𝚂𝚠𝚎𝚎𝚝𝚑𝚎𝚊𝚛𝚝 • 𝚂𝚝𝚎𝚟𝚎 𝚁𝚘𝚐𝚎𝚛𝚜

Epilogue, Part 2 • To Grow Old In

Do you know what it's like to lose the love of your life in childbirth?

To watch as their eyes sink a little, they stop blinking, and all the colour drains from their face as the doctors and nurses start to panic, pushing you out of the room all the while you can hear your newborn baby screaming.

Do you?

I nearly did.

I watched and witnessed all those things, I remember the blood being the last thing I saw as my babies squalls echoed out of the room and into the cold empty hall while more and more hospital workers pushed past me.

I felt my heart crack, the fear creep in, the sensation of being all alone again– a feeling I had grown all to accustomed to in my life. It never gets easier either. Every single time is just as scarier as the last, perhaps more.

I thought for sure this time was it, that god was done with his cruel pranks or whatever tests, like he got tired of us and decided to finally kill Millie Mae.

But he didn't.

She lived, and I got to cradle her in my arms with our baby girl, all thanks to some hardworking healthcare workers who made sure my wife stayed with me. Because of them, Millie Mae lived to see another day, and many more after that.

And I suppose that's how we got here, laying in our bed of our newly built house, the sunlight creeping in and illuminating the specks of dust that floated through the air because both of us had been too busy and too tired to clean lately.

Bucky hadn't been around to help out either, he's technically still working, helping out captain America take down enemies.

Just like he used to do with me when I was Cap.

Him and Sam are quite the pair, I see a lot of myself in Sam which I suppose is why I gave him the shield, but I also saw something more. Something better. I knew he'd find it too one day, and he'd be an inspiration to everyone out there. I'm glad he took it on, though it took Bucky some convincing on his part. He tried to get me to talk to him but I told him that if I tried to force anyone to take the shield, that would go against caps very fibre.

If I'm honest, I wanted to give the shield to Bucky too. They both had something unique to offer, something strong and powerful and loyal. But Bucky is tired of fighting, which is why I'm confused as to why he still does it. I wonder if he just doesn't know how to stop.

I hope he meets someone to settle down with soon, lately every romantic interest of his hadn't been able to handle him which is absolutely heartbreaking because he's not difficult at all.

Just a little broken.

Now that Sam is cap, however, I get to have what I've always wanted, what we've always wanted. The simple life. I built my wife a big house with a green garden and a wrap around porch. I've given or am giving her everything she deserves.

Of course, after our scare with little Sarah, it became hard to give her everything I promised. I always told Millie I'd give her as many babies as she wanted, but when I nearly lost her in labour, I nearly took it back.

I hardly touched her, too afraid I'd get her pregnant even if I used condoms. I couldn't bare to put her through yet another near death experience, and I couldn't bare to lose her again.

Of course, she got her way. One night while Tony and Pepper were watching Sarah, she crawled up on to me and started kissing me. We hadn't had sex in six whole months, ever since the incident, and I immediately got hard. I told her to stop and it blew up.