Head Over Heels - Steddie

10

Steve woke up feeling more ashamed of himself that he had ever done before. His head was aching and his entire body felt soft and stiff at the same time - and then it hit him. He had a pair of arms wrapped around his waist. He stood up from the mattress with a rush and looked down at Eddie - who woke up by Steve's sudden movements. They both looked at each other with confusion, none of them having any idea what was going on, and both of them freshly awake and sleepy.

It took Steve about a second to realise what had happened, everything he had said last night and what Eddie had replied, and all he could do was to look down on his wrist clock. It was only half past five in the morning, which meant that he had woken up almost an hour earlier than he used to do on school days, but he still felt stressed inside like he had woken up at 9 am instead.

"I have to go." He said in a hurry, looked around like he was looking for something but realising that he was still wearing all of his clothes and hadn't brought anything with him yesterday. He was still questioning a little why he had woken up next to Eddie The Freak Munson, even though he somewhat knew that he had dozed off by his own last night.

"Why? It's like 4 am.." Eddie groaned and pushed down his head in the pillow. Steve shook his head, didn't say another word before he left the room and went straight to the hall and started putting on his shoes with struggle.

"Steve? Where are you goi-?" He could hear Eddie yell behind him as he opened the door and left the trailer, walking straight towards his car and opened the door. He felt like crying and yelling at himself at the same time, cause after all, he had done something absolutely dumb and Eddie would never forget about it. He would never forget about it and Steve would have to live the rest of his life knowing that.

He pushed the car door shut and started the engine, tears building up inside his eyes as he started driving out from the trailer park, both hands on the wheel with a tight grip and his lips rolled into a thin line. His head hurt and he was fighting against the tears to the point where his eyes started to hurt. It didn't take him long, however, until he drove in on a parking lot along the road, leaned his forehead against the steering wheel and allowed himself to cry out.

He could feel his shoulders falling down along his body, his cheeks getting more wetter and wetter for every second and hear his own sobs as he thought about nothing at all. Nothing being the fact that he was afraid of his own feelings, that he had admitted for a boy he crushed on that he would like to fuck him, before he had even admitted that for himself.

"What the fuck.. Steve." He whispered between heavy sobs, his arm wiping of the tears on his cheeks repeatedly time after time. "What the fuck!" His hand turned into a fist as he hit the steering wheel, even more tears leaving his eyes. Was this really him?

Falling for someone like Eddie? That couldn't be right. He barely knew Eddie, for fucks sake. It wasn't possible for him to get attached to someone that quickly.

But here he was, crying his eyes out at six am because he had just done so. Gotten attached to someone, not for the first, but for the second time of his life. And what scared him the most was that someone being a boy. A boy with tattoos, rings, weird clothing, and very curly and very long hair. A boy with dark voice, a flat chest and a very pretty smile.

He eventually calmed himself down, took a deep breath and looked up from the steering wheel. His eyes was all itchy and sticky, and the arm of his hoodie was filled with wet marks from wiping off his wet cheeks.

"It's okay.. it's okay." He calmed himself down, took another wobbly sob before starting the engine with trembling hands, continuing his way home with red eyes and shaky breaths.

How the hell did he end up like this? This wasn't the way he had been thought to be like. This wasn't the way his parents wanted him to grow up to be like. He would never get accepted like this. Never.

Not even Dustin would accept it if the truth about Steve's crush on Eddie would come out. Maybe if it was another boy, but not Eddie. Not Dustin's Eddie.

Eddie's voice was playing on repeat insides Steve's head, "Do you want to fuck me, Harrington? Is that it?", and it was still playing on repeat when he walked into the school building two hours later, head hanging low and the awareness that Robin would jump up behind him any second - having absolutely no idea what he was going through at the moment.

Cause after all, who would expect Steve Harrington, the womaniser, to be interested in boys? And especially a boy like Eddie Munson.

He shook his head, trying to shake off the thoughts as he grabbed his math and history books from the locker and showed them down in his backpack along with a pen.

"I litteralt just bumped into Dustin five minutes ago and he said that you called him yesterday just to ask for Eddie Mun-"

"Do you want to fuck me, Harrington? Is that it?"

Robin jumped up beside him just as expected, Steve not giving her a single glance as he closed his locker and zipped his backpack. He was begging for himself to stop thinking about Eddie, but the image of the boy was still showing in the back of his head when he finally looked up at Robin.

She was wearing a pair of brown jeans today, and a black T-shirt and a weird looking vest - looking more gay than usual, in Steve's eyes. Looking more like herself than usual.

"What's wrong?" She asked, a frown building up between her eyebrows as her voice turned from happy to worried. She was looking at him like he had just said something really depressing or suicidal.

"Nothing. Why are you asking?" Steve sighed as he turned around and started walking down the hall. He could hear Robin following behind him.

"Well, first off, your eyes are like EXTREMELY red, and second, you look absolutely horrible. Have you even showered today? And where did your sense of fashion go?" She rambled, looking Steve up and down as they walked. Steve shrugged, no interest in answering her with words. Robin sighed, grabbed his arm with a tight grip and turned him around to face her. "Steve." Her voice was serious. "What's wrong?"

Steve looked at her for a second. He had never seen Robin being this serious before, ever. Not even when they talked about her dead uncle, or the fact that her father had gotten diagnosed with cancer (he was cured almost three months ago).

"Let go of me, Buckley. I'm not in the mood." He sighed, jerked away his arm from her grip and turned around and started walking faster. This time, he couldn't hear her steps behind him anymore, and all he could think about was to not let the tears that had started building up in his eyes to fall.

"Do you want to fuck me, Harrington? Is that it?"