HEART DESIRES

PAIN

April

"Now don't create suspense? Tell me what happened next, you confessed?...or he rejected? or you never ever even a get a chance?!!!!" Beth almost was staring at me, seems like she got too lost in this stupid story of mine.
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It happened after a week or two since I last went to his home, I sensed he started acting differently. He eventually stopped talking to me. As if I did something, he used to ghost me or was he not? I was so confused.

You already are in love with someone you are friends with! You never tell them! Still they stop talking to you about everything! The conversations starts to get small...why??? Was he aware that I was in love with me...was my love, this heart..it's desires, the reason for him to ghost me? Was I somewhere responsible for falling for someone who always tried to be friends with me? Did he really never felt any strong connections to me? Did his eye lie to me everytime I looked at him? Thousands of questions with no answers.

Later I found that the ghosting was compulsorily done while we were at college. Because when in evening I used to text him, he replied me though very late but that means he was talking to me.
And we all are such fools in love, I again thought maybe he doesn't want the world to ruin anything between us that's why he is keeping it safe and hidden. I didn't even focus that was there really anything between us to be protected?

One day in evening I texted him.

"Hey!"

"Hiii"

"Today I did spend my whole day in library"

"Ohh what did you do?"

"I read my favorite books, checked some encyclopaedias"

"That's amazing, keep learning :)"
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Was he not intrested in talking or was I not able to understand him.
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He had a baseball tournament, there was a month for them to leave. I was so confused because I wanted to cheer him when he leaves for it. So excitedly I asked him about the dates.
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I don't know why but that day he lied to me about the date. They had a month to leave for the game...and he said they will leave within a week. And yet again being a fool, within one week...I dropped him a text

"All the best, do come back after winning the match"

A thanks came from the other side.
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But the moment I reached the college that day I found the team was already practicing in the ground. They weren't going anywhere? I asked the games teacher about the upcoming baseball match schedule and came to find out that Tyler lied to me.
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This time I felt like I was really stupid and dumb girl, I had stopped focussing on myself. Instead I was not even studying properly because his thoughts occupied my mind. I was fucking hurt from inside. I had no one to tell anything to.

Even Geena was always busy preparing for studies, she stopped talking much to me. Maybe I left her alone in this whole process of chasing this guy. But why was Tyler lying to me? He stopped inviting me to his place, he stopped texting me first, he made a fool out of my emotions. I was angry with him, very angry...but he didn't even text once to know my condition
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Such a jerk!

Was he not even a bit concerned, or maybe his life was now going smooth without any disturbance from my side.
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I didn't text him for about a week, but when in love...you always get defeated when it comes to your heart. And then yes! The next moment I texted him then and there.

"I think you forgot you have a friend dear buddy, don't you miss me enough to text me once" "smirks"

"What?😂no I was hurt, my ankles got twisted. And you know my sports and all. Noone's ignoring you"😂😂