Seeking a future

Mixed Emotions

Okay. So yes we actually ended up riding for about two hours, according to the sun's movements.
I was expecting Levi to drop one of his complaints because I said we would not be taking this long of a ride, but he got occupied with a titan here and there and I got plus two assists.

Levi stutters,
"Tsk, tsk Four Eyes it has been to long-"
"Eureka!" I say interrupting one of Levi's general complaints.

I ride fast ahead of him without looking back and shout a "yahoo" and come to an abrupt stop.
I leap off my horse and look at this weird plant I had never seen before. I take out my sketch book and start to draw the plant I had just discovered. It had a long green/yellow stem, large pink pedals surrounding a black middle, with sharp looking olive green leaves.
I look back to see Levi observing my drawing with a close eye and I love the way his face looks, you can totally tell he's engaged to what he is looking at.
I pick this plant and hand it to Levi and he gradually takes it and puts it in his satchel (I call it his man purse) as I am inspecting other plants. I smell some and even feel the textures of others and end up picking about fifty plants.
Levi still looks content and interested in what I am doing.
"I think our mission is complete Clean Freak." I say with confidence.

"It's not over until we make it back into the walls Shitty Glasses."
I look up at the tree and realize that it is a pine tree, I think back a little. I start to climb the tree and I look back down at Levi; he's just staring at me with his blank face without a trace. (Whoa that rhymed)
I pick a couple of the pines and climb back down. I walk towards Levi and hand him them with a smile on my face even though that took a lot of time since I have heard that the best pines on a tree are at the top.
"Are these for your experiment? We have seriously passed a load of pines way to many damn times and you take the time to climb this one?"
I look away from him feeling hurt. I just wanted him to know I listen to him. I do not give him the chance to apologize (I am not sure he would).
I pack my things quickly and hop on my horse and trot away not looking back once.
Was I crying? I guess it wasn't just because of this time. God, it adds up, I know that Levi has a terrible past and I try to help him. I know he's lonely. But holy crap! Why does he shut people out? Is he just clueless and he can't tell that I give two cleaning wipes about him? I need to tell him directly that I care about him. No, I can't. He'll reject me, I can't handle that.
I keep riding on without looking back to see if Levi was behind me. It was starting to get dark so I wanted to stop and make camp. I realize that if I were to do that I would probably have to make contact with Levi.

Confront what I'm feeling? Or on the other hand I can lock my feelings down deep inside me. Well the first choice had two outcomes -a good and a bad. The other has only one outcome and it's not a good one anyway you look at it pretty much.
I wonder if Levi will ever love anyone like he did Petra. She told me once that she thought he loved me because of our harsh jokes we throw at each other and the way we dis those Military chumps. She thought we were compatible. I have thought about what she had said time after time, but it's to good to be true. Plus, I would feel as if I were betraying my comrade by confessing my feelings to Levi. Except I don't even know if I love him. It's a little crazy. He's him and I'm me. Really, I don't even know what love is.
I decide I am going to hide my horse with the camouflage cloaks and head to climb a large pine tree.
I just remembered Levi did not have a horse. He will just have to walk tsk, tsk.
I can't help but look back to see if Levi was insight. No sign of the little guy.
So I head up towards the tree and start climbing, curse my terrible upper body strength.
I lift my feet up as I do my arms as well. This is going to take forever.
I feel a warm hand slip into mind and feel a warm chill up my spin. I look up.
It was Levi.

Yassss!!
Sorry I haven't been on wattpad in the past couple of days. It's school bro.
But I'm very proud of this story so far
Whale then....
I love you guys
Stay crazy!
~yours truly