." Finneas said. "Harley. It's Harley. It's alright, Finneas, I'll keep you updated, alright?" I finished before we said our goodbyes and hung up.

I decided I would go change, shower, nap for a little bit before going back to the hospital.

As much as today has been possibly the worst and most overwhelming, emotional day I've ever experienced, I needed to get my shit together and face it head-on. I got out of my car, wiped my puffy eyes, and took in a deep breath before shutting the car door loudly and walking confidently into the elevator.

For Billie, Harley. For Billie.

900 words.