Head Over Heels - Steddie

11

Steve didn't bump into Robin at all that day, and he was still figuring out if that was a good or a bad thing. They had all their classes together, since there was no P.E on Mondays, but they didn't even glance at each other once in class.

In fact, Steve didn't look up at someone at all. He was afraid of bumping into Eddie wherever he went, and he had no idea what would happen then. He felt heartbroken, even thought he wasn't. He felt empty, and frustrated with himself. And he couldn't be more relieved when the final bell finally rang and announced the end of the day.

He walked out of the school building with heavy steps and carrying his backpack on his right shoulder. He was still wearing the hoodie he had been sleeping in, and just replaced his sweatpants with a pair of black jeans. He didn't really look like himself today, and neither did he feel like it either.

Today was one of the very first days without rain, and the sun was sneaking up behind a couple of clouds, making the rain puddles on the ground look all sparkly and beautiful. The smell of rain was still playing around in the air, however, and it wasn't hot enough to walk around with T-shirt yet.

He missed Robin, he missed her a lot.

He opened the car door, stepped inside and started the engine almost immediately. He didn't feel like giving someone the time to knock on his window or get home later than he wanted to. He was very pleased that he didn't have to work today, cause all he wanted to do was make dinner, sink into the sofa for a couple of hours, take a shower and then go to bed.

He just wanted to give himself time to be himself again.

He drove off from the school parking lot, leaving it behind with pleasure and his backpack moving in the passenger seat. He didn't allow himself to look away from the road until he drove by the drug store, slowing down the wheels of his car as he looked at Eddie Munson and Chrissy Cunningham sitting on a bench outside the store laughing. Steve could see that they where them immediately, and as he was about to turn away, the long haired boy met his eyes through the car window and stopped talking to the blonde girl.

Steve looked away with a deep sigh. Just seeing Eddie made his heart ache a little, getting reminded of his own mistakes and failures, but seeing him with Chrissy made it all worse. He felt jealousy, he knew that now.

Steve parked the car on his drive way, groaning silently as he opened the door and pulled him and his backpack out. He was feeling the relief of being home, finally, but even that disappeared when he saw someone sitting on the porch to his house.

"Nancy? What are you doing here?" Steve stopped walking and looked at her. She stood up from the porch, wiped her back as she opened her mouth to speak.

"I-.." she sighed, looked Steve up and down. "Robin called and said that I should check on you. I got worried." She mumbled, looked down on her feet for a second and then back on Steve with a soft smile. He didn't say anything, waited a second before finally giving in and gave her a nod. He walked past her while he dug down his hand in his jeans pocket and pulled up his house keys, opened the door and walked inside leaving the door open for Nancy to follow him.

"I felt like something was going on yesterday, I just didn't know if it was my place to ask about it and.." She sighed in frustration, tossed off her shoes and walked straight to the living room and sat down on the sofa. Steve looked at her while he put down his back pack against the wall and followed her to the living room slowly. His hands were hiding in his pockets and his throat was filled with a big lump of anxiety and something he couldn't name. Worry? Hurt?

"I just want you to know that you can talk to me." Nancy looked up at him and clapped on the seat next to her - showing that she wanted him to sit down. Steve took a deep breath before he sat down next to her slowly. Nancy jerked out one of his hands from his pockets and held it with both her hands, tight and warm. "Okay?"

"Okay." Steve mumbled. Was this it? Was this when he would finally open up about his small thoughts and get some ease from his shoulders and chest?

"So now.. tell me." Nancy mumbled. Her voice was soft and caring. "What's up?"

"I.. I don't know." Steve started, looking away from her. He didn't feel comfortable showing her his face in this scenario, with his eyes red and his voice all wobbly. "It's just.." he sighed. "I'm dealing with so many feelings at the moment and absolutely no one knows about them. And I don't even understand them myself." He talked slowly, trying his best not to break the bubble in his throat.

"Go on..?" Nancy said, in pure confusion. She was expecting to hear something about his parents being absent, or stress from working too hard. But this was something different. She could feel it.

"I tried to deny my feelings all day but when I saw Eddie with Chrissy it, like, it really hurt and now it feels like I'm on step one again. I feel so jealous, seeing them together." Steve finally gave in. He couldn't keep it inside anymore, cause it was killing him. He had to hear it out loud for himself. And he needed someone to hear as well.

"Wait, wait, wait. Are you jealous of Eddie because he's with Chrissy?" Nancy's loosened her grip around Steve's hand and placed a hand on her forehead in confusion. "Do you like Chrissy Cunningham?"

"No, Eddie is not with Chrissy. She's with Jason." Steve sighed, threw himself back in the sofa and let his head sink into the soft fabric. "And no.. I'm not jealous of Eddie." Steve sighed and looked away, feeling how the knot in his throat just got bigger. He had really said that.

"I don't understand.. Eddie Munson is a boy." He could hear Nancy ask next to him, making him turn around and look at her with a sad face.

"Nance.." was all he could get out from his dry lips, his eyes slowly watering as his hands started sweating. Nancy looked at him with empty eyes, and eventually her lips separated and let her take a short and shaky breath.

"Oh.." Nancy whispered. They looked at each other, trying to read each other's expressions. The silence was so loud that only that made Steve want to cry. Was he about to lose Nancy now? Never. He couldn't.

Nancy's lips turned eventually into a soft smile as she looked at Steve, her hand returning around his left hand with a tight grip. She stroke her thumbs against the back of his head, still looking at him with a smile and somewhat watering eyes.

"I'm so happy right now." She whispered, voice breaking as she spoke. Steve looked at her with a little frown, not understanding at all why she was so happy. But seeing her like that made the knot inside his throat to slowly turn into a soft cloud and eventually go away. He felt relieved. Really relieved.

"Yeah.." he couldn't help but smile. "Me too."

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I can be kind today and post two chapters cuz.. we hit 20K reads and today is this books 2 weeks anniversary! Thank you all!! Loads of kisses