I'm a little?

Chapter 12 (I will try it out)

Recap:
Charlie is moved into her doms house not ready to except the little side of hers. She got her phone taken away but this morning her fried Sam calls, he dom gives her phone back for the call. Sam tries and failed to convince Charlie to try out being a little...
End Recap:

I keep my phone in my hand and go downstairs to the living room/kitchen and am determined to get the thought of 'trying it out' out of my head!
"So you shouldn't get to used to this but since it's your first morning here I made pancakes!"
My mouth waters, it has been a while since I ate those. "So you are a pancake fan? I'm for the waffles but I guess if I have to, I'll suffer through some pancakes." I say sarcastically. I sit down and prepare to eat. Why does eating have to be so hard for me?
"Can we put on the TV?" That helped last time...
I don't think I'll do much now...
"Okay... here we go." He puts on flash, last night I told him it was my comfort show.
I take a bite and try to focus on the movie and not the piles of calories gathering up inside my stomach. The thing is I can't focus on the movie, I'm focusing on how David reacts to the episode... hopefully he likes it. And then thinking about David I think about my conversation with Sam... oh and I should probably give it back to him. 3 days to go. No tictok... either way I grab my phone out of my pocket.
"Uh, David... my phone?" I hand it to him.
"I know I took your phone but you can call Sam whenever Okay? Just ask me."
"Thanks... actually... I want to ask you something..."
Why am I doing this!
"Sure, what is it? Are you okay?"
"It's well... I'm embarrassed..."
"You don't have to be, okay? This is a safe space. What is it?"
"Iwilltryoubeingyourlittle" I push the words out before I change my mind.
"Huh? A little slower?"
"I... I will try out the whole uh... little thing..."
His face lights up, which makes up for how awkward this is going to be. I can see him trying to make it a no big deal. Taking a deep breath he says. "That is amazing! If you don't like it, it's okay. We stop right away, no hard feelings"
"Mmm..." I nod... I'm rethinking all of this, how will we even start this. I kinda want to jump all in just to get it over with but also want to test the waters a little. It's my turn to breathe.
"How... how do we start?"
"Well, a few things change."
"For example?" I am completely regretting trying this out.
"For example, bedtime, not light's out. Nap time too. A booster seat in the car. Sippy cups, Disney movies. Things like that. Most of it relies on you."
"What do you mean?" What I am thinking is 'what did I sign up for!'.
"What I mean is you acting more childish. I will help if you want. I can remind you of things you can do to get into headspace. We can take it slow."
"I don't want to be... like... a baby..."
He chuckles. "Yes, you have made that pretty clear but I know you studied the statistics in class. Almost all littles are around 6. About 16.2% are four and 2% in the whole world are less than 3. So this is to say we will start just using basic little things and see where you land."
It can't be that bad... "okay. Let's do it!" I plaster on a smile I am 100% sure he will know is 100% fake.
"Let's just have breakfast now? Okay?"
We talked a little more about the whole little situation and I told him I didn't want to wait. That I would just be stressing about all the bad my mind can make up. And well, long story short we are going to the park, to A) "tire me out for nap time" and B) "see the fun in little space". Those are his words! Not mine. We are getting ready, going up the stairs and to my room. He asks if he can pick my outfit and I say yes. He looks through my wardrobe, probably looking for something to make me "feel younger" (his words) he finally takes out a white skirt and a white shirt that matches, they both have little embroidered flowers on them, plus the shirt has puffy sleeves. Not bad, this is something I would wear. He holds it up to me and asks "Can I help you change?" I- change? Like, take off my clothes. I am about to scream no when I think back to Sam. That I should really try it. So, against everything I stand for I say. "Okay."
He smiles warmly and says "hands up!" He pulls off my shirt. And pulls down my shorts. "One foot out" he unnecessarily guides my foot outside the shorts and does it with the other foot too. I'm naked. Completely and utterly naked, but he doesn't look at me at all, he ignores the faint scars on my legs.  Just happily says "Now let's put on this pretty shirt?" This makes me smile, forgetting everything else, I just want the pretty shirt, I nod. "Hands up" and he slips on the shirt. Same thing for the skirt. He adds some socks and shoes. I bend down to do the laces and then I remember, I look up to see him bend down and tie my shoes. This is embarrassing. My cheeks might be permanently stained red. But I will admit, being pampered is nice. He then goes on to brush my hair, which is too short for pigtails thank god but he does make two tiny braids to dangle on the side of my face. I have been silent for most of this, other than a few yelps of pain from the horrible monster hairbrush both times he replied with a sorry and tried to do it softer. I don't brush my hair often those knots probably where days old. He leads me to his car, a Mercedes Bens. He opens the backseat for me and low and behold. A booster seat! I take a deep breath and sit in the car and on the seat. He puts me on my seatbelt. He goes to the driving seat and turns back "How did I do?" He flashes a nervous smile. And that nervousness calms me down, it is his first time too.
"Five stars on Yelp"
"Thanks" he starts the car and I need one win. One thing to not go into a full-blown meltdown. He told me to tell him. "Um David?..."
He looks back and smiles, "yeah?"
"Can I get out of the booster seat?"
"Thanks for asking, yeah let me unbuckle you." And though I could do it, I let him do it. It feels nice knowing I still have control over when I can do something. That he won't get mad or shut me out. I switch to my other seat and let him put on the seatbelt. I don't tell him but compared to the boster seat this is hard, the seat belt rest uncomfortably close to my face and the window is to high for my liking. Next time maybe...

Dad Joke of the Chapter
I had a dream I drowned in a sea of orange soda, turned out it was just a fanta-sea!

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